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ive had a few problems in my life that have lead to excessive alcohol consumption. But I don't know if what I've been through is normal life or excessive?
please help me to understand what I am going through.
when I was 7 I was sexually abused by an older boy up the road,
when I was 11 I was sexually abused by a gang of about 14 youths.
when I was 17 I was pulled off a train by a gang of gypsies and beaten up, to the extent that they took my clothes and pulled my hair out.
when I was 23 my partner threw me down the stairs with my 6 month old daughter in my arms, cut my hair off and put a knife in my face.
he then left the country.
I was left with all his debt. To cut a long story short I ended up suing my solicitor for negligence and won. But it took years,
in the meantime I met a man who I worshipped.
He loved me and my daughter who was 3 at the time.
i was diagnosed with stage 3 (cin3) precancerous cells on my cervix.
I had treatment and lost 90% of my cervix.
i then had endometriosis. I was diagnosed after 5 years and had laser treatment. After trying unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant I went through IVF treatment. I eventually got pregnant.
in the meantime my husband, who I had put on a pedestal, turned to pornography. Mostly women with big tits. I have a small breast. Also teenage girls in uniform.
that made me feel sick.
but I think that's normal???? Or so he said.
during this time, I was studying for my final exams to become a chartered accountant. It was hard. My husband had just qualified as a chartered surveyor, and life would have been good. But he decided he didn't want to be surveyor so he joined the police.
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