Posted , 6 users are following.
*sorry if this isn't the place to post*
Lately I've been feeling like there are some serious crossed wires in my head. I don't know when it started but it's effecting my life and more importantly, my relationship. I seem to be hot and cold in a matter of seconds. I can be the most loving partner, but one small thing can trigger me to be and say things I'm really not proud off. I'm ridiculously irritable, to a level where I am instantly annoyed in certain situations l. It's as if I'm preempting that I'll be annoyed so I am. It's quite unbelievable. Along side this I change my life goals day to day. One day I'm happy with my career and wish to build on that to progress further in the company to have a well rounded life, and then the next day I'm terrified of the concept of a 'job for life'. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, but I feel deflated a lot of the time. Tired, unwilling to do things. I feel like I'm constantly turning down opportunities to do fun activities. Id rather sit in my room alone binge watching tv. On the rare occasion that I do do these activities, I thouroughly enjoy myself and wonder why I don't do them more often, but then when the next time comes around I turn it down. I went through a period a year or two ago where I didn't even want to do my favourite hobby (music). I quit my band, cut off ties to my small group of friends (which I am now friendly with again) and just soent all of my time with my partner. I still have moments where I can't be bothered to play music, but I do get great joy out of it when I'm properly playing. I feel like I'm a different person. Which leads me on to the way I act. I feel like I have a few different persons that I jump into depending on who I am, and they are seriously polarising. One day I'm loving and I want to spend all of my time with my girlfriend, other days I'm wanting to go out and get drunk and smoke. Right now I company think of anything worse than smoking. I'm not really sure what this post is about. I just want to know if I'm being a moron or if something is actually wrong. Part of me hopes something is wrong, because atlesst then it's potentially fixable.
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