ive just started on sertraline and feel very low

Goodness, i feel for you..

Everyone has there struggles trust me...

Anxiety can be debilitating . I know...

I too struggle everyday....

Dont be ashamed to have to be on meds.. Hopefully they will help...

You have alot going on & Im sure you dont have all the answers you want or need..I too would be terrified to leave. But maybe something new would benefit you.. I think sometimes we get stuck in our old routines & afraid of change & it could be something positive for you..

As for your mom I am not sure what to say about her.. Thats a tough one.. Maybe family will step up if she wont move..

Try not to beat yourself up..

Try to stay posotive, I have to keep telling myself the same thing.. Iol..

Everyday...

Best of luck...

Hi David,

I really feel for you having so much going on in your life at once. It would be overwhelming to most people so please try not to beat yourself up!

You have nothing to feel ashamed about and you are certainly not weak.

Now you have retired, you have a lot more thinking time on your hands. That can be dangerous when mood is low because we tend to dwell upon issues that would normally just niggle.

Perhaps this is the perfect time to try some new activities? Exercise is also great (although I realise it's probably the last thing you feel like!) You will get a lift after it though so it's worth pushing yourself.

It's totally understandable you are stressed by the situation your mum finds herself in and of course you feel responsible for her. You love her and she is integral to your life.

The medication will take a few weeks to start kicking in David so please try to be patient. I know that's much easier said than done!

Hopefully though, when it begins to work, it will help you see the woods from the trees.

What I would say, is avoid making any major life decisions until you feel better and be kind to yourself.

Good luck, C

You are not pathetic for feeling like this at your age. I am older and have been started on sertraline for depression.

hi david, i am male also, aged 42 and have had depression/anxiety since teens.  i used to hide it back then because it would have been embarrasing, humiliating and made me look weak etc.

luckily now i am older i have changed my attitude and am very open about it all with family and friends, plus we have the internet now and forums so it's great to chat online, do keep doing that rather than feeling alone, withdrawn, helpless and isolated. what i do myself is, for the very personal stuff like feeling vulnerable, weak, scared, fragile, or if there is any suicidal ideation going on with me, i just tell that stuff to my doctor, and some members of my family who i am close to, and also perhaps just one or two friends who i know i can talk to about that sort of thing.

for other people like more casual friends and work colleagues who i havn't known very long, or people who just dont get that mental health issues are very common and happen to both men and women, i just say to those people that i am feeling really unwell, and if they start to ask questions, i just say something like "oh, i've had some long-term health issues on and off for years now, but i'm working with my doctor etc to try to get back on my feet".

you simply choose how much detail you want to go into, for each particular person.   if the person keeps oushing and being nosey, then you just say "it's ok, don't worry about it", and just make a note for the future that, that person isn't the right type of person to chat about these things with, but it doesn't matter, because we all know lots of different people such as friends, family, and so on  (or even just similar people like us on the internet forums like this one.  it's all therapy for us, talking and recovering together, which we will all do, but in many cases simply need TIME).

you mentioned several things, such as moving to a different county, your mum's illness, your work, and other worries and so on.

i know it's very hard to think straight and rationally at the moment, but even so, maybe you can start to say to yourself, and continue to say to yourself, that the simple fact is, you are now in a position where you are not rationally capable of thinking straight, reasonably and normally about various things going on in your life.  obviously because of anxiety and depression,  everything you think of at the moment, perhaps even little things, are simply too much to deal with and process.

my advice is to do the sensible thing which is, to tell the people involved in your life, such as your partner (regarding the house and moving), your family/mum (regarding her illness), and if necessary any other people, that you are extremely unwell at the moment, but most importantly are taking steps to get better, but need time to get better, and currently, you simply cant cope with any kind of stress or decision making at the moment.

you can also mention that added stress, anxiety, worry, and so on, may make your recovery more difficult.  obviously nobody wants that, and all of your friends and family should respect that.  if they dont, then make a note of how badly they have responded to your requests, and then just try to avoid contact with those people until you feel better, because some people just cant understand and accept depression, anxiety and mental health issues.  so let's make that their problem, not ours.  simple.

if you can start to think in this way i am talking about above (it doesn't have to be right away, just try and make it happen slowly, if you can).. then, your recovery will be less of a strain won't it, because the people around you (who i'm sure you will find to be very understanding), will accept and realise that you need to take it easy for a while, rest, relax, and recover.

don't worry, it doesn't mean you are now not going to do anything at all with yourself.  you can of course say to some of the people, or all of them (if you feel up to it):  "i will try and help and be useful as much as i can though, but can't be too specific about that at the moment because my overall health is currently going up and down"

anyway i hope there is something useful here for you, it is very early on in your sertraline treatment so there's certainly no need at all to worry that sertraline isn't working or it's the wrong med for you.  just keep going as you are for a few more weeks, taking it at the same time each day, every day.  as you go along in your treatment and recovery, you can make adjustments such as what time of the day suits you better to take the sertraline, and dose adjustments if necessary.  it seems to be quite common that people settle on a daily dose of between 50mg up to 150mg, but you also get some people who settle on less than 50mg due to being quite sensitive to certain medications such as sertraline (so perhaps they have a lot of side effects going on even with a 50mg dose, so end up doing better on perhaps 25mg.   and of course you get the people at the other end of the scale, who take 200mg daily, because taking less they found perhaps that sertraline didn't seem to be doing anything at lower doses.  by 'not doing anything', i mean, they tried the lower doses first for a few months, and didn;t see much improvement there, but importantly, also did not have bad side effects.   so that means they can go up in dose and try again.  obviously if u have bad side effects going on at a certain dose, then it may not be wise to increase your dose at that time, as it may make you side effect worse.  usually though side effects clear up eventually (for example, for the first couple of months of sertraline treatment, i had reduced sex drive.. but now i'm fine and all back to normal now).

ok anyway i'm probably jumping ahead a bit now with talking about the different doses and side effects, timescales, and so on.   you are just starting out in the recovery dave, and 50mg of course is the recommended amount to start on, so you are doing everything right so far.  just keep going ok, take sertraline each day, same time of day if possible or close.

keep talking; you can always chat here on this forum, it's hard to believe others here could possibly feel as bad as u do, but take my word for it, we have, and with regards to myself, in the past i have had the extreme episodes of depression and anxiety where it got to the point where i was suicidal and pretty much neither felt i was human, or part of reality anymore.  it was awful as you can imagine, but i kept going, and am now totally well again and doing fine (well apart from some problems with some pain pills i took recently, but i saw my doctor today and he says i should be ok in a couple of days).

ps.  aargh once again i've typed so much!  i tend to that, anyway, maybe someone read down this far...

the most important thing dave:   keep talking to your doctor (there's nothing you can say which they havn't heard already, trust me),  and talk to friends and family, and of course use the forums here as often or not as you like, where you will find people who turn out to be just like you, who have had the same problems (or are experiencing the same problems), and go along and make really great recoveries (i know that sounds impossible at the moment,  but it really really isn't, i can't say it enough)