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Is this a blip/setback? 12 weeks today at 20mg

Posted , 5 users are following.

liam47836
liam47836

I've read countless posts about blips and setbacks throughout this forum, probably too much, but with the complete lack of information from the doctors this community has been a real godsend.

Even having read all the other people's experiences and advice it's really hard to deal with it when it comes along.

I'm 6 and half months in recovery from alcohol and drugs as well as recovering from years of stress, depression and anxiety so I'm imagining my recovery back to somewhere near my baseline might take some time.

Anywho I'm definitely having a setback right now, i had a really good two weeks the other week but since then I've felt flat, negative thoughts, low mood and energy and sleep disturbance. I'm trying my best to practice acceptance and allow these feelings to flow through me as I'm sure it will pass but it is tough! I hate how inward and withdrawn I feel when these blips happen. I'm dreading going to work today but I know avoidance of responsibility can just make things worse so I will persevere.

I know this probably sounds like many others experience but I needed to vent and just looking for some encouragement really ! Thanks !

1 like, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • joanne58498
    joanne58498 liam47836

    Edited

    Hi. Firstly i want to congratulate you on your adduction journey. Its an incredible achievement and you should feel very proud of yourself. I take citalopram, im on 40mg. you may need to increase your dose as you have levelled out. This is all very normal in regards to anti depressants. You start then, feel good then level out. You increase your dose, feel a bit worse then level out. I would suggest speaking to your Dr. It doesn't sound like you have the best Drs but i think its something you need to do. Do you take anything else along with citalopram? Are you having any type of therapy? You sound like you are doing everything you need to do and acknowledging your feelings and letting them happen. I am having a blip with my anxiety at the mo. Its been nearly 5 years. I find the support and advice on here invaluable. Hope you have q good day. Jo

    • liam47836
      liam47836 joanne58498

      Posted

      Hi Jo,

      Thanks so much for your congratulations, its been a tough journey but my sobriety is a really big deal to me. My substance misuse has led to some really destructive behaviours in the past and I'm learning to forgive myself for those and try and let go of the resentment and low value of myself I am harbouring.

      I'd always been against taking anti-depressants, like many others I suppose as I'd like to heal as naturally as possible. However, this year my perspective changed and I realised I really haven't been well and thought I'd give them a shot.

      Its been very up and down but I've definitely experienced some good weeks where I thought I was back on track but I'm in a deep setback again and can barely think straight.

      In regards to the upping the dosage, I appreciate where you're coming from but from what I've read I'm still early in my recovery and perhaps its better to allow the 20mg to settle further. I'd definitely be hesitant about upping the dose anyway.

      I was in therapy for about 3 months but after I relocated cities I havent started back up but its definitely something i want to pursue again as i found it v beneficial. I exercise often and my diet is really good, so I like to think I'm doing the right things around the medication but something is still kicking my butt atm. Rant over ! Ugh !

    • joanne58498
      joanne58498 liam47836

      Edited

      Hi. you definitely have to forgive yourself for what has happened in the past..it will shape you to be the person you are today. in regards to the citalopram, its probably a good idea to stick with your dose and see if it levels out a bit more. I would definitely recommend going for counselling/ therapy. It a long road to recovery as well you know. You have done it before and you will do it this time. Try to keep yourself busy and distracted.

  • liam47836
    liam47836

    Posted

    Just to update this, it was definitely a blip. These setbacks seem to follow a similar pattern in that I'll feel flat for a few days, maybe a week and then my mood will spiral to a peak where I'll have a bit of a meltdown, then it subsides and I'm good again. Its pretty horrible when it happens because like others have said before you question everything and completely lose sight of your recovery.

    Pleased to say I'm back on track and feeling much more within myself/positive. The blips do seem to be getting more sparse and I seem to be bouncing back quicker each time, so these are encouraging signs I guess!

  • thomas56261
    thomas56261 liam47836

    Edited

    Hi Liam

    This seems to be part of the journey, I am 9 months on 20mg Cit and still get these blips but what ive noticed in the past 6-8 weeks they are starting to become less bad, i dont get stuck in the loop as much.

    When these moments come just always say "this too shall pass" and keep doing what your doing life wise ( I know easier said than done). Also seems 20mg is working good for you and you jus t need more time.

    Good luck.

    • liam47836
      liam47836 thomas56261

      Posted

      Hi Thomas,

      Thanks for your comment, really appreciate it. Yes I think that's what I'm starting to experience now and the setbacks are fewer and a bit less severe, which is obviously progress.

      Cheers for the advice, this is exactly the mindset I'm adopting, to accept the blips as part of the process and allow the feelings to surface rather than run away or judge them. But like you say easier said than done!

      Glad to hear you've had big improvements in your recovery and I hope you continue to improve further.

      All the best buddy!

    • nataliya.k
      nataliya.k thomas56261

      Posted

      Hi Thomas

      not sure if you are around but just wanted to ask how is your recovery going .? i am 10 months on 20mg fluoxetine and still going up and down with blips. Hope they will finally go away..

  • nataliya.k
    nataliya.k liam47836

    Posted

    Hi Liam

    i hope you are doing good now. I just came across your post and it resonates with me 100% . I am 10 month on 20mg fluoxetine and it was terrible journey for me, terrible side effects, all feelings were 1000000x worse than before meds. And than started ups and downs, terrible mornings and nice evenings. And than arrived "blips", those one are terrifying me till now, because in blip i feel just like when i start meds with all side effects. I am practicing acceptance as well but its sooooo hard when you in blip. And i am finding that every new blip scares me mire and more because i thought i am out of this hole.. Please tell me how are you doing .? I would love to hear your success story to keep me going

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