Is one persons anxiety more valid over another's?

Posted , 3 users are following.

I really hope I can put this across properly and not cause any offence. I realise my thoughts are not necessarily right. Still I find myself struggling with something ...

I can't help myself thinking that there are TWO camps/groups when it comes to depression/anxiety etc...meaning to say, consider:

PERSON A - Whose upbringing was good, who never experienced any trauma, abuse or loss, whose life now is good (no financial worries, nice home, no health problems, great job, good friends and support network, lovely kids, dog, and all together much to be blessed for). Also nothing in the future to concerned about. Basically no detectable issues etc.

Now...compare to...

PERSON B - Basically the opposite to Person A. Whose past was not priviledged (maybe coming from a poor background, dome abuse and/or several tragic bereavements i.e. sister dying to breast cancer, mother killed in RTA and cared for elderly father dying), whose here and now (present) is strewn with real actual problems (long term unemployment due to 3rd job loss, chronic back pain and other health problems, financial worries, not able to eat well, no partner, no surving family members, forced house sale, single parent, one son stabbed and another estranged after running away from home, lonely with no friends to speak of, whose future is not secure (I.e. no pension, not much family to depend upon etc).

Both report suffering from anxiety/stress/depression.

OK I hope you got the picture...

So my question is ...which person is really depressed ..or should I say, is it possible for both PERSON A and B to have an equally valid case to say they are depressed?

Forgive me, I know my thought processes may well be totally wrong. But if I'm totally honest I have much more sympathy for Person B. Its as if Person As depression is a mirage of sorts ..and has no legitimacy. Like I ssud please forgive ..no offence meant. Its just that I feel my depression is linked to what were and are REAL ACTUAL tragic events. Have I made sense?

Final question, now given the totally different circumstances between Person A and Person B ...if they BOTH have the right to say they are truly suffering ...is the approach to helping them the same? Or does one need meds or would say Person Bs condition be improved say by alleviating what's causing the stress?

Somehow I think I've made this much to complicated and confusing ..so so sorry if I have. Minds all over the place today :{

Best wishes to all...

Thankyou

1 like, 6 replies

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    I see Anxiety and Depression as an illness so think all people's suffering is the same.I think many people say they are depressed and they are not not truly.....they are having problems or feeling down and to me that isnt depression...depression to me is a crushing illness that you just feel and dont know why...it goes deeper than being sad but that is just my opinion.  I get where you are coming from though and maybe person B would have a harder time coming through there depression/Anxiety because of the hand that life has dealt them.   

    Claire

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  • Posted

    I see Anxiety and Depression as an illness so think all people's suffering is the same.I think many people say they are depressed and they are not not truly.....they are having problems or feeling down and to me that isnt depression...depression to me is a crushing illness that you just feel and dont know why...it goes deeper than being sad but that is just my opinion.  I get where you are coming from though and maybe person B would have a harder time coming through there depression/Anxiety because of the hand that life has dealt them.   

    Claire

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    • Posted

      I hear you Claire and yours sounds like the correct way of looking at things. I am both sad and ashamed to say that sometimes I find myself (wrongly) getting frustrated at people who say they are stressed out or very anxious over say a pay decrease or their child never got into their school of choice. For me depression has crippled me and when I think of the past, present I really do have serious 'actual' (not just in my mind or irrational) things that have been/are a great challenge! 

      STILL maybe circumstance as you suggest has nothing or little to do with it ..and its say a faulty gene or an inherited illness.

      Depression/Poor mental health? Can be the most savage and debilitating of condition (my opinion only).

      Best wishes and peace Claire (thankyou) 

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  • Posted

    i think it is the reality that a person feels they are in - person a or b - that matters. if you suffer from depression, not just feel a bit down or disappointed, then both a and b feel like crap. the darkness is the same despair-inducing feeling regardless of how hard the road before it was. it also gets to the argument of whether depression is environmental or genetic, both, influenced in which way by which factors.

    anxiety can also afflict a or b.

    depression taints the way one views his situation and what the possible roads to recovery could be. i think person b may have more challenges if all those terrible circumstances coincide and plague him, but the pain and struggle probably "feel" the same to both people.

    and both people - regardless of their perceived priviledge orvperceived disadvante - deserve help and healthier times.

    that's just how i see it upon first reflection. interesting point to raise.

    hope you feel better soon!

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    • Posted

      Thankyou Lean for not only yaking the time to reply but for offering sound thoughts. It has helped me to reframe my own thoughts and views.

      I really do wish so so much that I was a resilient man/person ..it appears that regardless of what I've been through and am going through now, IF only I had no susceptibility for poor mental health ...all things ..no matter how tragic or difficult would not be devastating to me but rather like water off a ducks back!

      Thanks again Lena for your wise thoughts. Take care and much peace!

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    • Posted

      karl - i think you can build resiliency, but it requires a lot of mental effort! not easy. life deals out some tough cards sometimes: i am in awe of people who can take their hits and just keep on keepin' on.

      for those of us depressed or anxious, the challenge is certainly finding the inner strength and courage to try to work in ourselves (with meds, counseling, critical and healthy self-reflection, a positive attitude, cultivating gratefulness) so that we can see a way put of the dark places and realise that we are worth fighting for!

      it isn't easy, but think if how good it will feel when you can say "i don't feel so bad anymore".

      take care!

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