is something wrong with me ?? what happened to me?

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i had a bad evening yesterday my girlfriend and i had a normal fight she was angry and i was pretty okay... after a while she started crying because she felt bad becuase of her behaviour and i felt that very bad the whole night went not that good but the next morning i woke up with something in mind that i didnt understood ... i was silent the whole day but evening i went to see her and i felt happy and i went for a walk but after few minutes i got upset and irritated and i wanted to talk but i was not able to open my mouth like it was stitched ... i felt numb inside like cold and didnt even reacted to anything after sometime i felt my eyes tired and even she said that you were not looking at me like you do ?? what might have happened ??? ...need help.!!

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  • Posted

    Latish

    Sounds like you are frightened to ask Her a question. The reply you are expecting will either shock or start to have a further argument and then break up.

    If you need to know something you either ask or forever hold your peace. You may find out something later that ould upset your life together

    You keep your mouth zipped or not, that is your decision, you have decisions to make I feel

    Good Luck

    BOB

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  • Posted

    You had a feeling. Feel it. Follow it through and don't analyse it . If there's some meaning or action to be taken because of the feeling it will come to you. It could also be just some physical thing there are types of flu and other virus things that cause feelings. Feelings you could describe as doubt or guilt or whatever.  Most of the times feelings are just meant to be felt and don't need to be reacted to, you could easily go down a storyline about what a feeling means but that's just your brain needing to find a story in everything. It needs to have a because.  But there isn't always a because, it's just your brains job to always be looking for it. Like sometimes people just need to cry, or laugh for no real reason and sometimes a feeling happens like you feel sick or weird or sad and don't know why. That's just being himan. If you start making up a narrative where there isn't one you can end up right down the rabbit hole.  If there is some reason to e known it will probably make itself known and otherwise it will just pass. Most feelings and emotions if you let yourself feel them pass pretty quickly and a whole lifetime of crap can come from trying to avoid feeling something and letting it pass. People do all kinda of things to avoid feelings because they are afraid to face them because maybe it means something and they get so far away from their feelings and so far into the story they make up about why they feel something that you can spend years trying to figure out things which if you just let them pass through you would resolve themselves. Like if something hurtful happens, you get a shock or Somone embaresses you you can build an entire framework of thought around that feeling which builds and builds and years later you go to therapy GO back to that moment where the story began  feel the feeling and suddenly that storyline ends. Like you feel embarrassed you don't want to feel that so you say something rude to the teacher who embarrassed you, then you tel yourself the story that you are the class trouble maker and you deal with situations by being rude you end up living life in defence against a feeling which if you had just felt it at the time would not have killed you as would have healed. 

    Maybe you were hurt or guilty or just having a new experience that felt strange because you hadn't had it before, maybe it was a feeling which reminded you of something as a child triggered an old wound, whatever, feel it, let it be felt, and it will pass through you and leave you a different person but not a bad thing. A lot ofte hurts in life are unavoidable, but once they happen there's no point trying to deflect them, the arrow has gone in, doesn't matter why or who or what to do, ya just let it sink in and follow it through to it's conclusion and you keep taking the arrows as they come, in whatever form they come, they don't need a story, they don't need a reason. Life hurts and feels weird! It feels good too. When your emotions stop flowing and being felt people get stuck. Stuck in the story and detache from both pain and joy. Sadness and love.  And instead live in te story of who they are and what things mean, life is supposed to have new strange feelings, because you are growing, new experiences bring new sensations, once you stop those and star living a story nothing changes everything you feel is the same, you close down your growth and become stuck in ground hog day repeating a story to yourself. Like what if you told yourself a story that it meant she wasn't right for you, you'd break up and go out with Somone else then you'd get that feeling again and say oh I always get to this point and then I know it's over, why is this so? But perhaps if you were to just feel it and not react to it, not assume you know what it means, not take action and just let the emotion speak for itself, maybe it would turn out to be something else, a deepening of your sense of empathy,. 

    Oh also girls tears create a hormone which when breathed in by males has a depressing action on libido. If it can affect you libido then I assume that could also feel a certain way. So maybe it was just the chemicals in her tears affecting you physically. But yeah dot think your feelings, feel them. smile 

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  • Posted

    Also repressing emotion often feels like choking or being paralysed. Literally a lump in your throat as a feeling rises and you push it down. Go somewhere safe where you can process. Which just means allowing yourself to feel without judgement. 
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  • Posted

    Hi Latish. It sounds like you had a delayed reaction to what your girlfriend said. Let me explain. When your gf got mad and said things to you at the time you did not feel the anger and frustration but the next day or so you started feeling the feelings. Does this fit at all?

    This happens to me sometimes and I was not aware of it for years but through therapy I have learned to recognized that I do this and it no longer upsets me. Hope I was able to express myself well enough because it's kinda complex. 

    Please keep writing us we will be here for you. Diane. 

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