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I've got a bit of a long and complex story, and i'd really appreciate some feedback on my situation. Way back in 2002, I came home one day to find my dad lying dead in a pool of his own blood and vomit. He had suffered massive internal bleeding and had died alone the previous evening. I was the only one at home at the time - the rest of my family were out of the country - and I had to deal with arranging for emergency services to attend, phoning some close family etc. It was completely unexpected - he'd not shown any outward signs of being so gravely ill. I was at my girlfriend's the night before, tried phoning him a few times that evening, no answer, thought nothing of it. That morning, i'd bought some beers to watch the rugby at home with him, rented some DVDs to watch afterwards. I came home, opened the door and remember the metallic, sweet smell. I then saw blood smeared on the wall, but in my mind it was nothing to be worried about - just an accident maybe? It was only as I called out for him and found more and more blood that I realised something had happened...I then found him, and couldn't quite process it all. I don't want to go into too much more detail as it is already quite graphic, but there was a lot of mess. Following this, the weeks and months and years went by. But I still clearly remember the smell in the house, the details of the blood and the body, and some of my feelings. It is so vivid some days, that I can remember such detail. My question is this really: it was in 2002, and we're now in 2019. I'm wondering if this would be classified as PTSD or not, given the time that's passed? Or are my thoughts and reactions something else? I've always been an anxious person, but definitely feel it more-so. I can feel incredibly flat and distant somedays, but I think this might be part of my introvert personality. I do think back on the day quite often, especially given something that i'm having to deal with in my line of work just now, however I don't show other signs and symptoms, such as task/event avoidance. Because so much time has passed, and I have achieved quite a lot personally, it does make me question wheter or not I have the condition. Part of me wonders if it really can be PTSD because my life hasn't been completely derailed. Yes, I have been affected, no doubt, but i'm functioning day-to-day, and have a good job, loving family and friends. Sorry for my post being so long - i'm really just looking for some initial thoughts from others on the forum. Thanks for reading, G.
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