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ivf with donor egg

Posted , 11 users are following.

regiNA17
regiNA17

Hello, hope for your help. I’m stuck, have no idea what to do. I’m 32, married, no kids. I was diagnosed with PCOS last year. Of course it was a shocking ‘news’. We were ttc for a long time. We’ve been dreaming about having children for 8 years already. But my doctor told me about medical treatment, that medicines will help and I have all chances to get pregnant. We put all our hope in this treatment. I spent one year in clinics, buying pills and other stuff. We spent so much nerves and money on this. Unfortunately no result. Only now I understand, that everything is not that easy as I thought. I really believed that I will be that lucky one, who get pregnant thanks to treatment. I can’t understand, why me? What have I done to deserve this. I’ve read so many stories about successful treatment. I’m happy for those women, but it makes me so sad nothing helped me… There are so many reports in the news about women, who throw their new born babies out. I personally know a couple of women, who made an abortion and not once. I’m not judging in no case! Different situation can happen in life. I’m just asking why God gives them children they don't want? And here I am, who wants to have kids more then anybody else, but I can’t. I don’t mean to be rude. I just have all this feelings and thoughts inside… They don’t let me live happily. I can’t accept childless life. My doctor told me, that my only chance to become a mother is ivf with donor egg. I have no idea about this procedure. Where should I look for donor egg? Will it be ok to carry someone else’s child? Will I love this baby? I have so many doubts! Girls, please, help me to figure it out… 

0 likes, 22 replies

22 Replies

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  • NaiNai84
    NaiNai84 regiNA17

    Posted

    Hello regiNA17,

    I completely understand your pain. I am 32 years old, no kids but i really want one. Have you tried metformin during your treatment? The doc put me on it last year but i quit taking it after about 2 weeks since it made me sick. I started it again in January but i am not going to get my hopes up because I'm tired of the let down. Are you ovulating? I have read many many success stories but i had to ome to grips with the fact that i probably will not have a baby. Adoption may be the route i go if it does not happen within 2 years. I hope you get a baby. I really do, but just know, there are others (like me) that are in the same boat. I will be praying for you.

  • beckysoreear
    beckysoreear regiNA17

    Posted

    I am so sorry that you are having to face this. I was diagnosed with PCOS at the age of 15 and told that I had a severe case that would mean I was very unlikely to have children. When I got married all I wanted was children so the doctor put me on a course of Clomid, which at first did not work. I wasthen given metformin - I now have two children. Have you tried this medication?

    If your doctor says IVF is an option then he can advise you on the next steps, including how to go about finding out about egg donation. I wish you the very best of luck my darling, and that you get your wishes soon xx

  • regiNA17
    regiNA17

    Posted

    Girls, thank you for help and support! I've tried all possible medications and treatments... Unfortunately nothing helped. I think if doctor said I can get pregnant only with donor egg, then I really have no other ways out... Now I spend 24/7 in the Internet, trying to find some answers. I must say it's not easy... There are so many controversial reviews. I hope I'll find all needed info. I appreciate your help!
  • percy43827
    percy43827 regiNA17

    Posted

    I will say you should give yourself sometime before you try again be anxiety and depression may contribute to the treatment you have taken so far not yielding positive results, because with you age you have 50% chance of conception naturally, but if you want to go for ivf please ask your family member they may be of help and you will surely love the kid because the child is still from you blood line. Also have faith in your God and believe in Him it will happen oneday
    • regiNA17
      regiNA17 percy43827

      Posted

      Thank you for your advices and kind words! I'll definitely keep in mind all you've said. I'll talk with my family again... But they don't support my desire at all. They think this procedure is wrong and unnatural. They try to convince me to wait or simply accept childless life. But I can't live like this! I feel like depression eats me from inside. I pray and believe everything will change for the best and we'll become parents one day.
  • susan46746
    susan46746 regiNA17

    Posted

    Same situation here. I was diagnosed with PCOS 6 years ago. My only chance to become a mother was ivf with donor egg. I also had so many doubts! All these thoughts you are talking about never left my mind. The greatest fear was that I will not be able to give love to this child, because it won't be genetically related with me. It's much more easier for man to accept this procedure. In any case there will be blood relation between them. But I decided to try and forget about my confusion. I must say I have no regrets! One more problem was prices. Costs for this procedure are very high in USA and Greece. It was hard to find clinic with professional doctors, quality service and affordable price. Also we've read so many reviews about scammers and fake agencies. Those people know nothing about empathy. After a couple of months of thorough search, reading of hundreds reviews and contacting clinics directly we've found Ukrainian biotexcom. I wanted to carry my baby and give birth by myself. I wanted to be with him from the moment of his birth, from his first breath. I wanted baby to look like us. I should say that all doubts just faded away when the doctor made an embryo transfer. The only thing I wanted at that moment was my baby to be born healthy. Now, when I remember how I was tearing myself apart with all that thoughts I smile. Every time I look at my son, I see that every day more and more he looks like me. I raise healthy and, of course, the most beautiful baby in the world! We asked our doctor to find egg donor, who will look similar with me. Now I have absolutely no feeling that my son is not mine genetically! No one can ever tell he is from donor egg. We decided not to tell anyone that we underwent this procedure. I think I will not tell my son about donor. I'll do everything for him so he will have no need to know about this. I think it will change nothing for him. We are very happy that we addressed to this clinic and had de ivf. I hope you'll find all answers you need! I really hope you come to terms with your situation and are able to make a decision that you're happy with. I wish you all the best for the future)
    • regiNA17
      regiNA17 susan46746

      Posted

      Your story is so inspiring! You know my pain( All these thoughts are driving me crazy! But anyway I don't want to step back. I need this procedure! I really want to have children and to be a happy mom. You're absolutely right about prices. When I've just started to learn about de ivf, I was shocked. It's so unfair we should pay to become parents. We want to find clinic with affordable price so don't stay homeless in the end of the procedure. Your words give me hope and belief my feelings toward baby will change. I want to sincerely love my baby with my whole heart!I don't want my child to feel unloved or unwanted. I want my journey to begin asap! I'm so tired of waiting. It drives me crazy because I think up some terrible scenarios in my head. I'm afraid that when my child will grow up he/she will want to find donor... I don't know should I tell the truth or not... I'm so sorry for these revelations. This thoughts are tearing me apart and I have no one to share them with. May I ask you some questions about this clinic? I'll understand if you don't answer. It's too personal I know... But I really want to find good clinic which will make the process easy and effective. Why did you choose exactly this clinic? What was the major factor which convinced you? Were there other couples? How were their services? Maybe there was something you didn't like? I'm not trying to find falls, don't get me wrong! I just want to know both sides, good and bad. I'll be grateful for any info! 
    • susan46746
      susan46746 regiNA17

      Posted

      You have the right mood. It's very important to stay positive. You should believe in result and never step back. We are the only one who create our future. Negative thoughts only make it worse. I'm happy my story inspired you! I remember myself in the beginning of process. Thanks to ladies, who shared their experience and successful stories, I've got strength to keep going. My life changed completely thanks to the procedure and my clinic. I'm happy mother and wife now. My husband is so greatful and he loves our son. We never raise the issue of de ivf. We live like normal family and don't even think about problems we had. I love my son, he's my treasure. I'm sure your feelings will also change! You can ask me everything you need. I'll help with pleasure)  We chose this clinic because there were mostly positive reviews and quick response from the clinic on our mail. I've browsed each forum, each thread, each comment about egg donation. There were both good and bad reviews. But generally the clinic seemed to me professional and popular among infertile couples. Also they have good prices and don't ask to pat extra fees. Don't think we are greedy. But this procedure is only the beginning. After childbirth costs grow along with baby. So why pay high prices, give all your money and then work at 3 jobs, so have no time for child you wanted so much? This clinic propose same services for lower price. There were a couple of factors which convinced us to sign contract. When we came to the clinic for the first time, we saw many people there. I should say we didn't expect this at all! I never thought Ukraine is that popular. And since that moment I had a feeling that everything will be fine. Not for nothing people go there! At first I was sceptical. I thought their medicine stuck in the past. But after looking at the clinic and their modern equipment I changed my mind. Also their services. The clinic have already took care about everything. So our stay in Ukraine was absolutely comfortable. We were met in the airport by taxi driver, who was carrying us across Kiev by his car. He was transporting us to the clinic and our apartment, which was also provided by the clinic. We had a manager and she translated everything for us. She spoke language fluently, so there were no misunderstandings. They even provided us with food supply! The only thing which we cared about was de ivf procedure.
    • regiNA17
      regiNA17 susan46746

      Posted

      Their services seem to be good. It's nice the clinic found translator and housing for you. I didn't know clinics provide such services. I really had no idea how to find all this by myself. It's seems impossible to organize all this without knowing language. I understand these services are not for free. The clinic counted each detail so foreign patients will be in absolute comfort in another country. How much did you pay for all these services? 

      And how much did you pay for the procedure? Did you pay all sum at once? I'm a little bit afraid to give all money right away. We never know what will wait for us tomorrow. Was there some additional fees? I've read some clinics start to pull more money after signing a contract. When you think about termination of contract, you remember how hard it was to find clinic, how much efforts were made. So the only way is to pay and wait till it will be over. I'm glad to know they have modern equipment! I had some doubts about their medicine. There is not really stable situation in Ukraine. They have poor economy. Also I'm interested how much attempts of ivf did you have? And which one was successful? Sorry if it's too personal.  How do they choose egg donors? How can you be sure your donor is healthy and doesn't have some genetic deseases? Did you choose donor by yourself? There is lots of info about unhealthy egg donors. Some clinics don't make proper checks. Sometimes babies born with genetic diseases. This scared me so much! I don't want my child suffer physically and mentally from bullying and reproaches. What mother will want this... I'm so afraid that clinic will miss something and then aftermath will be horrible. 

    • susan46746
      susan46746 regiNA17

      Posted

      All those services were already included in our package. We didn't pay some extra fees. The clinic never asked to pay additional charges. The clinic has a couple of packages. So you can choose the one, which suits you the most. We chose 'Guaranteed success' for €9 900. Also there was 'Double package' for €6 900, where you can have 2 attempts. If you choose 'Economy package' for €4 900, you'll have one attempt of de ivf. Speaking about package we chose, we had 5 attempts. In case of failure of all tries, the clinic gives money back. So there was no risk for us! That's why we chose exactly this package. I've got pregnant from second attempt. It's ok for me to talk about this, so don't worry) We didn't pay all sum at once! I think it's too risky to do so. The payment was divided into 2 parts. We paid €4500 after we signed contract during our first visit. We paid second half on the day of the first embryo transfer. We were never asked to pay some extra money! You can't choose donor by yourself. Contact of clients with donor is prohibited by law. So we provided desired phenotype. We sent information about the desirable characteristics of the donor to the clinic. We indicated height, weight, hair color, eyes color, nose, face and lips shape. Generally saying, all features we needed. Then the clinic found three donors corresponding to our phenotypes and sent us info about them. We chose the one, who suited us the most. Speaking about egg donors and their health. All requirements to donors were specified in the package we've chosen. First requirement is age of donor. All their donors are 18 – 25 years old. Second requirement is perfect physical and mental health. And third requirement is absence of genetic diseases in the donor and her family. So we were absolutely sure in health of our donor.
    • regiNA17
      regiNA17 susan46746

      Posted

      Thank you for all info. I'm surprised that theclinic repays if procedure fails. Their donors are very young. I'm glad to hear they check not only donors, but also their families. I'm relieved to hear there is an the opportunity to give the clinic characteristics of donor. My child will look like me. I think it will help me not to think about the procedure in future. No one will tell me that my child looks differently from me. I was scared that it will be obvious that baby is not mine. And everyone would start judging or feel pity for me. I understand I shouldn't listen to some people's opinion. It's not their bussinness anyway. But I don't want my child to suffer because of some offensive words. I just want to live normal life. I want to have my family. I want my husband to be happy. And the most important I want my child to live life full of joy. That's all I need! I want to ask you just a couple more things. I hope I don't bother you too much. How much time did you visit the clinic? And what was with transportation and housing? I mean the clinic provides all these services during first visit. But what with other times? What about medical tests and ultrasounds? Did you have to do them each time in biotexcom? And finally my last question! I need to clarify one issue which concerns me the most. Is it safe to go to Ukraine at this moment? There is war in Ukraine. I’ve read some articles and comments on forums that it's dangerous to go there. People are killed there. Many cities are destroyed... There are many homeless and poor people, who became so because of this war. Maybe it’s better to set aside our visit? I really don’t know what to do. There are so many controversial opinions about this situation. Somebody says it’s safe, but another say it’s so dangerous and tell some terrifying stories. I don’t know who should I listen to. So I put all my hope on you! Thank you so much for your patience!
    • susan46746
      susan46746 regiNA17

      Posted

      You're welcome, regiNA17! I'm sure everything will be as you wish. You have the right mood! I had same thoughts on my mind. I perfectly know how it feels. I was afraid, that people will guess that we had the procedure. And the problem was not only in some strangers. My mother in law was literally killing me with questions like 'When will I have grandchildren?' or 'Are you planning to have kids? What are you waiting for?'. I was barely holding myself not to say something rude. Our relations are very tense. She always makes some hints that I don't deserve her son. In one word, we have typical relations of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. So telling her about the procedure would be a huge mistake. That's why we told her and everybody else, that we had a relaxing vacations. We told, that time, we spent together, far away from work and stress, helped us to get pregnant. We should be grateful for such chance to have this procedure and become mothers! We had 3 visits in a frameworks of our procedure. The clinic provided us with accommodation during all our visits. By the way, we were provided with food supply too. Our doctor assigned the treatment plan for us. Also she gave us all needed instructions. We didn't go to biotexcom for ultrasounds and tests. All these we did in our local clinic. Then we just had to send the results to our program coordinator by mail. So there was no extra waste of money. The first attendance lasted 2 days. During this visit we had medical examination. Also we were provided with information about the program, organizational and medical parts and terms of the contract. Our second and third visits lasted for 6 days. We had sperm pick-up, fertilization of donor’s eggs and embryo transfer. You can set your worries about war aside! We were in Kiev in 2015 last time. We were nervous too! We didn't know what picture we’ll see after we leave our plane. Especially after watching some videos our panic was huge! But I assure you it’s one of the most peaceful and friendly cities in the world. It's absolutely safe in central part of the country. The hostilities take place in east part of Ukraine. So you have nothing to concern about. The only thing you should think about is de ivf.

       

    • regiNA17
      regiNA17 susan46746

      Posted

      Thank you for your help! I'll consider everything you've told. This clinic seems a very good option for us. I'm relieved to hear that it's safe to go there. I'll talk to my husband and I think he'll also like this variant. We'll contact this clinic in one of these days and I'll update as soon as we'll have any shifts. I hope our journey will begin asap!
  • CharlYD
    CharlYD regiNA17

    Posted

    Hello girls! I don't know if you still read this thread. I'm really touched by your stories! I'm also looking for a clinic abroad. My situation is a little different from yours, but the problem is the same - infertility. I had cancer of the uterus and uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries were removed. It was a big shock for our family. Accepting childless life wasn't a variant for us. Our only solution is surrogacy. I didn't consider Ukraine earlier. After reading some stories and reviews, I'm thinking I should learn more about reproductive medicine in this country. Does this clinic you were talking about has surrogacy program? I'm looking for reliable clinic, which can take responsibilities for surrogate mother and treatment. Unfortunately I had negative experience of meeting sm from forum and I'm afraid of scammers. Want everything to be clear and legal. I hope for your help! And I wish you good luck and all the best with your procedure, RegiNA17!

  • regiNA17
    regiNA17

    Posted

    Hello girls! I decided to update you with some good news. You may congratulate us with first great step! We signed contract with a clinic. Our first visit was in the middle of June. We made all needed tests. Also we gave characteristics of desirable donor to our doctor. We want our donor to look like me. I think all women who use donor eggs want this) So we asked our doctor to find donor with my features. We sent list with desirable phenotype of donor to our program coordinator. Speaking about service, everythin was like susan46746 told. The representative of the clinic met us in the airport. Then taxy was carrying us across Kiev, including the clinic. We were provided with comfortable apartment and food supply. Also we had a manager, who was translating for us. All these services was included into our package. We've chosen 'success' package. We'll have 5 attempts. In case of five unsuccessful attempts the clinic will return us money. Our package costs 9 900 euros. We paid 4 550 euros during this visit, after we signed contract. Our second visit was in the beginning of July. We've already chosen donor. Our program coordinator sent us 3 variants by mail. We chose lovely girl, who looks similar with me to be our donor. It was important for us the clinic to check donors carefully. I read so many stories about donors with genetic deseases. Our doctor told us they check not only donors, but their relatives too. So there is no risks of genetic deseases and not only. We were in Ukraine during 6 days. We had sperm pick-up, fertilization of donor’s eggs and embryos transfer into my uterine cavity. This time we were also provided with all those services. We were met in the airport. Then taxi was transporting us to the clinic and our apt. We were provided with cozy accommodation and food supply. All same as previous time. There were so many people in the clinic! I should say there was literally crowd! Even bigger then previous time. We paid second half of the whole sum, 4 550 euros. I'm sooo nervous! I hope everything will be fine. Can't wait to do pregnancy test! Though we have 4 more tries, but I hope this one is successful!

    CharlYD, thank you for your support! Answering to your question, there is surrogacy program in this clinic. We talk to a couple, who came for delivery. They seemed really happy! I looked for info on the official website of the clinic. You can find list of all services there, some pics of the clinic and housing and also all terms and conditions of contracts. You can also contact the clinic's manager directly and ask everything you need. Personally we contacted them, asked all needed questions and received answer pretty fast. I also wish you good luck, dear!

    Emis Moderator comment: I have removed company names as we do not allow posting of these in the forums. If users wish to exchange these details please use the Private Message service.

    • CharlYD
      CharlYD regiNA17

      Posted

      Hello RegiNA17! Thank you for your response. I'm really glad to know this clinic has surrogacy. I'll definitely check its website! We'll contact them today. I have some questions, hope they won't make us wait. My congratulations about your signing of the contract! I wish you all the best with your de ivf journey!

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