It's my Birthday and I'll cry if I want to..... :-(

Posted , 11 users are following.

Well today is my Birthday and I'm now 51, it should be a happy day for me but considering the hormone / mood rollercoaster ride from hell I fell that I'm on at the moment all I want to do is cry for no apparent reason...There are a few other things going on in my life at the moment and I guess with the perimenopause on top of everything else I can see the cracks of depression starting to appear...and I've been on the depression trail once before, not a nice place to be to say the least. Maybe I need a hobby or better yet a job, something to keep my mind active and not focussing on the negative stuff that's going on but sometimes just beng positive just doesn't cut it... I just feel kind of empty & lost like I'm in limbo and I don't know if this feeling is going to go away or it's just the way it's going to be...gotta love perimenopause...NOT! does any of this make sense? Rant over.

Take care everyone.

Anna

1 like, 15 replies

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15 Replies

  • Posted

    you are not alone!!!! One of the joys of hormones being messed up. I have found help with this website, as well as checking out the Swarztbein Principle (Menopause Power) very informative also. I started on bio identical hormones as I just could not stand it anymore. Felt like I was going crazy. Off balance, couldn't think, crying, irratable, couldn't sleep, hot flashes..... I have been being helped with the bio identicals. I  took a saliva test that showed where I was off balance, and then since then have been trying to get back in balance. Things are not perfect but way better. Hope you can find someone where you live that can help. Our hormones being messed up can cause so many issues. I had no idea, and thought I had some dread disease when I first started into the trip at 51, I am now 55. Take care, and hold on. Corrinn

     

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  • Posted

    And even if it is not the greatest day, I am sending you a birthday wish.
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  • Posted

    Hi Anna, sending you a birthday hug & despite this maddening hell, I do hope you manage a pleasant day for your birthday. I'm nearly 56, this meno upheaval is so tough! I get terrible anxiety with floods of tears, shakes, spikes in BP with flushing & feel almost deathly ill, I know how you feel. I have been told that everything can reach a climax becoming worse/more intense before it all subsides & settles....have you or any other ladies heard of this?

    Thinking of you. 

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  • Posted

    i recently had a total hysterectomy after years of painful periods due to adenomyosis, confirmed on biopsy.  prior to that i had 2 very severe attacks of panic back in february this year.  my stomach was also acting up (had an ulcer), so i changed my diet:  cut out bread, pasta and sugar, and added good fats (coconut oil and nuts).   i started taking supplements:  evening primrose (4000mg per day), vitamin e, fish oil (4000mg per day), b complex, vitamin c, biotin, and coq10...  along with losing 40#, i also started lessening my night sweats (just sweat between breasts) and light flushing during the day became rare.  i continued to take these supplements and follow this diet through to my surgery 2 weeks ago.  i was put into instant menopause that day and in 2 weeks post surgery i have had very light symptoms of menopause, just like before surgery.  i kept waiting for the drenching night sweats, mood swings and hot flashes.    the doctor said that if i hadn't experienced that already i probably won't have anything more severe.  she says my diet and supplements are a huge help to me in this and to keep it up.   if you haven't cut these things from your diet, and added supplements maybe give it a try.   good luck to you.  smile
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    • Posted

      I agree with the diet ,and supplements even with having no more horrible hot flashes since being on bio identical hormones, I still feel way better if eating right, and keeping up on my supps.
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  • Posted

    I'm all for anti-depressants.  Sorry but I've had depression but not like I did a month ago.  It was horrible!!  Heavy bleed, ablation and then moods...OMG. Start seeing a thapist who can prescribe meds is my advice. It doesn't mean that yoga, exericse and healty eating aren't important.  It means you have to do it all.   All supervised by a doctor.  That is what they are their for, your health. Make them work for it.  You deserve to be taken care of, demand it.

     

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  • Posted

    Morning Anna

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you !!  

    Go into the Kitchen, put some music on while making coffee, and DANCE LIKE NOBODY'S WATCHING,  silly, yes but it works   hahahacheesygrin

    You need to get some anti depresants or at least some enxiety meds to help with the mood swings and the feeling like you want to kill somebody or just lock yourself up in your room and be alone....  Just hang in there ok,

    May your day be blessed and Magical day,  (hope somebody spoils you) 

    razzbiggrin

     

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  • Posted

    Happy Birthday Anna wishing you the best day that you can have...I think you are right, you need to keep your mind active to stop focusing on the hormonal crap, its very hard to do at times, well most of the time but it can be done, small steps...yep I felt empty, lost and felt I had no purpose for a long time, slowly getting over it though...I have never had depression till 2 years ago but it hit badly about 10 months after last period, still fighting it but not as bad as it was.  For me AD's made the depression and anxiety worse, though I was calmer about everything I was getting terrible thoughts and depressed in a quiet way, its hard to explain.  I am alot better after coming of the AD's so will just soldier on with Vitamin D..In time things will improve, for some of us this is a really slow process it seems, totally not the way I thought menopause would happen.  Guess the bottom line is you have to do what is right for you and what makes you feel better, whether it is HRT, Bio-Identicals, AD's, Vitamins, Diet changes or just put up with the nightmare, what works for some doesnt work for everyone...You will get through this we all will just not quick enough for most of us...enjoy your day, keep happy thoughts and take care of yourself...big birthday hugs...Jo xxx 
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  • Posted

    Hi Anna, Happy Birthday!

    You are exactly 4 weeks younger than me!

    I can fully sympathise with what you are going through - I am still regular as clockwork and my period started 2 days ago. Didn't get the awful anger / depression last week like I normally do, but I am currently feeling very sick and shaky, as I was yesterday m orning.

    I have spent several years feeling useless and worthless (self employed at home) so I jumped at the chance of a temporary part-time job close to home. However, it is scaring the proverbial out of me! It is so complex and has so much responsibility and I constantly doubt myself (even though my employer left a message to say that I was doing well and to keep it up).

    Yesterday morning I was so shaky at work and I had a sudden dizzy spell where I had to grab the furniture to steady myself. It was instantly followed by a tide of heat and feeling very sick, and the feelings lasted all morning. The bones in my feet hurt too! Had some issues to deal with yesterday that I hadn't had before, and one customer was very abrupt and walked off before I could find what she wanted - so that added to my useless feelings! I need to be able to give myself a pep talk but I am constantly doubting my abilities to do this job correctly!

    Feel very sick now as I get ready to leave for work, but I am full of sympathy for you - but you are not alone in this awful peri rollercoaster! I hope your day improves - try and be kind to yourself.

    Big hugs x

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  • Posted

    Happy Birthday Anna

    Just remember 'this too will pass for everything surely does'.  I know you will find a way to be happy again.  I had a day of wallowing in menomisery earlier this week, achieved nothing but made me feel worse.  I'm trying to be positive again, take my supps and find a way to put me higher up the priority list without being mean.

     

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  • Posted

    Hi Ladies,

    Just wanted to say a big thankyou for my Birthday wishes and your words of support. AApologies for not getting back to you sooner but I have been pretty crook with the flu and I'm only just getting back on my feet.

    At the moment I don't feel that bad, maybe I'm on the low end of the Peri coaster ride and things are manageable... I'm on the evening primrose oil, fish oil & vitamin E for my skin, taking St John's Wort for the anxiety/ depression/ mood swings and of course Mutivitamins for over 50's...if I take many more tablets I'll start to rattle lol

    So just wanted you all to know that it made me feel loved by your words of support, it meant alot to me.

    Hope this message finds you all well, take care & be kind to yourselves.

    Anna x

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  • Posted

    hi have any of you ladies just feel like something bad is going to happen to you i went to the doctors today my blood pressure was a little bit up but i made the mistake of drinking coffee before i went and as soon as he told me about my blood pressure here comes the anxiety lord all day now i feel cloudy headed tight just feeling over all gloomy always thinking negative as well please share with me if anyone is going through this as well im feeling alone right now
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