Is My Husband Depressed

Posted , 4 users are following.

This has been going on for almost a year but I was always afraid to ask if he was depressed and thought he is just down.

Then in August he thought he was in love with a woman who talked to at our gate. She was just seeing how far he would go (she has said this). He announced he was leaving after 32 years, then decided he would stay.

Of course things were tense for a while but i thought they were almost fixed. 

Then he announced he was numb and didn't have any feelings for anyone, myself , children , family etc.

He can't be bothered doing anything and he was always great at gardening, decorating etc.

He can't sleep. feels low and seems to blame me for everything. When he sleeps he jumps about all night. no interest in sex. Feels he has done nothing with his life due to me. 

In 32 years he can only remember bad times no good times.

He won't go for any help (theres nothing wrong with him)

I have lost over 2 stone in weight and can't keep food down I am so worried. This makes him feel bad but he needs help.

Please Please send me advise, I am at my wits end and have no one to turn to

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Geirgaline

    Best advice I can give is remember to look after yourself too. My gf was diagnosed post natal depression and so much effort was put into supporting her and making sure she was OK I neglected myself. Without even realising it I find my self about to start counselling for depression, a gf that improved so much in the last few months especially that she has decided it's time to move on and quite frankly has left me behind. The mistake I made was compromising my own well being and putting my life on hold.

    You also need to remember that it is your whole family involved here and you aren't alone. Tell his family, get then involved. The biggest help I've had has been my big sister. She has been amazing.

    You know he needs help and all you can do is your best to ensure he goes and gets it. It's hard but you also need to consider he needs to go, he can't be forced. All you can do is hope he figures that out before its to late and he loses his family.

    I hope this helps in some small way at least. Just please remember look after yourself too.

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much for the comments, I am already on tablets  myself because of this. His Family don't want to know. My son has Aspergers syndrome and my daughter works long hours. My friend has been great as has our minister.

      Does it sound like depression or is he trying to drive me mad

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    • Posted

      It does sound like depression. You can't act like that consistently just to drive someone mad. Is he close at all with your side of the family? What about a close friend even if he's lost touch with them recently? Has he isolated himself? From my experience I isolated myself and became a sort of recluse. I convinced my self I had no friends as in my head they didn't make the effort. Just a few days ago I reached out to a close friend on facebook and got talking again and that has been good too. Even just to know they know I'm still around and they do care.

      He also needs to realise that depression is an illness and medical problem just the same as flu or broken bone. It's symptoms may not be as obvious and you don't have the battle scar on show from a bone break but it's no less a debilitating illness than the worst broken bone or man flu. But just the same as an illness or injury there is help and it can be treated and there is no shame in asking for the help. There would be more shame not to and have it continue to have a negative effect on his loved ones.

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  • Posted

    hi georga you have really been through the wringer ! im sorry to say he needs to to some kind of.councilling i.e marriage ! if he refuses theres not a lot you can do other than trying to make it plain to him its his choice maybe but does he.really want to throw away the time youve been together ! i wish you well david
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  • Posted

    If I was you I would say you are leaving him with family as you cannot take anymore and have a word  with you doctor, he knows you better than me.

    sorry can't help anymore, pretend you have somewhere to go and live.

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