1. Community
  2. Chest and lungs
  3. Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease

Is this the end...

Posted , 15 users are following.

dorsetdee
dorsetdee

My mother-in-law has end stage COPD. In the last 4 days her condition has changed. I have the feeling she is drawing to the end of her life. She has been sleeping for almost the whole day for a couple of days, she has stopped wanting to eat and has been waking at odd times and with confusion. Her breathing is very bad. She has been struggling to get her breath and we have increased her oxygen from 2 litres per minute to 3 litres per minute and she has had to top up with her portable oxygen machine (on 4 litres per minute) when things are really bad. She has been having pains in her chest and aching and today complained of having a headache. Am I right in thinking I need to start initiating further care for her? The GP came in and wasn't sure how to diagnose what was happening to her and said she had a rumbling in her lungs, which is normal for her as only the top half of her lungs are taking in oxygen. 

1 like, 21 replies

21 Replies

Prev
  • dorsetdee
    dorsetdee

    Posted

    UPDATE ON MUM

    I believe mum is dying. For two days she was out of it in the daytime and became vocal at night but was talking to people who had died, was praying or singing. She has been talking to people who are not there and has been wetting the bed with perspiration. She hadn't been eating but drinking small amounts or maybe manage some soup. As her daughter arrived with her family the nurse had just arrived and I broke down when she asked me how mum was. She was hardly responsive but woke up when she heard the nurse then drifted off again. We call 111 and had a doctor come out and prescribe a 'just in case' pack. At 6pm the doctor came and at that mum again woke up. He asked her if she knew what was happening and she said "Yes, I'm going home to be with the Lord" and then drifted off again. She woke up a little to talk to the family and everyone was crying and upset as it came on within two days and for two nights we hardly slept as she sang and talked loudly. That evening around 10pm she woke up and started talking to her daughter. She has stayed over with us and mum has sparked up again. I've been checking her oxygen levels and they dropped to 83 on resting with oxygen on 2.5 so we upped it to 3 and the oxygen in her blood came up to 92, which is more like it. We're exhausted and don't know if this is it. Has anyone experience of this? We're getting help from tomorrow as I've been caring for her alone. She's not able to get out of bed to sit on the commode without help and she's a bit of a dead weight now and very wobbly. I tried cutting off her incontinence pants today and put some on but bless her she just wet the bed as she's no control on her bladder at all. We had no choice but to get her out of bed then and change her sheets. Her bed sore cream came off when being moved and I gave up knowing the nurse would be coming tomorrow to see to this. We put her on the portable oxygen which is set to 4 L per min so she could get her breath whilst sat out of bed. She tired very quickly and we put her back into bed. She's 85 and has COPD from suffering with asthma from the age of 4. Only the top half of her lungs have been functioning for some years. She also has a heart condition. She's off her oral meds now. Any guidance would help me. 

    • hanb
      hanb dorsetdee

      Posted

      Dear dorsetdee, I'm so sorry you're still struggling alone. You must be exhausted. 

      This sounds similar to our situation for a number of days before our loss. No food, few fluids, sudden incontinence, drifting in and out, mostly out. 

      Who is coming to help tomorrow? Do you know if she is in pain or discomfort? Dependent on who is coming, they should manage the incontinence, come in regularly to change and wash her, they may bring in a hospital bed, especially if her bed is not a good height, and should be able to advise you about care and how to access further help if necessary, whether that be from another team or support from prescribing doctor. 

      Love, light and hugs, hanb

    • dorsetdee
      dorsetdee hanb

      Posted

      Very many thanks hanb... a lovely district nurse is setting up help with someone coming in to wash mum for me and hopefully sort the bed sore too. She isn't in any pain but did say today her tongue is so dry. I saw online that hospices use something on the tongues of patients to ensure they don't dry out so I will ask about that tomorrow. I moved a bed into mum's room and her daughter is in there with her. She has kept mum awake in the day by chatting with her. I've noticed mum has started getting confused again what if it is morning or evening. We asked about a cathetar and I'm going to push for this now as she is at end of life stage. My own feeling is that she has rallied around because of spending time with Lindsey, her daughter. Our church are praying for her and us and I'm hoping this doesn't last long. She is at peace about her mortality ... it is the emotional turmoil of seeing her struggle and with us not knowing how or when it will end for her. We are praying she slips peacefully and painfree in her sleep and that her son (my hubby) and daughter feel their time wasn't robbed by her slipping away as she seemed to have been only a day ago!
    • ladyjack51
      ladyjack51 dorsetdee

      Posted

      Hi dorsetdee, 

      I believe you already know that your mom is nearing the end of her struggle. My heart goes out to you as I can read and hear the sadness and desperation in your words. This must be so hard on you and all the family...but mostly you since you seem to be with her most of the time.  Its such a long drawn out thing and it tires everyone out.  And at the same time, you don't really want her to go. My prayers are going up for you. When her blood pressure begins to slowly start dropping...you will know to call everyone. And most likely you will hear some noise or rattling in her lungs when they listen to her chest as she will begin to fill with fluid most likely. That's enough from me. God bless you...I'm here if you need to talk. She will be healed and pain free when she goes so I hope none of you suffer too much longer. Best of all, she will be your Guardian Angel when she's gone!!   Sincerely....ladyjack51

  • denise68087
    denise68087 dorsetdee

    Posted

    Hi all,

    my mom finally lost her battle on Monday with end stage copd. After 8 months. She stopped eating and drink on wed. That's when she was in transition. She developed terminal agitation the from fri to Sunday. Screaming all day and night, Sunday she woke and was able to sit up and laugh and talk all day. Monday morning in the wee hours she was gone. God bless my mom.

Back to top
Prev

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.