its getting closer

Please don't end your life.i know everyday is a struggle and you have to fight everyday to keep well.suicide is a permanent solution to a solvable problem.i know you won't believe that and that all you want is peace.you have a daughter and even if you are I'll it won't stop her loving you.think about her and how much she loves her daddy.

Hi Paul, you've had some loving advice, stop and listen. When I was in my 30s I suffered such a hellish depression all I could think of was death. I wanted it so much to stop the excruciating pain of it.I could hardly bare it any longer. I drank whisky in large doeses and desided to end it all. My young daughter found me and had me hospitalized, I am so glad she did, I still get depressed but I have two grandchildren now. I so glad I got help and didn't take my life. Get help go to you A&E or your GP you can get through this you can and will.

Paul I don't know what your actual intentions are but I can guess. My answer is don't. Please please speak to the Samaritans. How do you think your little girl would feel if she couldn't see daddy anymore. If you do anything stupid then you would be being very selfish when it comes to your little girl....of course she has her life to live but don't you think she would want her daddy to be a part of it. Think carefully about what you do but speak to the SAMARITANS please. You owe it to your little girl at least.

hey guys, thanks for the messages. wow it means a lot to read these from complete strangers considering we all have our problems. this mornin i signed up for an online course on CBT which is free in Scotland so i am gonna give this a try. its a 6 week course, all online and we dont have to talk, which have a real problem with. i could write for days cos i hide behind my true identity. i am trullly humbled by all your messages. thank you xx

hey guys, just an update, been another week from hell. ended up in jail, hospital 3 times. my street was cordoned off in 3 directions due to my mental state. police broke into my flat and tasered me as i was trashing my flat, there was a crowd outside all watching in anticipation thinking that a private ambulance would turn up, 2 of of my neighbours broke through the police tape when they seen the paramedics leave my house without me, they feared the worst. a few minutes later i was carried out by 5 police and carted off to jail. i had to go to hosp to recover from the taser then up in front of a judge in court. all charges were dropped as the judge deemed my mental health would only deteriorate if i was faced with jail or fines. so now i have been home an slept for a few hours but my mind is still very troubled, and my body is aching all over from various bruises with fighting with the police. i read a few posts earlier about how loneliness is destroying people and they are not wrong. i too am alone and i was releasedd into the care of a friend but its too easy to tell them you are fine,,,,,,there is not enough follow up support for mental health.....how can we do this x 

well after the news today,,,,the time has come....door is blocked.....i tried to hang on for my girl but her mum just told me in in no uncertain terms that i cant see her again....so much for easter.....the tears rolling down my face, the anxiety i am feeling, the hatred for myself. the feeling that she will nbe better off without her dad....it makes sense...a moke an a beer for the road. look after yourself guys....we suffer but we are who were....genuine people....god bless x

Hi Paul. I wrote to you earlier asking you to think about how your actions will affect your daughter. What has happened since that post only goes to prove that for whatever reason you are out of control. What on earth does trashing your flat and getting yourself tasered have to do with improving things so that you don't get cut off from your daughter. Whatever has happened between her mum and you in the past only goes to show that you can't be trusted with your daughter alone. You really have got to get some help and you really have to show that you want to get better, better enough so that change can mean you can see your daughter be it for just an hour at a time and that her mum can be confident that you can be trusted with her. As I said before.....think about your daughter, how is she going to feel. Get help my friend and get it soon before all is lost. At the moment all is not lost, you just have to choose the right path. Progress will be slow but at the end of it you will be able to see your little girl again and as that is your greatest wish you would be a fool not to take the advice of the medical profession.