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Hello. Im feeling very crazy. Im diagnosed with OCD and on Zoloft (have been to psychiatrict few times and he put me on Zoloft) and i dont want to go again. Its hard for me to talk about this and kinda shameful.
I ALWAYS feel guilty. All the time. I just cant get over some guilt and shame. I always feel like an evil person and that everyone hate me because they know somrthing evil about me that i even dont know... and that they are right. And everyone hides something about me. I dont deserve to live. I always feel paranoid and anxious. I cry every day and I even tried to kill myself once. I dont feel like there is hope for me. My parents dont understand me. I talked with them about it a lot and they want to help me but simply can not. I dont get better. I feel few years like this. My mom even told me that everyone is tired of my problems and she doesnt believe this is my only problem. I had periods when i get a lot better but then a lot worse. Im afraid that i may be bipolar. I just lose friends because i dont want to go out. I even forbid myself doing things that nakes me happy (playing favorite video game, watching favorite series etc). I just feel uncomfortable doing things i love. Can someone help me discover why i feel this way? I will be VERY THANKFUL.
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