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When I was younger, I had a psychotic Episode here and there. I don't remember how old I was, but I know I was in elementary school. For one of the psychotic episodes I had, I was Outside leaning against a fence waiting for my friend to come out of the tree house. I then felt some older Guy's hand touch my hair. I was too busy screaming and running away towards my house that I didn't even have time to look behind me to see who it was. It wasn't until my teenage years that I realized it was all an hallucination. Another psychotic episode was even worse. I was visiting family in another state and I was in my niece's room. She is the same age as me. I was still really young and all of a sudden I heard her golden retriever making some weird noise like there was a ghost in the room. I started to get really scared. I then saw a bloody knife go under the door several times as an attempt to try and hurt us. I heard some scary old Guy's voice. I had no idea who it was because no one In the house sounded like that. I was terrified. It was then finally over and I was talking to my niece about it. She said she heard and saw none of it. I was then thinking she was crazy for not paying attention. The hallucinations went away for several years. They came back when I was around 12 years old. I was a little afraid of my dad since he was always tough on me, and due to my severe shyness and anxiety near people. I would constantly hear his footsteps every night, which got worse whenever I was doing something he may not like such as talking to online people. It would also get really bad when I listened to music. I would always check and he would be asleep. It sounded soo real to me. After a few years, the footsteps finally went away. I then started taking turmeric for my chronic knee pain when I was in the 9th grade. This is when the hallucinations changed up a bit. They became visual rather than auditory. I would see random things at anytime of the day, mostly mornings. I might have seen a school bus, my dog, a bug, etc. They were mostly peripheral vision hallucinations and when I looked straight at it, they would usually go away. This made it easy to tell if it was real or not. These hallucinations finally went away after a few months. I was still on turmeric. I am now 15 years old and in the 10th grade. Every day this year, everything has gotten worse. Whenever I'm in the house, I know someone is listening to everything I say. I'm scared to talk to my uncle because I think someone will be listening. I will only talk outside or in public. I think this is classified as a paranoid delusion even tho i know someone is watching me 24/7. I also hear my name sometimes even though no one said it. I also don't trust people because many people let me down by either lying or using me for sexual reasons. I think some people are getting close to me just so they can tell people my secrets (which my uncle did). I also might hear two people talking that are actually there, but their voice sounds like someone else I know. For example, this one time my dad and my mom were outside talking while I was in the house. I was sure that it was my dad and uncle talking. I then saw my mom walk in and also noticed that my uncle wasn't even home yet, so it couldn't have been him. At night, I hear footsteps. Not of my dad this time, but if maybe a ghost. I usually hear them in the kitchen area. I look and no one is there. They keep me up at night because I'm terrified. I sometimes think there is a ghost near by at night. This also keeps me up at night. I was also outside once and heard someone walking outside in the leaves of the house next door that no one lives in. I then saw a black shadow by a car in my driveway. At least I was with my uncle rather than being alone, so I wasn't that terrified. I've been feeling depressed lately, but it's probably due to family problems and school issues rather than possible schizophrenia. My uncle has similar issues as me. He hears weird things like I do and is paranoid. So it could also be in my genes. I know 4 months ago I was molested, and the hallucinations and delusions got worse since, not not sure if it could be ptsd related. I also have no friends due to anxiety. So this could be another reason for the hallucinations. One more thing, during 9th grade only, I would go through mild mood swings in this pattern: one month I'm happy, next month I'm a little sad, etc. I also become a little manic when I'm around people my age. Which is probably due to the severe loneliness. I also sometimes feel like a bug is crawling on my skin even tho I look and there is nothing there. I have a bug phobia.
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