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Is this in my head?

Posted , 6 users are following.

sincerelytahj
sincerelytahj

I have seen many people with this issue of thinking they smell bad...is it in our head or is it real?

My story started when I was hanging out with an ex - friend who had an extreme case of insecurity about her appearance. I cared about my appearance a lot and did all necessary things to care for myself but I will admit that it was never a priority. It just wasn't ever a problem. I never had a thought or a suspicion that I was giving off any kind of odor. I was sociable and hated staying in the house. Adventure and Party were my middle names and that was my life until someone looked at me like I was trash. I had never witnessed anyone look at me like that and I took it as maybe there having a bad day. Maybe it's not me. That was almost 3 years ago and life has been Hell ever since.

Today I try my best to stay in the house as often as I can because it's no longer one person looking at me like that or sniffing/covering their nose/etc when I'm in their presence. It has gotten so bad that I think people from down the street, people in cars, and even people outside of my job can smell me. I work at a gas station overnight and the doors are locked my entire shift. The only air in and out of the building is through a little sliding door that customers and I exchange merchandise and cash and I believe that they can smell me through the door, at the pump and a specific radius around the building.

I have never heard anyone say anything about my smell..I actually only hear good things from other people. I am naturally a very open person and I have talked to almost all my friends, and family about my situation and they tell me they cannot smell me. They even call me crazy and have suggested many things to help me mentally but nothing physically as they apparently don't know what is going on. I took the root issue to be guilt. I see myself on the outside the way I feel on the inside and I decided to go to a depression camp for 6 months. I was let go from the program because they told me I just needed extensive counseling.

I do have a boyfriend, a long distance boyfriend who I've met in person. He has also told me that I don't smell and that he supports me all the way. I'm grateful for him because he makes life a little easier.

I grew up religious, spiritual is probably a better word. My mother is the one who introduced me to God and this experience is honestly pushing me away from Him. I feel like He has forsaken me even though I know that isn't true because even in this struggle I'm still blessed with people who love me and want to see me do better.

I think I have just hit rock bottom with this situation. I feel like there's no where else to go but up. It's messing up my life. I'm no longer adventurous and I find myself in bed and crying all day, mentally preparing myself for work, crying at work because of people's reaction to me and running home to start all over again. I used to enjoy people and now I hide from them. The experience is tiring and can be very lonely due to my tensing up when conversing and even standing around others.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I have been looking up TMAU and I am thinking maybe I have that. I am also thicker than your normal person and I am thinking maybe it's my sweat and anxiety mixed with extra bacteria...I'm just exhausted and my options are also exhausting themselves.

If anyone has this issue and has overcome it, how did you feel and how did you overcome??

How can I start living again rather than living to die?

2 likes, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • nick34171
    nick34171 sincerelytahj

    Posted

    Keep.note of your diet, see what days are good and bad. Also look into candida maybe, or hormonal imbalance. Good place to google is mebo, helps people.with odour issues. Keep a log of day to day things put in good and bad things though as recording negative reactions alone all the time will sink you more into depression. Wish I had done this years ago. I'm a bit tired. So sorry for spelling. Keep your Dr up to date too. Nick.
    • sincerelytahj
      sincerelytahj nick34171

      Posted

      Thanks so much for replying Nick.

      I will definitely try these things. Did your experience end up being your diet? Your spelling is fine.

      I do have a doctor who gave me a prescription for prozac, which I did not want and I've been too afraid to go back and see her...i know. I feel like a little kid. I am definitely going to log my days.

      How long was your experience? Has it gone away? Sorry I'm so curious.

      I hope u get some sleep smile

    • nick34171
      nick34171 sincerelytahj

      Posted

      I'm nowhere near cured but changing my diet did help. Gather info from sites like mebo and take to your Dr to explore, I'm sorry but I took a few extra pills, so really tired. You should know that when changing diet sometimes, if its indeed something like tmau or candida you suffer with that your body can smell badly before it get better, I call this th dying off stage.

      Some medicines can also react too. Don't be afraid to keep Dr in loop. My experience is not gone but can be lessened if get focus back. I'm not going to go into detail as I said I would stop posting negative here. Please look up mebo, there's alot of info on there. Don't get caught up in back logs of emotion. And please whatever you do don't get into self blame or that you are being punished by some God. This is science, bodies are different. Its important to stay focus but not let this rule your life and your head. I'm sorry I need to sleep really badly. I will pm you Monday with some info if that will be ok. Stay strong. Nick.

  • bret
    bret sincerelytahj

    Posted

    I know exactly how you feel. I am going through the same thing. Back in march of 2015 I overheard my co-workers making fun of me saying I stink. Then after that everybody at work would start coughing really loud and rubbing their nose when they walk pass me. So I started buying new clothes to see if that would help. People still cough at me. I bought different deodorant and shampoo and still the same results. So I as my girlfriend did I smell bad she said no. I ask family members and they said no. So eventually I transfer to different location for work so I didn't have to deal with my old coworkers anymore. But then the same thing started happening to me at this place too. So I walk off my job and never came back. I keep my self isolated from other people. I don't leave the house unless I really have to. I saw my doctor and he told me I do have candida. He gave me this medication call Diflucan. I this don't think It solve my problem so I am going to start taking Symbion or ThreeLac and hope this kill off the candida for good.
    • sincerelytahj
      sincerelytahj bret

      Posted

      Yes I've left jobs too. I've bought new clothes and tried new soap and new deodorant and it seems that nothing works which is why I think it's in my head. But I will go back to my doctor and see if it's also candida.
  • angela43016
    angela43016 sincerelytahj

    Posted

    It is an illness, so before you look for anything else try to get to grips with that!  Anxiety and depression are a horrible thing and unless you have suffered with it, you do not understand. You are not thick by any means. It is an illness which you are not on your own with! You get thoughts in your mind but you have to realise that is all they are!  Sometimes we cannot control our thoughts but we have to see them as just that!  When they come into your mind just say to them get lost! If you keep doing that it will get you through it x
    • sincerelytahj
      sincerelytahj angela43016

      Posted

      By thick I mean a little more heavy set. But I thank u so much for ur encouragent. My sister told me to think of it like I'm proud that I'm the only one who can smell me. Lol. But I try as hard as possible to let the thoughts go. I'm sure by now people think I'm weird because I find myself curious of their reactions and even looking for them because I JUST KNOW that they're going to have one. If I can convince myself that there reactions are to something else I can let the thoughts go. Thank u so much for replying smile
    • hypercat
      hypercat sincerelytahj

      Posted

      I am inclined to think it is anxiety/depression which makes you think you smell.   Your family and friends would tell you the truth,  I know I would if I was asked.

      As long as you bathe properly every day,  wear clean clothes and live in a clean home you can't do any more than that.     

      There are certain conditions which can cause it or certain foods which don;t help but if so these are medical problems and your doctor clearly doesn't think you smell as s/he hasn't investigated it.  That is why s/he has given you prozac.   As this would help relieve your anxiety why not take them?  It doesn't mean you are a junkie or will be on them for life,  but we all need a little help sometimes.   They are not the super strong meds but a common or garden one so quite safe.  x

       

  • nick34171
    nick34171 sincerelytahj

    Posted

    I didn't mean for you not to take your meds. I meant that some can make you sweat or you can have a reaction to them. Also I know I have a condition my Dr cant smell me either. But I had test done and unfortunately I have a condition as well as depression and other things, anyway smell is a hard issue sensory wise some can smell it others cant, and it could be you are just allergic to some foods or even laundry detergent. I didn't even ask what your smell was like earlier sorry, if you can smell yourself. You should see if meds help for your anxiety, always keep Dr in loop with things and try what they prescribe otherwise you don't know if they help or not. Good luck, will still pm you Monday with info. Nick.
  • blad4
    blad4 sincerelytahj

    Posted

    You definitely, definitely do not smell. 

    Your thought processes, however, are very inefficient. 

    Ironically I have ZERO sense of smell. Imagine my paranoia that I may smell when I am with people. Now imagine also my thought processes also, if possible read my other posts. What we are dealing with in our whole life is completely in our minds, and it is interesting that you know this already. And I can feel your pain because even the realisation itself is scary.

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