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Is my Mam an alcoholic?

Posted , 6 users are following.

mami5
mami5

Hi all.  Can you help me please?  My Mam is in her late 70's and drinks 3 - 4 glasses of wine every night.  She only buys the strong ones of at least 13%.  We went on holiday a few ago when she drank a lot more.  She comes home and brags how much she drank, she's proud of it.  Last Sunday we went round to friend's house for a party, she got drunk and said some very hurtful things.  I haven't seen her since, can't face her.  She's done this before.  What can I do?  Is she an alcoholic?  My brother nearly died due to effect alcohol had on his liver.  Why is she doing this?

0 likes, 14 replies

14 Replies

  • PaulJTurner1964
    PaulJTurner1964 mami5

    Posted

    Yes, she has a problem. If you want to convince her, challenge her to go for a night without a drink (but have some on standby in case she gets withdrawal symptoms) and, if she struggles to do it, she will realise that she has a problem. There are a number of solutions if she does, but she would need to agree to look at them.
    • mami5
      mami5 PaulJTurner1964

      Posted

      Thank you for your reply, she would never agree to go without, she drinks at least 3 bottles of wine a week, and if she runs out then she'll go for vodka.  She would never admit to having a problem either.  She really embarrassed me last Sunday.  Hate to say this, but I'm ashamed of my own Mam.
    • PaulJTurner1964
      PaulJTurner1964 mami5

      Posted

      Then tell her that he unwillingness to prove it to you means that she MUST have a problem. I'm sorry you are going through this. People who have an alcohol problem need to recognise they do before it can be dealt with. Alcohol treatment cannot be forced on anybody.

      Just know that alcohol addiction is not a life choice, it is a medical condition and it is not people's fault when they get into trouble. However, it IS their responsibility to recognise it and try to find a solution.

    • emmab
      emmab PaulJTurner1964

      Posted

      Hi Paul,

      Is there anyway to send a private message to you.

      Kind Regards

      Emma

    • PaulJTurner1964
      PaulJTurner1964 emmab

      Posted

      Click my name, Emma, then you will go to my profile page and see an option to send me a message.
  • Richardt
    Richardt mami5

    Posted

    She is a alcoholic, does she embarrass u every time she drinks , what did she really do it might not be as bad as u think, has she always drank in her 40's, 50's.
    • mami5
      mami5 Richardt

      Posted

      Hi Richardt and thank you for your reply, she didn't use to drink every night until this year.  She seems to be getting worse and proud of it.  I suffer from depression and anxiety, and she knows this, what she said on Sunday night while totally drunk, to family and friends, hurt me so much that on Monday I was picked up by the police for being suicidal.  It wasn't nice.  This wasn't the first time she's hurt me this way.  She has no control.
    • PaulJTurner1964
      PaulJTurner1964 mami5

      Posted

      Mami, you need to ensure that you look after your own well-being. Refuse to be around her when she is drunk.
    • Richardt
      Richardt mami5

      Posted

      Hi my mum did that to me, l felt betrayed bcoz l trusted her just be strong for yourself dear, why are u not on the depression chat on the same site its really helpful as u will know u are not alone.Cheers
    • Richardt
      Richardt mami5

      Posted

      Hi my owm mum did that to me, l also suffer from depression like, why not share with us on a depression ,topic on the same site its really helpful dear, cheers
    • mami5
      mami5 Richardt

      Posted

      Thank you Richardt, I have posted in the depression section more than once before and had magnificent support.  Sorry you've suffered with your Mam too.  xx
  • mami5
    mami5

    Posted

    Had DBT today with psychologist.  Told him about my Mam and what she'd said while totally drunk last Sunday, he said she was an alcoholic too.  It was painful to hear.  I haven't seen her since last Sunday and in no hurry to do so either.  Thank you for your support. xx
  • Louisaluvsrio
    Louisaluvsrio mami5

    Posted

    Hello mami5

    My mum was an alcoholic and it was when she died that I realized you can never fix their problem or make them stop.

    She made promises which she never kept i.e. "let's eat out tonight to give you a break from cooking".

    When it was evening I said to mum are you ready to go and she was drunk and snapped "why do you want to go out with your mother. Haven't you got any friends?"

    It taught me never to get involved with an alcoholic and also that it is only the person's decision to think that their life is bad with alcohol and that they want to stop.

    But I understand you. It's your mother. She gave birth to you and you want her love.

    Don't get too upset by the things your mum says. It is the evil alcohol that does it. There are more alcoholics than drug addicts because it is so easy to buy.

    Enjoy your time with mum when she is sober but when mum drinks it is time to go home.

    Let me know how you are getting on.

  • kathryn_06555
    kathryn_06555 mami5

    Posted

    Yes she has a problem, but I think alcoholic is a hard label to put on anyone . She may have alcohol issuies but you don't want label your mam as that .

    talk to her and ask how she is feeling as well x 

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