Posted , 4 users are following.
hi to everyone, should i be over my dad's death, he died 9 years ago. my friend told me i should 'get over it', i should forget my past. is she right? whether he died 9 years or go or 9 months ago should that make any difference? how do you get over someone as big as your dad? is there a set time scale? hurt just isn't the word. broken. she's lost a really good friend. i feel like I've suffered a double loss.
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jan34534 sam18386
Edited
it’s really difficult losing a parent. I have lost both of mine. There is no timetable for when you should be "over it".
you May never be over it, but that doesn’t mean that you cannot get on and live a happy life. You will always think of your father just as I do my parents.
I have my moments when I think about them, look at their picture and cry. And that’s OK! But then I know that they would want me to have a wonderful happy life. So I find joy in life through my Family and friends and I also enjoy doing things for other people. When you help other people, you find a purpose in life.
staying busy is also important.
its our job to carry-on and live the life that would make your father proud and my parents proud.
So, yes it’s perfectly OK to feel sad about the loss, but don’t let it consume you. Your dad would want you to be happy .
if you are really struggling with this, I would definitely suggest you speak with a counselor who can help you a lot! You could do in person or virtual appointment. I do the virtual appointment and it works great! Many people speak with counselors related to grief.
and One thing I always remember is that this life is very short compared to eternity. One day you will be with your father again, no more suffering no more pain. And that will be for eternity! ❤
sam18386 jan34534
Posted
hi jan, i know how it feels to lose 1 parent and that is bad enough! i am so sorry you have lost both parents, just so sad! i can not believe this girl who was stood at my dad's funeral could be so cruel! to my mind you don't speak ill of the death, on the anniversary of my dad's death she kept making comments. she has blown a 40 year old friendship. never again. just rude. i am sad about this, her dad is really well she should be thankful! i don't always think about my dad but he died on Easter Sunday morning. i didn't need any nastiness! i have lots of time where i try NOT to think about my dad. i could obsess and do so but it wouldn't be good. i think considering he died Easter Sunday that being sad like the rest of my family would be ok, surely?. she's done the damage. i won't forget sadly.....
brianboy4689 sam18386
Edited
My mom died ten years ago and while I can't feel the pain anymore, I can still remember her warm arms around me when I was a baby and it feels soooo good to know that someone loved me so much at one point.
The destiny of every human being is to watch their parents grow old and die, so in a sense time is a. repeating loop for us all...
sam18386 brianboy4689
Posted
hi brianboy, my dad was my rock! his death hit all our family so hard that's what did the harm. he was only 66. he had just retired a couple of years before. it hit us so hard.. the thing that got me was my friend telling me to 'get over my dad's death, oh on the anniversary of his death', she's no longer a friend! you don't do that as a friend or do you? is that kind? i didn't think so!