Is this normal? Will it end?
Posted , 4 users are following.
I have suffered from depression on and off for a number of years.
I am 38 and a married father of two with a good job.
Most recently, my depressive symptoms returned and I increased my citalopram dose to 40mg two weeks ago.
i seem to be hitting wall after wall and at the moment, I feel terrible - it doesn't seem to be getting any better.
I am most concerned that i just seem to think its the best plan to walk out on my wife and children. I wouldn't normally think that, but I am convinced that it would be best and I obsess over it.
I just want to be a good dad and a good husband, and at the moment, I am neither. Every time this illness comes back, I feel like the worst person in the world.
I just don't know what to do - I want everything to go back to normal, but it is impossible
0 likes, 3 replies
jan34534 S4M71
Posted
sorry to hear that. You need some support right now. I’m not sure walking out on your family is the best thing to do because it would have a profound effect on the children and also your wife. not sure how old your children are but kids tend to blame themselves when a parent leaves the family, and then they end up with many issues.
Before you make any decisions I would highly recommend that you talk to a counselor who can help you manage all of this.
whether you end up staying or leaving, it’s important to take the right steps concerning your wife and children. That’s where a counselor can help you. they can also support you in your depression.
when I started seeing a counselor, I have found that there are so many things that I had not thought about that were very helpful. I know it’s difficult at times but don’t lose hope. I’m sure your family loves you and wants you to feel well.
I truly hope everything goes well for you and your family.
michael35940 S4M71
Posted
Hi, Sorry to hear that, but i feel you need to talk and make your partner understand your situation. It takes time to come out of it. Find the cause, take help, consult a professional if required and come out of it, be happy and god bless you and your family.
DeedraWells S4M71
Edited
I can see where you are coming from. From someone who had their father walk out on them I can assure you that your children want you to be there. It's hard to watch a parent go through depression my mom had it and refused to admit it even when she wouldn't get out of bed for weeks. I wish my mom would have confided in me her struggles instead of shutting down and/or lashing out. I don't know how old your children are but if they are old enough maybe just be real with them on what your struggling with. You don't have to go into super detail but I think it could help them understand and if they also feel similar that may help them feel they are not alone too. I can empathize with the feeling of wanting to spare your family from watching you struggle with depression but if you walk out on them you will be trading one pain for another. I feel for you and I just want to say overcoming depression is a journey not a destination and we all need help to get through it at some point. It is not your fault and you shouldn't let your depression tell you what kind of person you are. You are more than your depression. Don't be afraid to ask for help. I sincerely hope you can find the strength to fight another day. I am suffering along side you and everyone who struggles with depression. You are not alone. and my hope for you is that you find some relief and peace of mind.