It's time to lose weight, but I don't know how

Posted , 6 users are following.

This discussion has been locked due to a period of inactivity. Start a new discussion

I'm really fat, and I want to do something about it.

I was sexually and mentally abused as a child and started comfort eating from back then. I don't want to have to make excuses, but I trace my weight problems back to this.

I put on even more weight when I was prescribed the pill from age 13 for periods so bad that I had to take around a week off school each month. I have also taken corticosteroids for many years due to health problems. 

I've been to see counsellors about my issues, but I actually don't find them helpful.  I find it really hard to motivate myself to diet as I find that when I do try and diet, I very easily slip back into clincal depression, which I have suffered with since I was 11. Also, I find that to even lose a pound, I really have to cut my calories and exercise. So I will try really hard to find that it's made barely any difference. 

Please any ideas would be welcome...

Is there anyone out there that has managed to overcome these issues and lost weight?


2 likes, 7 replies


7 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Eleni

    I'm very large too. After having my second child I got lupus in childbirth and my joints hurt to such extent that I couldn't even lift him at times to nurse him.

    Due to this lack of mobility I put on a lot of weight over the last 14 years and suffered a lot of other health problems.

    Its not easy to lose it. I can fully understand how you feel.

    I tried the Cambridge at one point and succeeded for a while (lost 13lb in first week then slowed down) but was costly.

    I had a gastric band fitted 3 years ago but had problems with it which have just last month been resolved. So I hope I might start losing some weight now.

    Its really difficult to find something that suits and works for you.

    I wish you all the luck possible to achieving a new you :D

    • Posted

      Thanks for your reply.

      Yes, I had a positive test for the lupus anticoagulant, but didn't pursue further tests. I definitely think I have some autoimmune condition still to be diagnosed.  My mother has lupus, my sister has an autoimmune disease too. I struggle with my joints a lot, and often my whole body becomes covered in hives without warning, and I feel that my depression is probably linked to this too. Suffering from IBS and severeal food sensitivities there are a lot of healthy things that I can't eat too. Any legumes/pulses/nuts/seeds are off the menu, along with anything that contains high fibre... I really feel at my wits end...

  • Posted

    It seems to me, Elen27, that you are caught up in a perfect storm not of your own making. It is very difficult to step away from that canvas and to review your life objectively and dispassionately but it is not impossible. You have attributed your weight problems to your early experiences of abuse and have volunteered that you have suffered from clinical depression for a long time. Are you taking medication for that condition because some anti-depressants have been linked to weight gain. Corticosteroids are also implicated in weight gain. I am not sure what were your expectations of counselling. There are many modes of counselling some of which are more effective than others. It looks as if your problems are too difficult to solve on your own and rather than feeling isolated that you need some help. I doubt if there is a simple solution because of the complexity and possible interactions of your health issues. Is your doctor likely to be helpful? You have to start somewhere on your journey so I suggest that you write down a list of your health problems and make a long appointment with your doctor as a starting point. If you can, take a relative or friend with you and ask them to make notes. We often forget to ask the right questions. What you need is a skilled helper who can not only support you but also point you in the right direction to locate meaningful professional support.  You already know that it is not going to be easy so you need to kick this off as soon as you can. I hope that you find ways of moving to a better place emotionally.
    • Posted

      I've tried CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and just having a psych  sit and listen. The depression ruined my career in Britain, making me unable some mornings to get out of bed. I was taking Fluoxetine (4 a day) but actually it just made me sleep, and even on a reduced dose, I just felt numb and indifferent, rather than less depressed. I've fled the UK in the hopes that a temporary change of scene will do me some good. My mental health in general is a lot better, and rather than being in a constant low and having anxiety attacks, I seem to be much more stable.  However, if the tiniest thing goes wrong, I spiral downwards very quickly. I feel pathetic for feeling this way to be honest.  In Britain, with several doctors I was given the opinion. 'You have depression because of your weight - lose weight'. Which obviously I haven't found to be of much use to me. I think a list is a good idea, and I really hope that I can find some way through this. I enjoy swimming and have been twice this week, it's the only exercise that doesn't cause joint pains and swelling. 

      I really need to get tests for autoimmune conditions, but I'm almost too scared. I feel like I'm falling apart...

  • Posted

    Diagnosis of PCOS. that is thought to partially responsible and also standing in my way of weight loss. Ultrasound upcoming. 
    • Posted

      I feel for you! I am no stranger to mental physical and sexual abuse and I too have yo yo dieted the majority of my life. It is common that people whom have endured abuse have a tendency towards obseity. What happened to you is not your fault, and sadly some people take their very anger out on the innocent.

      reike has helped me immensely- maybe could be worth looking into.

      with love



  • Posted

    We delete content if it doesn’t meet the requirements in our Terms & Conditions.

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion

Report as inappropriate

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up