1. Community
  2. Infections
  3. Genital Herpes Simplex

Ive been depressed about this for 6 months feel frozen and sad

Posted , 4 users are following.

mary43533
mary43533

I was diagnosed with HSV1 6 months ago and have been in a major depression that I cant get out of.  I have tried counselling, am on medication, yet I have cut myself off from people.  I feel so ugly and worthless.  Worse thing is I have a child and it has affected my relationship whith him and his friendships as I cant face anyone.  I feel it has aged me so much and I just cant get out of this.  I dont even feel like me anymore.  Did anyone overcome this feeling of shame, worthlessness and self loathing?

0 likes, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • TLAN
    TLAN mary43533

    Posted

    Hi, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know how you feel, I feel exactly the same. I was diagnosed hsv1 in January. My life has changed since then. I don't see anyone, I just about take my children to their activities and avoid everyone.

    I've not slept properly, lost 3 stone. Everything you've said I feel the same. Can't believe there isn't a cure for this, I mean if it was anything else we'd have taken meds and be over it now. This thing I'm waiting all the time to see if anything is starting. Feel sick and it's constantly on my mind. Not had any further outbreak but having nerve pulsing feelings all the time so feel like something is about to happen.

    How about you? Anything else happened?

    My results went to my GP and she has been useless. I don't want to live like this and can't see my life ever being as it was.

  • kevin2016
    kevin2016 mary43533

    Posted

    I am going through the same feelings your not alone with this discussion. All I can do I do is keep faith and pray for a cure.my doctor tells me it just is what it is in so many words. Witch really don't help much. I don't kiss my kids anymore on the forehead I barley touch them and that's from me feeling as if I can pass it in anyway. I haven't had a real sleeping night since I found out I have this hv2 I wake up in the middle of every night for the last 3 months. I have found my self glue to the Internet looking for cures and have be very anti social lately. This can't be life I don't deserve this none of us do. I am trying to stay strong and take the med to prevent it but seems to me for some reason I still have pain when I have too use the bathroom,it feels like hemorrhoids but it's this herpes crap, yet for my doctor to tell me why I still feel this acing pain...believe me your the only one that feels stressed I honestly scared to meet ppl and even get to know them because I wouldn't want to pass this on to anybody at all anybody. Some ppl take this as just a skin disease. My doctor says I'm to dramatic and it's not that bad you can still do what you were doing before you been effected that's why i got another doctor. Nobody knows really anything about this std I want this pain to stop and I want to be able to hug my children again knowing I won't pass it.
  • herpesguy
    herpesguy mary43533

    Posted

    Mary (and Kevin and TLAN),

      I know what you are going through, seriously.  I was with the same person for 25 years.  We divorced and the VERY FIRST PERSON I WAS WITH AFTER GAVE ME GENTIAL HERPES!  How is that for bad luck??  Anyway, it took a little while but I put the whole thing in perspective:

    1)  It does not kill you

    2)  It does not debilitate you

    3)  It does nto shorten your life span or make you invalid or an idiot

    4)  You can still kiss your kids and hug them

    This virus is a nuisance.  That is all.  In the grand scheme of things, this is so minor, it is almost not worth worrying about.  We just need to be good, responsible people.  Tell your partners.  Don't have sex duing an outbreak (you won't want to anyway because of the pain that would cause).  Take care of yourself.  A weird thing is - I am healthier now than before I got herpes because I am taking better care of myself.  Being healthy helps keep your immune system strong and prevent outbreaks.  So I will probably actually live longer because of herpes.  I eat better, drink less and get more sleep.  I feel great.

    Oh, and my partner?  She has been TOTALLY supportive.  She says "you are still the same guy I love - so you have a virus that half the world has." 

    Trust me - this is really no big deal.  The worst part is in your head.  Control your mind and you will control this condition.  It's really that simple.

    My best of luck to you!

    • mary43533
      mary43533 herpesguy

      Posted

      Thanks. I know it is in mind but how do I change my mind. Also you are so lucky you have someone who loves you

      I think being single is the hardest part

    • herpesguy
      herpesguy mary43533

      Posted

      Mary,

        I do realise I am very lucky...  and I am very thankful.  But the first part of attracting someone is being attractive yourself.  Be confident and proud of who you are.  That is sexy.  If you feel like you are dirty and worthless, that's how people will treat you.  Tell yourself every day that you are strong and beautiful and that you have a lot to offer someone.  Your mind will slowly change and you will become those things because you will act that way.  And trust me...  people will notice and want to be with you.  No one wants to be with someone who is miserable and in self-pity all the time.  You can do it - I know you can.  Decide right now to change your mind.  Just try it.  What do you have to lose?

    • mary43533
      mary43533 herpesguy

      Posted

      Thanks for this. I really needed it! How long did it take for you to get to this place? How did you meet someone new?
    • herpesguy
      herpesguy mary43533

      Posted

      I go Wednesday to get my lab results but I already know what they are going to say...The woman I was with right after my divorce got a blood test and showed positive for HSV1 so I already know that is what it will be.  At first, I was angry and scared - like you.  But I sat my GF down, told her the whole thing... how it all happened...  and I was ready for her to walk out.  Instead she said, "well we will figure it out".  She has been great - you are right it does help to have someone who supports you.  But since you don't right now, you will just have to get yourself in a better place on your own so you can be that attractive, confident, sexy person that guys want to be with.  Do a new hairstyle, try a different shade of makeup, CARE ABOUT YOURSELF AND OTHER PEOPLE WILL TOO!  Please believe me that this works and you can do it.  My GF said "I want to be with you because you care about people and you make everyone around you feel good about themselves."  Which is true... but you have to feel good about yourself first.  Then care about others and they will just want to be near you.  And a stupid little virus is not going to change someone's mind when you make them feel so special and loved.  I know this sounds like crazy mumbo jumbo stuff but it really is true.  I promise.  Now go out there and show everyone how AWESOME YOU ARE!  :-)
    • herpesguy
      herpesguy mary43533

      Posted

      I am glad it helped... change your attitude and you will change your life.  I'll update you once I get my diagnosis but I don't think it will change anything.  I've already resigned to having it and just being the best person I can be with herpes.  No big deal.  TTYL.  :-) 
    • mary43533
      mary43533 herpesguy

      Posted

      Good on you. I have good days and bad days with it. The hardest part is the mental part, as I don't get OB just the feelings of shame and worthlessness that plague me.
Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.