Is my wife suffering from depression?
Posted , 7 users are following.
Hi all this is my first post please bear with me.
My wife is 38 and I am 44 we have been married for 11 years and together for 15, 9 weeks ago she told me our marriage was over that she wasn't in love with me and I wasn't in love with her,
Some history my wife's mother and father were both big drinkers so much so her mum was and alcoholic for several years she passed away 2 1/2 years ago my wife has never visited the grave since the funeral she says she has done all of her greiving.
We have two young daughters aged 6,8 we have spoke about our home and who will live there etc I have moved out to give her space and time,
She has told me several times that she dosent think I'm in love with her when I tell her I am she just says I don't believe you. She also says she ended our marriage for us and dosent want to try and sort it out because she can't see a way back.
We were still intimate untill 3 weeks before we split up we had made loose plans to decorate our bedroom booked a holiday in January.
She said that she was going to tell me in December and January but they were to close to Christmas then February is my birthday month so she waited till March?
Her best friend moved to Cornwall early December and she told me a few days ago that she thought about just moving down there with our children.
When we have spoke I've suggested that maybe a visit to the GP might be a good idea but I'm just met with no I don't need to see him they will only give me anti depressants and I'm not depressed, she has said its been the worst 9 weeks of her life she feels sad down tearful can't eat or sleep properly panic attack anxiety she dosent watch anything on the TV that reminds her of me, she has curled up on the sofa when the children are bed and cried to herself, she has been out with a friend stayed in a hotel and cried all night and the next day. Her alcohol intake has increased too. There is no-one else involved on either side.
She has also said she's had what she describes as an outerbody experiance where she can see herself involved in our breakup but can't do anything about it,
That is the basics of my story my question is is it possible that she may be suffering with a form of depression if so what is the best course of action for me I feel helpless watching the woman I fell in love with suffering like this and really don't know what to do? Please help if you can.
0 likes, 21 replies
FC33
Posted
her drinking seems to have increased even further she's now drinking 3/4 good sized glasses of vodka and coke maybe 4 times a week.
she has gone away for a week as of today with her sisters and children having spoke to her sister in the week she is also worried about her drinking and the current situation with regards to our marriage and her mental state.
hopefully a week away will be relaxing for her and give her time to think away from the usual life stresses.
AnonymousWoman FC33
Posted
This all sounds positive. I suppose to you that sounds odd for me to say as you probably can't believe it has all come to this but trust me this is a great step that you and your wife and her sister have all realised what your wife's main issue is. That's one hell of a big step!
A week away will be good for her. A change of scenery is good. I have found that from my own experience anyways.
I hope the situation continues to improve. I know you are worried about her drinking (and rightly so) but right now, the fact that she is seeing a bereavement counsellor is a really good step. Right now, her dependence on alcohol is her method of coping with that grief. Through counselling, she will be able to get to a place where she can start to wean herself off the alcohol. It won't be easy but there is a way through.
Welldone to you for being so supportive and loving. It's never for easy to stand by and watch someone you love suffer so much and start to withdraw from you.
Keep supporting her the way you have been, you're doing great even though it mightn't feel like it
I'm glad you posted again to let us know how it's going. If you need any more advice at all, just let us know
anonymousgirl
FC33 AnonymousWoman
Posted
thanks again for your reply and support I'm hoping a few quiet nights chatting with her sister and the break away will really help, your right it is the hardest time of my life watching my lovely wife change and go through this traumatic time and not being able to help her I guess it's just time and space that she needs.
Everyone I've spoke too my family her family and friends cannot believe this has happened she didn't tell anybody till after it had happened, I spoke to one of her friends yesterday and asked how my wife was the reply "up and down" I got the feeling that her friend also thinks she is suffering from an illness tho she didn't say it.
i will keep you posted thanks again FC x
AnonymousWoman FC33
Posted
Up and down is normal at the start, it's better than permanently down! It'll be like that for the start. Then maybe some longer "ups" and some painful downs because she thought she was getting better . . .and then to a place where the downs aren't heartbreaking/unbearable anymore and they're just something that happens that's part of life, little dips instead of downward spirals that seem unending and so hard to climb out of it!
Talk to you soon!
mike02319 FC33
Posted