Isolation and Loneliness

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I have logged on here to try and make sense of how I am feeling and as I am feeling anxious, stressed, lonely, upset and am actually hiding in the offce at my work I really don't know what to do.  I lone work in a public library which is kiling me, I hate the isolation and have spoken to my boss's who know about my depression history but I feel my word are being shunned and I feel like a nuisance.  Being here on my own really gets me down, as we are a very quiet library which as little as 5 or 6 customers a day.  I am currently sitting in my office away from the windows and feeling so uptight and nervous (so hard to explain).  Can anyone help me? What options do I have.....otherwise I am seriously going to go out of my mind.  I want this pain to tend.

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  • Posted

    think u need to see doc ask for somthing the help with your anxierty and maybe the depression side as well,ive been were you are and medication does help ,might take a few weeks to lick in tho
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  • Posted

    Gillian,

    First I am sorry you are feeling these things.

    It didn't say if you have seen a doctor or are currently getting treatment. If you haven't, please do.

    As far as your job. I can empathize with you. That does sound like a lonely job. I have had jobs where I don't see or talk to any one all day and when I would occasionally see someone it would be very superficial. I came to the realization that that job wasn't for me. I don't know what your options are but if you have the option look for something that is more social. If you normally love the job and it is just recently with these feelings that the job isn't tolerable then get help if you haven't. Making rash decisions is never typically a good thing.

    Take care

    B

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  • Posted

    There's a good website for people who feel lonely - Web of Loneliness.  There are different types of forums where people can chat or write about their feelings.  It really helped my friend who feels the same way you do.

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  • Posted

    Hi Gillian,

    I can relate to your situation as I have worked in libraries (academic, public, medical) all my life and they can be very quiet places. I spent a summer alone in a college library and almost went stir-crazy with loneliness! In later years, I worked occasionally in a small hospital library where I could go the whole day without seeing a customer. I was suffering depression at the time and being alone with your thoughts can be really difficult. I always tried to have a few projects on the go as my mind struggled to concentrate on any one thing for too long. I'm sorry your manager is not taking you seriously. I'm assuming you are a part of a larger network and have colleagues who you don't see but work in nearby libraries. Even if you could have a regular job-swap on a rota basis with colleagues who work in a less isolated environment, that would be an improvement. Do you have an Occupational Health dept where you work? If your manager is not taking your health situation seriously, your employer has a strict responsibility to do so. You could ask for a referral. I know it's tricky in a library situation, but could you distract yourself with some soft music and ear-phones while you are alone in the office (not loud enough to disturb customers or not be able to hear the phone if it rang). Just something that would help soothe you. I have a friend who always listens to classical music when she needs to concentrate on something at work ;-)

    I hope that you have made it through this experience today but I know we need to find a resolution to help you in the longterm. Is there anything good happening in your life at the moment? How are your children? Please keep in touch. You are not alone. Next time you feel like this at work, don't be afraid to ring the Samaritans so that you can talk to a friendly person and hear some reassurance. Sending you a BIG hug xx

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    • Posted

      Sorry I have been offline for for a few days.  Its very isolating and had a terrible few days.  I had a chat with my boss yesterday who cannot help me at present as there is no other place to put me just now.  If I need to chat she on the other end of the phone.  I have opted to go to Occupational Health as I can't go on like this.  I get nervous when I really need to see a doctor and get so worked up that I don't end up going in fear off how he will judge me.   I had my fluoxetine put up to 40mg a few months ago but really find I'm constantly down and only seeing the worst in everything.  I don't want the world to look so bleak.  I have two beautiful kids, 19 & 16, my daughter is just out of surgery a few weeks ago from hip surgery which has ended her career in the RAF.  I feel so responsible as its something that should have been picked up when she was a little girl.   My son is a gentle soul and I see so much of me in him which frightens me, I want them both to enjoy life and experience so much and not be afraid of anything, not like me, depressed and lonely.  I'm afraid that they will end up like me, miserable!! I try to put my best face on in front of them but its hard.  I'm hoping this phase will pass as it has done before but its really not a nice place to be right now.

      Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate that.

      Gillian xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Gillian,

      I'm getting the distinct impression that if something doesn't change in your life then your distress is just going to remain (or get worse). That's not meant to scare you! I'm suggesting that you maybe need a break from work (i.e. sick leave or holiday). I think OH would support this break as your emotional distress really is intolerable. It sounds as if you could do with some quality time with your children. Please don't blame yourself for things that have happened in the past. You sound like a wonderful, loving mother who wants the best for her children. Please also try not to project your fears onto them ;-)

      As you have said, things have improved for you before and they will again - I am certain. You need to give yourself more credit for your strength and resilience. Please give yourself a pat on the back each day and tell yourself something good. Make a list of positive mantras to give you a confidence boost. Pin them up where you can see them every day if you think you might forget them. Get into the habit of soothing your own "gentle soul". Let me know how things are progressing. Take care xx

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