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Is my boyfriend up to no good or is it my anxiety tricking me?

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jodes00
jodes00

hello, thank you for reading and sorry for the essay.

ive been with my boyfriend for 18months, we've been up and down for alot of our relationship but both keep fighting to stay together as when we aren't falling out we are in love and happy but I am not 100% if i can trust him...he has told alot of lies and knocked my confidence and ive struggled to recover from that. He has regularly liked girls pictures on Instagram, people we know and models 95% of the pics have been women posing in underwear or swimwear, i told him after the first time i didnt like it and how it made me feel and he promised he wouldnt do it again but he did, he would apologize then do it again and then lie about it and say it wasnt him he would lie and lie and then finally admit he unliked the photo but wouldnt admit to like it, theres been lies about other things aswell he would finally admit the truth and beg for my forgiveness and i have tried my best to give it as i love him but its taken its toll on me to which i had a breakdown and took an overdose, I feel like my mental health is slightly improving since then but one thing that is holding me back is the amount of time he spends on his phone and whether he still lies and thinking about that sets me back and keels me over again...the pain it gives me takes over my body. how do i stop this? how do i get out of this mess before my mental health gets the better of me 😦

0 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • jan34534
    jan34534 jodes00

    Posted

    trust your instincts. Don’t second-guess yourself. Whatever you see going on now will quadruple if you stay with him or marry him. Same thing happened to me but I ignored the red flags. I married someone who in his past had cheated on A couple girlfriends. He was also briefly married before we were married.

    sure there were a lot of fun times with him and he could be very nice and funny and caring. But that’s not enough. I should not have ignored the red flags because I spent the next 20 years living with verbal abuse and then infidelity, and divorce which hurt my kids greatly. It’s just not worth it.

    the foundation of any relationship MUST include trust, honesty, Fidelity. You should be able to look at anything he’s doing online without him hesitating. You should be able to see his emails, cell phone and any other social media sites he is using without him hesitating.that’s what trust is all about. If he does not allow you to do that then you have something to be concerned about. you should have absolutely no doubt in your mind that he is honest. and tell yourself that you deserve nothing but the best.

    and another thing is nobody can change anybody else! take care of yourself

  • bernipes
    bernipes jodes00

    Edited

    I agree with Jan about listening to your instincts. From what you tell us, this person's actions take away your peace. If you have come so far to tell us this (which I think is very brave of you), it means that you know that what he does is a very bad sign.

    I always say that there are 2 things that should not be tolerated in a relationship: aggression (either verbal or physical) and lying.

    Try talking to someone you trust, start working on detachment and emotional independence as well. A therapist would be ideal for you at this time. Take care!

  • sam18386
    sam18386 jodes00

    Posted

    out. tell him to get out otherwise you will. he doesn't sound pleasant at all! poor you look after yourself, remember you're special and mean lots to people and don't need walking over. either he cleans up or gets out.

  • mia58767
    mia58767 jodes00

    Posted

    Could easily be a lil of both but men gravitate towards peace and you arent peaceful right now if its not bad it will be if you dont find away to balance yourself change ya diet certain foods trigger different emotions work out do something positive in you and watch how his actions yet are important but not as important as how you feel about yaself

  • mia58767
    mia58767 jodes00

    Posted

    Could easily be a lil of both but men gravitate towards peace and you arent peaceful right now if its not bad it will be if you dont find away to balance yourself change ya diet certain foods trigger different emotions work out do something positive in you and watch how his actions yet are important but not as important as how you feel about yaself

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