Is this OCD? It's eating me alive

Posted , 3 users are following.

was wondering if ROCD can take many forms? I feel as if mine has changed. When I first started experiencing ROCD. I had thoughts that I didn't love my husband and it sent me into a panic. I even had a panic attack and wanted to leave. However, now I get anxiety when I say to myself that I do love my husband. Is this normal? I feel almost calm whenever I say I don't love him to myself. Could it be I'm afraid of loving? I want nothing more than these thoughts to go away. I hate it and I'm filled with so much guilt and shame. When I cry, I really, really cry. I want to rip my brain out and scratch off my skin. I shouldn't feel this way about my husband. I feel like I'm losing my mind. My anxiety spikes when I'm with my husband or look at his photos. Is this normal? I want to be happy WITH my husband. I'm just not sure if this is even ROCD. I know love is a choice but I can't help but have anxiety when I tell myself I love my husband. I so badly want to love him and be around him as normal again. Other times I feel nothing and that freaks me out. Also, I've been having thoughts about my ex? Which I haven't thought about in a long, long time. Is this normal for OCD? I get thoughts like, "what if I still love him?" Or "what if I am attracted to him?" Even though when we were together I know I didn't! It makes me anxious having these thoughts. Any feedback would be appreciated. Thank you

Also, could crying uncontrollably be a symptom of anxiety? I'll cry so hard I'll almost vomit. Some times I'll scream or I'll just cry out loud. Also, I have a numb/tingling sensation in my lips, chin, part of the left side of my face, and jaw? I don't have the usual anxious feeling in my gut. I also get these frequent cold chills. Are these normal?

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  • Posted

    Hi.. From what Im reading & the way how I see things is that you are suffering more with 'guilt' than OCD by having thoughts if you do or do not have the same affection towards your husband..  Im only assuming that your reactions are bringing on anxiety, hence the sensations that you are experiencing...  I really do feel sorry for you sweetheart & all I can say is that nothing will find a cure until you stop beating yourself up about it & seek some marriage counselling... 
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  • Posted

    Where is your husband while all this is going onis this your Private secret. share this with a counselor or therapist. Whether you love him doesn't need to be a swered because thats where you want to be. So whats love got to do with it quote
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  • Posted

    Crying uncontrollably generally means that you are so desperate and sad that the only option is to cry and cry and cry.

    Nothing you have described sounds like OCD - but it does sound like you need a good therapist to help you to make a difficult choice. Does your husband know about this? Surely he must want to help you? Please find a therapist and let us know how you are. lovee Tess

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  • Posted

    I've been through this you have developed an obsession and are questioning everything thing about your relationship there is a book called self help for your nerves by Dr Clair weeks available on Amazon she goes into this fear of not loving your husband,because the thoughts come with so much emotion that's why you give them attention these thoughts have no bearing on what you really feel you but they are really distressing x
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