Is there anything wrong with me? Should I go see a professional or am I wasting their time?

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*sorry if this isn't the place to post*

Lately I've been feeling like there are some serious crossed wires in my head. I don't know when it started but it's effecting my life and more importantly, my relationship. I seem to be hot and cold in a matter of seconds. I can be the most loving partner, but one small thing can trigger me to be and say things I'm really not proud off. I'm ridiculously irritable, to a level where I am instantly annoyed in certain situations l. It's as if I'm preempting that I'll be annoyed so I am. It's quite unbelievable. Along side this I change my life goals day to day. One day I'm happy with my career and wish to build on that to progress further in the company to have a well rounded life, and then the next day I'm terrified of the concept of a 'job for life'. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, but I feel deflated a lot of the time. Tired, unwilling to do things. I feel like I'm constantly turning down opportunities to do fun activities. Id rather sit in my room alone binge watching tv. On the rare occasion that I do do these activities, I thouroughly enjoy myself and wonder why I don't do them more often, but then when the next time comes around I turn it down. I went through a period a year or two ago where I didn't even want to do my favourite hobby (music). I quit my band, cut off ties to my small group of friends (which I am now friendly with again) and just soent all of my time with my partner. I still have moments where I can't be bothered to play music, but I do get great joy out of it when I'm properly playing. I feel like I'm a different person. Which leads me on to the way I act. I feel like I have a few different persons that I jump into depending on who I am, and they are seriously polarising. One day I'm loving and I want to spend all of my time with my girlfriend, other days I'm wanting to go out and get drunk and smoke. Right now I company think of anything worse than smoking. I'm not really sure what this post is about. I just want to know if I'm being a moron or if something is actually wrong. Part of me hopes something is wrong, because atlesst then it's potentially fixable.

Thanks.

1 like, 10 replies

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    It just looks like you have a lot of mood swings to me, it could be depression, but you are able after a while to bring yourself round and do things enjoyable. You have the tools to fix this if you want to.

    ​rich

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    • Posted

      Hi Charlie,

      I agree with Richard. You could well have depression. Dression is an illness just as flu is. It is very difficult to self diagnose as I know from experience. With me it had become life threatening before I got treatment and what a wonderful difference that made. I certainly do not think you are a moron. I should advise getting your GP to refer you. My GP  thought it was a marital problem. In the end I selfrefered to Talking Therapies and then got my GP to refer me as well.

      I do hope you get some professional help. It seems that happiness, family and job are at stake.

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    • Posted

      Hi Richard,

      I totally understand where you're coming from. This is what I've been feeling and basically why I made this post. I don't want to go out and say "yes I'm feeling terrible, I have x illness." Because there are obviously people who have much more serious situations. I think you're right when you say I have the tools. I feel a certain level of will power will fix 99% of these issues.

      Thanks buddy

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    • Posted

      I think I'll probably take your advise in going to see someone about it.. What the worst that can happen right? They even do over the phone appointments now at my local clinic. At least that way I'll have a better understanding of what's going on.

      Thanks

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  • Posted

    Hi Charlie,

    first off, of course you're not a moron. From everything you've described I think you have legitimate reasons to see a professional, any professional who thinks that you're wasting their time probably shouldn't be a professional.

    it sounds to me as if you are suffering from a low mood and I think some underlying, perhaps even subconscious anxiety.

    I think it's a good idea to lay off the smoking for now and maybe even lay off drinking for a while. Certainly you should go and see a doctor. You'd go and see a doctor if you were in pain or you were vomiting a lot, wouldn't you? Depression is a legitimate illness and by seeing a doctor sooner rather than later you may nip these 'mood swings' you're experiencing in the bud and stop them from becoming a full blown bout of depression.

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  • Posted

    I think you should definitely go see your doctor. You might have a little bit of personality disorder. That is what you are describing here. My niece has it, and after a few years her boyfriend got fed up and insisted she go get help, and discovered she has BPD. She got medication for it, and went for CBT therapy to learn how to control it. That was 6 years ago. It saved her relationship, and it saved her career. Everything you describe here is what she was experiencing. That's why I'm assuming it might be BPD or something similar, like unstable personalities that change suddenly and unpredictably.

     

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  • Posted

    You're not being a moron. Go see someone or even just talk to a good friend or family member who isn't afraid to tell it as it is. I have felt as you have before and continue to every now and then, like you're hot then cold or you go back and forth between life goals for no particular reason. Sometimes it just takes a good talking to by someone who won't tell you what you want to hear. If you find you do have depression, so what? It's okay. Just make sure you talk to a mental health professional before thinking you have some kind of psychological disorder or illness.
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    • Posted

      I think you made a valid point there. We should never label ourselves with a diagnosis because we think we behave in the same way or have similar feelings to someone who has a psychiatric diagnosis.
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  • Posted

    It sounds like symptoms of a mild bipolar and maybe some multiple personality types. I would go talk to a schiciatrist. Sorry i cant spell very good
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