Just a journal for my natural hemorrhoid relief attempts

My journal for attempting to get rid of grade 3 hems naturally.

I'm 35, a mom of 2, and a lover of all things crafty. I have been suffering from what I like to call "asstroids" for roughly 10 years.... getting increasingly worse every year. I had a traditional external hemorrhoidectomy 6 years ago. MOST PAINFUL THING IN THE WORLD. But, it took care of the problem.... until the internal ones showed up. The internal ones are literally trying to kill me. I was hospitalized and given two units of blood 4 years ago for them. Grade 3. Was told the only thing that will work is surgery. I never want to experience that pain again, so I've said "no thanks" every time. But, now that they have been ruining my life for my entire motherhood, i've agreed to surgery in the middle of August 2019..... but I don't plan on keeping the appointment. Mostly because I have to go back to work shortly after (i'm a teacher). And I know I won't be moving out of bed for at least 2 weeks if I have the surgery. So, my only option right now is to completely overhaul my life and do a major hyper focus on my asstroids.

I'm sick of having to carry around rubber gloves to push them back in.... either after a bowel movement or in the bathroom at the grocery store because they slipped out while grocery shopping or while at work when I finally get some time without my students. Currently, the only thing that helps even a tiny bit is rolling up some toilet paper and sticking it in my crack to attempt to hold them in. Sometimes it works great, other times not so much. Either way, my life completely revolves around this issue. Saying no to surgery might be the dumbest thing in the world. But I'm going to try my best to make life at least livable.

I've done banding, electrocuting them (not sure what the medical term is for when they shock them), creams, ointments, physical therapy, fiber, supplements, yada yada yada. Everything. Has. Been. Tried. But i feel like maybe I went half assed. I'm done half-assing it. I'm ready to Bruice Willis and Ben Afflec these MFers Armageddon style.

I can't have a normal bowel movement. It's like I'm pushing against a brick wall. Even when I have a stomach bug, getting anything to come out is sometimes impossible. That results in more time on the s*****r, which results in more problems, which makes having a bm harder, and the cycle continues.

So, here's my game plan:

Supplements: vitamin e (supposedly helps protect cells from damage), collagen (Collagen is the most abundant protein in your body. it supports skin elasticity and holds your organs, muscles, and bones together... so hoping it helps my bum too). Probiotic (because it's good for your gut), folic acid to help my body make new cells, iron to help the constant blood loss, vitamin c to help the iron, and b12 to help my blood cells. I've also ordered a spendy supplement meant to help hems. We'll see.

I'm also going to start juicing. Celery juice craze... i'm gonna jump on the band wagon. Probably won't help, but I'm willing to try anything to get my life back!

I'm going to go get them shocked more too. The only reason I don't do this more often is because, even though it reduces their size, it makes me bleed like crazy.

I am fully aware that this might be a lost cause. I'm 99% sure I'll be going in for the surgery once school is out for next summer. But at least if that happens I can say i did everything i could to avoid it.

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