It's been 5 days
Posted , 3 users are following.
I couldn't begin to explain my thoughts about this. It's not 100% that I may have herpes but I've been tested. Wednesday the 25th that morning I took a shower using different soap. That night I got irratated (I am allergic to everything) my boyfriend felt terrible because of the discomfort I was in. I showered the next day using my regular soap and shaved. That night I felt a tingly pain and decided to have a look. I have two sores on one side and one on the other and those spots are where I was rougher than usual on when shaving. So now I'm like is it a cut that got infected and is trying to heel and became a sore because I am VERY VERY swollen on one side which is the side I have the sores on. At this point I was mainly in discomfort when I had to pee, then it became when I was trying to sit, but once I sat down I was fine no pain but when I had to get up hello pain. The weird thing was I have my period and where I guess I cut myself my underwear kept sticking to that area so I would pull my underwear off it felt like I reopened a cut and resorted to pads since it doesn't happen. I went last night Monday to get checked by planned parenthood and they were so extremely nice and helpful she explained to me what she was testing me for which was herpes and what's cold a wound culture as well including EVERYTHING else. The nurse even said it does look like multiple cuts that are trying to heel as if I used a old razor or was too rough, which I'm hoping that's the case because I don't think my boyfriend will be too pleased if I need to explain to him that I have herpes.
I have been so upset these passed 5 days I've barely eaten and I have some what slept thank goodness. I had an odd pain in my butt that does go away. I feel so dirty that I might've gotten herpes and trying to cope with it even though I don't know if I definitely have it but I think I do. I don't even know how to go about telling my partner that I might have this. This literally will be crumbling my world into pieces after just losing my stepdad whose been with me for 16 years a couple months ago. My life is a wreck.
0 likes, 11 replies
Itslife
Posted
Now since I'm wearing a pad I don't know if that is making the irratation worse (like when a pad is used for too long) I change it every 4 hours .. should I change it every 2 hours? Thank you to everyone I'm glad I'm not alone on this
ashlyn26137 Itslife
Posted
I would tell your partner because then you'll find out if he truly loves you depending if he leaves or stays that's how I found out if mine did but he didn't stay but there are plenty of men out there who has it or doesn't care that if you have it from my experience I could easily find someone if I want but I just don't at the moment plus your partner could have it to just doesn't know it or just doesn't say anything, I have herpes type 2 but I still wear a pad the same time I normally would but valtrex helps a lot.
Itslife ashlyn26137
Posted
I know I have to tell him. I get my results back on Thursday which is the day I'll be seeing him so I'll tell him then. There is men out there that don't care?! I feel like I'll never find someone if my boyfriend now is not okay with it. It's so upsetting right now I just want to cry. I haven't taken any medicine yet because I don't know what it is exactly yet.
FelizCastus Itslife
Posted
The best thing is to wait for the results, then take it from there. Don't feel dirty or bad about telling your bf. There's a strong chance he was the one who gave it to you! If it is herpes, you should advise him to do the type-specific IgG antibody test for herpes.
Itslife FelizCastus
Posted
I trying to stay positive as much as I can but I can't help but feel dirty gross every word out there. I'm literally sitting here crying while typing it's so sad. I sit in my truck and talk to myself about it. I'm honestly afraid of never having a normal sex life again. There's always going to be a risk (I know there always was with someone new) but now who ever has sex with me can possibly get it. I don't want anyone touching me, I'm so upset with myself and I know that's the worst thing to do. I know I shouldn't put myself down but I guess because it's all so new and I can possibly have it I'm not sure how to handle it.
Everyone here has been so supportive, how do you stay supportive?!
I'm probably one of the least confident people out there. I find myself somewhat "pretty" but I'm always hard on myself to begin with "my stomach can be flatter" "I have cellulite on my thighs" this that and the third so now that I may have gotten herpes just makes me ten times harder on myself. As if I get another outbreak what am I doing wrong that I got another one and that's all I'll think about
ashlyn26137 Itslife
Posted
Yes some don't care I've had a few that still would of been with me but after finding out I have herpes I have even more trust issues then I had to begin with they were already bad, if I have sex with someone who is hiv positive I am more likely to get it before i didn't have it I feel betrayed and you have to try and stay positive I'm not all the time either I get suicidal thoughts since I was diagnosed with it and get severe depression no one knows about, but I try to stay positive again.
Itslife ashlyn26137
Posted
Just hearing that some guys don't care (well reading) gives me a little hope. I'm not a positive person to begin with so it's really hard. No one knows about this with me . I'm too scared and nervous to tell anyone right now. I'm afraid people will judge. I know it's so sad people do. I try my best to look on the brighter side but right now that's not really working. Maybe once I get my results I'll be more accepting if I have it
ashlyn26137 Itslife
Posted
If you do have it you don't have to tell everyone either just guys who you'll sleep with in the future you should tell you can tell everyone if you want it's up to you just expect to lose a few people I told everyone but I'm finding out who my real friends are
Itslife ashlyn26137
Posted
I will not be telling everyone that's for sure. People where I live are very judgmental its so sad. I don't mind loosing people thats the last thing I'm worried about.
The only thing I find weird is im only uncomfortable when I first wake up through half the day then I'm fine! I'm on no medicine, Ive just been washing the outside of my labia and right on top then I use witch hazel three times a day i wipe the outside of the labia and dab the inside, it stings for a split second. I swear witch hazel is s miracle I've never used it before either.
FelizCastus Itslife
Posted
You will adapt, things will ease up, and you will be back to your regular self in time. The key word here is time. Coming to terms with the diagnosis is an adjustment, and it may feel impossible now, but you really will get over the worst feelings. Taking a proactive stance regarding your own health and fitness can help, too, both from a physical and emotional perspective. But you don't even know for sure if you have it, so this could be jumping the gun. Better wait for your results first!
Itslife FelizCastus
Posted
That's my thing. I jump the gun and expect the worst this way if it comes down to it and I do have it I'm prepared and well knowledgeable about it. Even if I don't have it I'm still well aware of it and know about it. Only problem is I cause my self so much stress before it. Which isn't helpful so I'm trying to remain calm.