it seems

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That if people addicted to alcohol do not have a reason to stop drinking...it becomes very difficult to stop drinking.

​And I mean a reason that is threatening to that one persons life.  Not so much health related...although could be health related...Like If I were told...if you drink again....you will die...I might be able to NOT drink.

​I noticed with this income fear hanging over my head...I have been driven MORE not to drink...because it affects everything....my home...my bills....

​EVEN thou I did drink....I still feel if I keep it limited to this one slip while I'm being tested that I can pull thru this...or pull the wool over their eyes (maybe that is my Borderline Personality Disorder talking). 

​I mean...who in the mental state I am in could be told you owe a government 3000 (that you don't have)...and have to have a lung and stomach scan all in 2 days...along with fighting with my Mom and problems in relationship at home. Enough was enough for me.

​I mean wasn't it the therapists job when she mentioned that "I was all over the place" that last visit...to initiate a test for me the next day? To me it was pretty obvious I needed to calm down.

​Even the tax lady I went to see yesterday said you are alot calmer today than you were the other day...yea, lady...I'm beatin down by alcohol....the other day I was 75 days sober and completely out of my mind.

​But, because of this test holding over my head...I am able to not drink today or yesterday.  I don't think I could have done it if so much wasn't at stake for me.

​In the past, I've had the threats of being cut off by family..but since I'm sometimes antisocial...i didn't really care...that didn't really affect me honestly.

​How do I say this gently? It seems most of us that drink on here...for the most part...yes, have upset family members...but its not really hitting the spot that we need it to...to make us quit.....my boyfriend was upset for 2 years that I was drinking...but that wasn't enough...and he was going to get my booze when I was unable to.....I needed something to hit home or my pocket.

 

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    Oh missy , sounds like you are suffering so much.

    I know im new here so I dont know how it really works, but I just wish I could reach out and give you a hug.

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    • Posted

      hi pamabo..anyone that is on these boards seems to suffer...its all with what comes with drinking.  I did not drink today or yesterday...feeling better...thank you smile
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  • Posted

    I always said I would give up drinking when it was damaging my health.I have lots of symptoms now,a cough all the time and I've never smoked,change in colour,dark circles under my eyes,I very recent rash on a lot of my body,itchy eyes and a few more......

    But.....my bloods keep coming back ok so I carry on drinking

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    • Posted

      I was like you for a long time..every appointment I was fine...it only started to hit me about 10 years ago when my blood pressure became consistently high...age gets to us after a while......And that was one of the times I quit for a long time...to stop my blood pressure from climbing.
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    • Posted

      My blood pressure was high when I saw the doc last week so in the 25th I'm having a 24hour monitor fitted to see what it's like when I'm at home ect
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    • Posted

      Hm...that was the first sign that alcohol was affecting my health....my blood pressure.  And when I first stopped drinking it was sky high.  It came down to normal after a month.

       

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  • Posted

    I have been following this forum for many months now,and think it has helped me,comments like" your liver has no nerve endings,so you don't feel pain" and alcohol is the second most common causes of cancer,but I live alone,and affect no one else,and I manage to completely cut down for say a week,but for relaxation,and proper sleep,I revert back to half bottle of vodka a day,I don't start drinking until nearer 9pm and not working at present,lost my mum a month ago,I want to look after my health,but I need the comfort I get from the bottle.
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    • Posted

      Hi angela...your Mom sad....

      Actually they have proven that although alcohol does seem to give us restful sleep it is really not restful sleep.

      ​The sleep cycle fixes itself after a time of not drinking. I will say that when I had the 75 days this past couple of months I was finally sleeping better than ever...but it did take a month to get there. 

      ​I understand the comfort from the bottle too.  I had a lady tell me how calm I was the other day compared to a previous visit I had with her and that was becaues there was alcohol in my system.  Without it...I am on edge all the time. 

      ​Your going thru a rough time and using the bottle may be helping you right now...just keep in mind everything you said...you have been reading and you know the devestating effects alcohol can have on our bodies....hopefully, you will be able to stop someday.

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  • Posted

    Hi Missy thank you for your words of wisdom,and support,and sound advice,I will heed it,soon,yes very soon,at least I know,like you,we all need willpower,thankful we can encourage each other,xxx
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    • Posted

      Your welcome...just take care of yourself with your Mums loss...too....if you don't that will just make your drinking worse.

      ​Go easy on yourself..your human....you will do this...I wanted to do it so bad when my Nana was alive..and never did...I loved her more than anything...so its not ABOUT that....its about being ready.

      ​Hopefully we all are ready before we reach too much havoc on our own bodies.

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