Just been diagnosed and feel lost on what I should do. Anyone willing to share their experience?
Posted , 6 users are following.
Hi,
For just over a week now I have had red raised sores on my penis, which are causing a lot of pain pretty much all of the time. I went to the Doctors who completly mis diagnosed me, and when the problem continued to get worse I went to see one of the Sexual Health Nurses who quickly determined the problem was Herpes. This made me panic quite a lot!
I have been taking the anti viral medication that she gave me, and she basically sent me on my way with 2 leaflets to read. Obviously, after having time to think I have a lot of questions like; How often do outbreaks occur? Is there anything I can do to prevent them? can this be transmitted even when I don't have an outbreak?
The above just sort of scratches the surface in terms of the questions I have, and my main worry is telling people, especially future girlfriends. I know for a fact I will not be telling anyone else.
How have you all gone about telling partners? Mainly that you have just met, before any sexual contact.
The day I was diagnosed I had a date in the evening. This was a second date with a girl I have known for a couple of months now. The date itself went really well, and due to her living in another city she was staying at mine, like she did on the first date (Nothing sexual has happened with her). Things started to get a bit more intimate, and It was pretty obvious what was going to happen, however I didn't let it and was very shy and basically put my barriers up! I basically panicked and now I think that unless I tell her what has happened, then I have basically ruined any chance of a relationship.
The next day I was very down about the whole thing, and kept thinking why would anyone want to be with me when I have this problem?!
I stopped panicking yesterday and started to do a lot of reasearch on Herpes, however I would love to hear any of your stories or listen to any advice you might have. Especiall on the discussion with a brand new partner.
Thanks in advance,
Tom
0 likes, 37 replies
r35506 tom63533
Posted
Sorry to hear you are a fellow herpes sufferer. I was only diagnosed on Monday. Type two woooo. Not.
Anyway. I have been miserable as hell since I found out. I've been in a looonnng miserable relationship for years, then met the guy of my dreams three months ago. he lives on the other side of the world and I have just been to visit him only coming home the weekend just gone. We both played it 'safe' you know, got 'full' sti check ups. Came back clear. All good. Little did we know this does not include a screen for herpes.
Anyway, long story short, I've just been over there to see him and got very ill one week in. All the classic symptoms of a first outbreak flu, tonsillitis, open sores etc. Not good. Spent a fortune on docs and yes. The results are in. Type 2. So anyway, I have been very depressed. Crying. Feel disgusting. Like damaged goods that nobody will want. I felt like I had gone from having everything to offer to being just nothing. Obviously my other half is very upset too that this has happened, that he has it and worst of all, that he gave it to me.
What I want to share with you is my story since Monday. In three short days I have gone from rock bottom to ok. I literally have not moved out of bed. I felt unclean and gross. But then I started to speak about it. I told my parents who were very supportive, but then I told my brother. It turns out he also gets coldsores on his face. He also has herpes albeit in a different place. I was not alone. Someone else in my family has the virus. This made such a difference for me. He has had the virus for three years and nothing has changed. He is still the same person.
Then it dawned on me. Something like 60-80% of people have herpes. 1 in 4 have genital herpes. That is a LOT of people. If you have oral herpes, you can give it to someone in their nether regions through oral sex so they also have to have that awkward conversation when they meet someone new. If I met a new person and they got coldsores, I would want to know before they kissed me.
I read a website that suggested changing some of the phrases. Change 'genital herpes' to 'cold sores', change 'STD' to 'virus', instead of saying you 'HAVE' a disease, say you are 'prone to' or 'get symptoms'. It makes it seem much less than it is. That's all they are at the end of the day. Cold sores. There is a risk a new partner will get it. Chances are they already get cold sores anyway. So many people have to have this conversation. You are not alone. Imagine what you would like to hear. If you never got herpes. How would someone say it to you in a way that wouldn't freak you out? 'I really like you, but before we do this, I have to let you know that I am prone to cold sores. If we kiss and have sex, there is a chance you may get them too both on your face and down below'. Not so bad as a conversation starter, and from there you can reveal more info.
In reality yes, it's still gross. I have horrible symptoms at the moment. I have type 2 so I am probably going to get outbreaks ALL the time. This sucks. It really sucks. But I am going to do something about it. I currently do not look after myself at all. I barely eat, what I do eat is crap, I don't sleep, I go out on a weekend. I am going to change all this and actually look after myself. I am 25 now after all. I will still go out with friends, but for the days before will get early nights and eat well. I am going to try and boost my diet with l-lysine which supposedly reduces outbreaks.
I hate herpes. But in three short days since I got my results, I am already coming to terms with my herpes. It will get easier.
tom63533 r35506
Posted
Thanks for replying so quickly! There are so many phrases I can type into google before I thought it would be best to hear from actual people!
Sorry to hear about all your problems with this. Hope this isn't a little naive of me, but am I right in thinking type 2 is genital and type 1 is oral? I haven't officially been diagnosed by a doctor, but instead the nurses at the STI checkup place. I plan on visiting a doctor next week, as I have just moved back to Uni so don't have a GP. Did you receive medication to get rid of the first outbreak?
The statistics have really helped, and I keep thinking about that when I get a bit down about it. Such as, I live with 8 other people, so when you include myself, there is one additional person with it - might be a bit stupid, but it's helping!
How did you first bring up the conversation with your parents? I'm going to try the word replacement suggestion, especially when I tell any partner in the future - I won't be discussing this with anyone else!
You seem like you have done a lot of reasearch, so thanks for sharing! I just feel lost at the momement, having not had a chance to discuss this with anyone and hear about any remedies! I think I need to go to the doctors asap just to discuss this, if nothing else.
r35506 tom63533
Posted
Yes, type 2 is usually associated with genital and type 1 with oral. however, this has now all changed. although it is more unlikely for type 2 to cause oral herpes, loads of new cases of genital herpes are caused by type 1 due to all of us youngsters going crazy for oral sex.
No, no, the stats helped me too. Really hold on to that. If you think that 80% of your flat have some kind of herpes, then that's nearly all of you !!! The herpes free people are actually in the minority !!
Oh god, well i just got home from my trip, was very tired and emotional, completely jetlagged so hadn't been to sleep, also got my results sent to me at 3am so i was definitely not going to sleep after that, i basically called my parents who were on holiday in tears, broke down and said ' i have something to tell you. i have herpes' and they were just like. and? is that it ???? they thought i was going to tell them something dreadful like i had burned the house down. it's not even a big deal to them. immediately my mum told me it was the most common STI on the planet and then they have just been really supportive since.
The real life changer for me though was my brother. i felt really awkward telling him but we are really close and he is studying medicine anyway and has effectively become immune to all things vagina and penis, and he was also just like. so? everyone has herpes nowadays. it is almost fashinable to have herpes. then he went on to tell me how he had been getting cold sores for three years and that he had had chlamydia about one million times.
For me, if i was telling a new partner, i would try to not say the word herpes at first. i know for me, the word 'herpes' is just horrible. why couldn't they just call it 'fever blister virus' or 'cold sore attacks'. herpes is just an awful word !
yes, i started taking aciclovir 400mg three times daily whilst on holiday. i went to the doctors once home on monday to get everything on my records and also get more drugs as i had a new blister appear sunday evening. im now on a course until next wednesday. the drugs stop the virus multiplying but once you stop taking them the virus can continue if you havnt finished with your outbreak yet. get to your doctor asap as if they do a swab test the sores still have to be relatively fresh so they can get the fluid out of them. next week may be too late as they may have healed by then. you can request a blood test but this will probably not prove anything definitely until you've been infected for a while so that your body has had enough time to produce antibodies.
i know how you feel when you say you feel lost, but coming on here has helped me loads. i only wrote my first post yesterday and had some lovely responses. there are millions of us out there, and we are a growing community every day. chances are the majority of people will have herpes soon and it will actually be a surprise to find someone without it.
The real problem at the moment i think is that if 80% of people have herpes, why isn't it routinely tested. it shows up in your blood after about 16 weeks from infection. herpes should definitely be included in STI testing. the health authorities justify it in saying that the majority of people don't get symptoms and testing them would only cause negative psychological impacts on that person. WELL what about the rest of us who do get symptoms, get tested and feel rubbish about ourselves? Also, these people with no symptoms will still shed the virus. that is what happened to me, my other half gets no symptoms and had no idea he was infected. it is not fair to just let everyone carry on about their normal infected no symptom life, spreading herpes to people who may get symptoms!? no wonder its an epidemic. there wouldn't be so much stigma attached to it if we were all tested and virtually everyone in the uk found out they had the virus.
In a nut shell, you have done nothing wrong. try not to feel bad, or blame yourself. i know damn sure that i am not a promiscuous person, i have slept with barely anyone and always been in relationships and always been faithful. i didn't deserve this, you didn't deserve this. no one deserves it. but the majority of people have it. they just dont know about it. we are just some of the unfortunate few who get symptoms and know we have it.
tom63533 r35506
Posted
seems like all the reactions you have had have been positive. I'm going to try and tell someone I know about it, but don't have a clue who will be the lucky person!
I had a blood test taken at the STI checkup place. I tried to signup at the doctors and they have been really unhelpful. First of all saying they had no forms so I had to go back today, which I did, and then saying i'm not allowed an appointment until next week! Might have to try another doctors!
Coming on here has helped massively! The thing that frightens me mainly is the conversation that I will have to have with people, and even though I am only 21, and all that business, my mind still drifted towards the future. The prospect of finding a girlfriend, who may end up being my wife and needing to tell them...I suppose it's just the fear of scaring someone off. At my age things are going very slow if you haven't slept with someone by the 3rd date, usually its much earlier...so the thought of having this discussion before someone even knows me is slightly daunting!
Talking on here is making me feel much better, and now I know i'm not the only one!!
r35506 tom63533
Posted
Yes it really does help talking to someone about it. It really really helps. I've just seen your post about telling people before having sex. I know. Daunting right. I have been in your position, I only finished my masters at Uni last year I know what it's like to be young and partying like crazy. Even though I've been in long term relationships, we had sex before the third date. We didn't even date. I just met these people and we just clicked instantly. Why wait nowadays anyway huh there is no need to. But yes. Even if you use protection, you have to tell them in some way that there is a risk they may get this virus.
It's only fair. Otherwise the problem just continues and more people end up feeling like we have.
At the end of the day, people make their own decisions to sleep with people. Most of the time you guys will probably be drunk. Maybe try to use softer phrasing and all should be ok. No contraceptive method is 100% effective, neither are methods to protect against STI's. I think if you use a combination of condoms plus daily antivirals plus not having sex when u have or have recently had blisters, the transmission rate drops to like 1%. That's like. 1 in 100 times you have sex. That is a lot of sex to have before someone catches it.
Don't worry about finding a wife now. Enjoy being young and single. I would never recommend relationships at that age anyway. I spent from age 16 onwards in long relationships. If I could go back I wouldn't settle until I was Atleast 25!!!! Haha.
And when you find her, she will understand. By then there is a good chance she will have genital herpes too anyway. Ha ha ha. Sorry. We have to try and find light in these situations.
If you are really worried, there are dating sites for people with herpes like herpes fish. However, I think it is wrong to single out people with herpes like this considering there are so many people with the virus out there. BUT. Each unto their own I guess.
tom63533 r35506
Posted
I'm happy being single at the moment, however I am going out with a girl on friday so my mind has constantly been on how and when to tell people about this.
Well if herpes is as popular as it seems, she might well do
Did you just got to the doctors to get the antivirals?
My current does ends on friday, and despite some redness going and the pain vastly reducing, there doesn't seem to be much improvement so I think Im either going to go back to the STD clinic or the doctors.
Do you know of any over the counter medications that can be used?
tom63533
Posted
The herpes, legs, ribs and arm....it's all come at once!!
r35506 tom63533
Posted
The first outbreak is supposedly the worst and the most lengthy. Weeks I am talking. I got my first two blisters maybe 9 or 10 days ago now. I got two more that I can see probably mid last week. I thought these were healing but they havnt yet. And one of them yesterday developed a new blister head so I don't know if this was a new blister on top of another flaming blister. Not cool. So gross. Anyway. I started taking antivirals last Thursday and I picked up another 7 day course Monday just gone as I clearly wasn't done with my breakout yet.
When I was ill with a fever, yes. My legs. OMG. I got ill late Friday night. Probably like 2-3am Saturday morning to be honest. I didn't really accept I was ill and fevery on the Saturday and actually went bungee jumping and sky diving, the days following this me legs behind my knees were absolute agony. I thought it may have had something to do with the activities on sat but It just went on and on so I can only assume it was down to the virus.
Ah dear. Herpes hey.
tom63533 r35506
Posted
Ok well if this is the worst it is going to get then I am glad about that! I think, judging from what you have said, I am going to go to a doctors tomorow, even if it is just the walk in service at the Uni.
Wow herpes, and skydiving and bungee jumping in one day! That's impressive!
sorry for all the questions! I have been doing my own research but I just had so many things I wanted to ask!
r35506 tom63533
Posted
Yes you should definitely go to the doctor. They see herpes all the time so should get you sorted really quickly. I asked my doc to put it on my repeat prescription so any time I get an outbreak I can just go and get the drugs by putting a request in for a prescription rather than having to make a dr appointment. Id Deffo recommend that
tom63533 r35506
Posted
Next time you feel like you want to cry, have a read over everything you have typed to me, because it really has worked wonders and I still don't feel 100% about it, but I feel a million times better than I did!
I'm actually more angry than upset. I'm not an angry person in any way but I just blame myself even though it was essentially an accident.
That's a great idea. I want to get it properly diagnosed, and get it on my records. If only the doctor had picked it up when I went this time last week... I genuinely think it was the first time a patient had taken their trousers down in front of him!
r35506 tom63533
Posted
Yeah I'm sure it will come with time. I'm just worried me and this new fella (namely me) won't be able to get over this whole thing and it won't work out. I've gone from being head over heels to just. Meh. I want to get over it, move on and just be happy. But at the moment I just spend a lot of my time thinking about herpes.
I try not to be mad, I know it's not been done intentionally. But it hurts that it did happen. I hate these symptoms. I don't know when I will stop being infectious. I am paranoid I'm going to like, spread it into my eyeballs or onto my nose or in my mouth all the time. I just want the symptoms to go away now. To still have open sores after nearly two weeks is so unpleasant!! I'm working from home Atm but I really have to go back tomorrow. I don't know how im going to deal with sitting at my desk for so long.
As you may be able to tell, I'm still jetlagged, tired and now awake and overthinking at almost 4am.
Yesterday I went out, got some things fined saw some friends, id put some make up on and done my hair and yes I was getting attention again which felt good. But inside I was just like. Hmmmm. I have the herp.
I'm getting better. Much better. I've not cried since Tuesday. I guess I just need a little more time to accept and move on.
I know, unfortunate about your doctor. Unfortunately some are really pants. Do you research before you go and ask to get the drugs put on your repeat though if you can. It will make it so much easier. When I saw my uk doctor she didn't know much about herpes but she was very supportive (which was good because I walked into her room and just burst into tears ha ha). She made me feel like millions of people out there have herpes and that it's just not even a big deal to have it.
That is where I need to get to. And you too. It's not a big deal to have it.
tom63533 r35506
Posted
How did you get on at work? Hopefully it took your mind off it, which would be good for the healing process.
The herp...Lol! You will get used to that though!
I had a fantastic experience at the doctors today (as good as a herpes discussion can be I suppose!). I explained my concerns that it has not 100% healed and he has given me another 5 day course of antivirals. He said it was extremely common, and even said that it can't be transmitted unless there are sores knocking around....that seemed to contradict me reasearch. Did you hear that?
Hope you have had a better day with it today!
r35506 tom63533
Posted
So glad you went to the docs!!! So glad you got to talk to someone who knows what they're talking about too. Hopefully the drugs will help you heal, i finally look like I am healing today. Thank god. I'm glad they told you about how common it is etc. And made you feel like a normal person!! Did they manage to take swabs ?
Yeahhh we both recently got out of long term relationships. He found out that his ex had been sleeping around and given him chlamydia which made him really mad. Hence all his testing recently. He took all his drugs, got rid of everything and was clear again. Then this happened. She obviously gave him herpes too.
We both know he gave it to me as I had all the bad symptoms (fever, temperature, tonsillitis, initial sores) a week after we first had sex so I had only been recently exposed to the virus and I've not been with anyone else since my last long term partner of 6 years. At first I just thought the blisters were because we had been going at it pretty hard. I was hoping it might just be an opportunistic yeast infection. Unfortunately no such luck. It sucks that just when you think you've been given a break and you are finally allowed a chance to be happy that something like this happens.
He is being really supportive and lovely though, today for example he has sent me flowers even though he's on the other side of the world. We weren't going to see each other again till Xmas but he wants to change all his plans and come over to the uk next month. I don't know. I miss him during the day when he's asleep so I know I still have feelings there, just everything is clouded by this new stupid virus.
He's being amazing, but he gets no symptoms, so here I am being all miserable whereas he is ok. Just getting on with work and keeping busy. He is always checking I'm ok, and whenever I feel down he always asks if I want to chat on the phone. I'm worried I'm just going to end up pushing him away though because I'm feeling quite down. But then again, it is still only day 4. Still much better than mon and tues ! Although I do feel worse today than yesterday. How are you feeling ? I've lost loads of weight, I'm under 8 stone now so today I have made a real effort to eat more. I didn't have lunch, but I did snack quite a lot which is good. I really need to look after myself more I just suck at it completely!!!
Yeah that's right, you can shed the virus through your skin when you are showing no symptoms. That's why it's important to tell your partners you have this thing before having sex, as even with condoms there is still a chance they can get it.
I worked at home again today, couldn't face the office. Tomorrow though, I am definitely going in. We have dress down Fridays so should be able to wear something that I will feel a bit more comfortable in that isn't suit and heels. Then by next week I am hoping I will feel ok enough to wear my regular clothes.
I'm nervous about work. I sit next to a lovely lady on my team though and I know she gets cold sores. So even at work I know I'm not alone I guess. There is a work party tomorrow night and I really can't face going though. I don't know what to do. Uhhh.
tom63533 r35506
Posted
That's great news on the healing side of things. No he didn't take any swabs and didn't even take a look, which I thought was quite strange. I called the Sexual health clinic where I went on monday and they did confirm it was HSV!
He sounds like he is being great about it all, and definitely sounds like someone you should try and keep hold of. When you feel down confide in him. He obviously doesn't see it as a stubmling block, and the way he has been with you is so positive. don't push him away, if anything pull him towards you! He is being great about all this by the sounds of it, so try to remember that.
Hopefully the antivirals etc. will kick in and you will start to feel better. I'm feeling pretty good today thanks, hardly any pain apart from my legs. I keep feeling positive and then down again when I think about potential relationships, but that's something I will have to cross when I come to it. Are you getting plenty of rest? The doctor told me today that its worse when you are run down etc. Yes you should try and eat more! I know what you mean with looking after yourself, that's something i'm going to start doing properly...tough when you live a student life though!
That will be the ideal day to go back! I've been wearing shorts pretty much all the time since monday, and it's been great!
Work will probably help you take your mind off it and seeing that woman everyday will help you realise how common it is.
My advice...go out! It might be painful, but don't let it control your life right now. go out and enjoy yourself, and if anything that will help with the healing process and might help you see that you can get past it. I'm off out on saturday night when all my Uni mates move back. I know that I will get over it a lot quicker if I carry on as normal!
r35506 tom63533
Posted
To be fair, no. I've been jetlagged and barely sleeping. I am knackered. I got a fairly decent sleep last night for the first time though and will be getting an early night tonight.
Yeah I know what you mean. I saw some friends yesterday and I felt a lot better. I told them I had been in a bit of a mood because I had been given the coldsore virus. I didn't say anything else about it. They don't know where it is on my body. They were all fine about it like. 'Oh well, never mind. Loads of people have it'. It made me feel a little better.
I'll think about going tomorrow night. We will see. I'm on some other antibiotics for my tonsillitis so I can't drink anyway. But we shall see !!
I know. He's so lovely. A real catch. It's not his fault this happened. Maybe I'm just over thinking things. It will be good to see him In a few weeks, I guess we will just see how it is then. I am scared about having sex again. I'm still freaked out my the virus, I don't want to spread it to my face even though it's quite hard to get hsv2 on your face. I don't know if you already have it whether you can get it in other places too if it's the same strain. There isn't THAT much info about it. I don't even know if like. If you have open sores can you spread them around the same area or is it just dictated by the virus within the nerve endings? I'm worried that having sex will give me another episode. I've read that EVERYTHING can cause another outbreak. Sex, going on your period, even sunbathing !!!! Ah dear. I am probably just over thinking everything. God I am being a right moany mardarse today!!
I'm going to make a proper dinner this evening, fill it with good nutritional stuff. Have a shower, get loads of sleep and then face the office tomorrow feeling fresh and ready to take on the world. Hopefully. Nervous! So nervous!! I'm going to go to holland and barratt at the weekend and buy about a million supplements. Get some l Lysine, vit c, vit b, odourless garlic and some zinc. Try and boost my immune system.
Thanks for talking and listening to me moan. Means a lot. Guess we are always just going to have up and down days for now until we get used to the idea.
tom63533 r35506
Posted
That's good. I reckon people will react a lot better to 'coldsore virus' compared to Herpes.
It will probs be a while until you will want to have sex again, but if you both know the underlying story then it should be fine. I read somewhere (can't remember where) that if you have a coldsore and then have oral sex with someone that can pass it down there, and vice versa, which is obvious. However, I also read you need to avoid like open cuts. Im petrified at the moment because 2 weeks ago I was doing some landscape gardening for a bit of cash and have cuts all over!
There does seem to be a lot of triggers, but also a lot of ways to limit it! My doctor seemed very comfortable with me going back and going on antivirals for a sustained period.
Sounds like a great plan! Try not to be too nervous, only the people you want to know will find out! Are there some vitamins which help with this that you have come across?
Not a problem. Thanks for all your advice. It's just good to know that other people are going through it as well and i'm not the only one.
r35506 tom63533
Posted
Yeah I know you can pass coldsores like that. But if you already have like the hsv 2 strain in one place, I'm unsure whether you can get it in the other. Maybe you have to wait for your body to produce the antibodies that fight the virus after a few weeks. I do know that once infected with hsv 2 you can ALSO get hsv 1. Can you even imagine. What a nightmare. Just covered in sores.
I know yeah, I'm just going to see how I get on with outbreaks. If really bad I'm going to go onto antivirals for a year. Apparently the first two years are the worst. I hope we are the kind of people who get like. One bad outbreak then never have one ever again. That would be awesome.
Apparently because the virus has a fatty lipid coating, if you use a soap quite often or just after touching an affecting area, it can kill any virus you may have on your hands.
With regard to bits and supps, L lysine is meant to be best. There is some evidence that it fights and suppresses the virus. Then garlic, vitamin c, vitamin b and zinc are all really good at boosting your immune system. And obviously having a strong immune system means you are stronger against the virus.
tom63533 r35506
Posted
That would be horrible! I'm not entirely sure the differences between both of the strains other than one is the face one is the genital region (that might not even be right).
That would be great. I had a chat on the phone with a nurse earlier and she said that some people have a few more in their life and others none. Obviously some have more but im trying not to think about that.
thats good to know then!
Ahhh ok. See i haven't looked into any of this, still trying to get over the fact I had to pay for a prescription! Never had to do that before! Might go and buy all that stuff tomorow
r35506 tom63533
Posted
Yeah, let's just keep our fingers crossed hey. No more outbreaks ! I suppose this outbreak wasn't so bad. It's lasted ages but I have only had 4 visible blisters. I'm fairly sure there are some on the inside but they don't cause me TOO much bother I guess.
The difference is yes, hsv1 thrives on the face, hsv2 thrives between your legs. If you get type 1 genital herpes supposedly you get virtually no outbreaks because it's not its natural environment. I'm so hoping my symptoms are kind. I can't be dealing with not being able to sit down again !!! Literally a pain in the arse !!!!!
Yeah I really want to go back, a couple of years ago I wanted to move out there but life got in the way. Now I have the chance to do it again. So I'm planning on getting all my professional exams out of the way over the next like. Ten months. Then consider moving over there because there is so much opportunity for what I do. This is good. Positive thinking for the future. Feeling much better now than I was earlier
tom63533 r35506
Posted
If they don't cause you any bother then that's great. I found a few more on the morning I went to the doctors. The best thing about this medication for me is that I can now have a wee without being in pain! I wasn't drinking for fear of needing the toilet!
Oh ok. Well apparently the first outbreak is always the worse...that's what I have read!
that would be great! and think...in 10 months time you will hopefully not give a s**t about these things and you can have a cracking life!
r35506 tom63533
Posted
I'm nervous because I'm now due my period. Sorry. So gross to discuss. But it's like. What protection do I use. Will it aggravate things. Will I have another flaming outbreak!?! Argh! Nightmare.
This is definitely not the most straight forward virus to have.
Ohhhh the herp. Felt better last night. Even though I am awake again now from 2.30am and now it's almost 4. Must try to get more sleep. Sigh.
Let me know how u get on at the supplement shop if u go and let me know what you get ! I'm gonna make an effort to go tomorrow and go for a walk and get some fresh air too.
tom63533 r35506
Posted
Haha i'm afraid I can't really help on the period front...perhaps someone else has some advice! good luck though :P
Haha 'the herp' sucks! Hope you have managed to get into work today and are feeling good about it all.
On the supplement front. I went into the chemists and got way too confused. Decided rather than buying basically the whole shop, I am going to do some reasearch and stock up. I'm thinking just general things to boost my immune system would be best. I rarely get ill, but I have been on placement the last year so have had a routine...that's not going to happen now i'm back at uni!
r35506 tom63533
Posted
Hope all's well with you and that you have seen some improvements with your antivirals !! I hate this first outbreak but my sores are finally not open anymore. Amazing news !! Can finally begin to bloody heal !! Haha.
Yes, good idea. Research is definitely key. I'm going to do a little more today and head up to a holland and barratt.
I went into the office yesterday, even though I barely slept the night before I had a good productive day. Lots of report writing done. Was good to see my team and just get back to being normal. No one can tell I have this virus. Everything is fine.
I've told my housemate I have the coldsore virus. Obviously I've not told him where it is. But it's good to get it out in the open and his reaction was LOL you have herpes, then nah don't worry. Everyone has herpes nowadays. Not a big deal.
I think if I ever have to tell anyone new in a relationship I will be replacing the word 'herpes' with 'coldsore virus' it sounds so much less intimidating. It helps me to deal with it a lot better definitely.
I didn't go to the work party in the end, but I've got to hang out with my housemate again which is good. It's really good being around friends.
Getting there. Slowly. Herpes isn't THAT big of a deal. There needs to be more websites that say that. Obviously the internet is full of 'oh no my life is over' and no one who is ok with it writes anything. It's not awesome to have herpes, but it's definitely not the end of the world I guess. Although I still really really wish I didn't have it. Lol.
tom63533 r35506
Posted
Massive improvements over the last few days! Hardly thought about it as well which is good. Glad I have the extra course of anti virals to truly get rid of it. Didn't really have confidence that 5 days was long enough! glad you're on the mend!
How did you get on at holland and barrat? did you find anything decent?
His reaction sounds good...I imagine a lot of peope will have a similar reaction. Yes referring to it as coldsore is deffo the way foward. I've still not told anyone, and don't really have the urge to tell anyone unless it's obviously a girl i'm going to sleep with!
It isn't that big a deal! I feel really good today! Now that there has been an improvement it has started to become a non issue to me.
Glad you had a good couple of days. I decided to go about my weekend as usual and will be going out tonight. I'm just sat around the house today watching football with my mates and I have hardly given it a thought, and the times I have, it has all been positive.
r35506 tom63533
Posted
Hope you've had a good weekend and went about your usual routines and got drunk and had a good time ! Hope all is healing well too.
I look pretty much back to normal now which is awesome. No more pain and soreness which is so good!
Yes I went to holland and barratt bought about a million things. I got a multi vitamin some vitamin B, zinc, odourless garlic tabs and most importantly the l-lysine. I'm going to start taking everything tomorrow and get back into a decent routine.
I'm feeling so much better about everything now my outbreak is winding down. I hope I am not one of those people who gets an outbreak every month. Fingers crossed it's just one. Ever !
Good news is this guy I've been seeing now wants to come over for a visit next month which is awesome ! He is having a tough time coping with herpes though. Like coming to terms with it. He's worried about having sex again and says he feels dirty. I've told him there is no point worrying since we now both already have herpes there is no way we can give it to each other again but he is still really down. Do you have any advice from a male perspective ?
tom63533 r35506
Posted
sorry it took me a while to get back to you, been quite busy over the last couple of days!
are all the vitamins working well?
I know it is easy to say, but there is no need for him to be down. I understand what he means about feeling dirty, however my things have no cleared up and even though I know I still have herpes im not thinking about it in a negative way anymore.
The fact of the matter is, you both have it and it's not life threatening. So it's not like you can give it to eachother again. In terms of worrying about having sex, when you think the herpes is acting up again just don't have sex. Bottom line is you can't catch the virus again, so it is just about how you manage it.
try and explain to him that there is no need to worry about the sex issue, and explain how manageable it actually is! Sorry I can't really give much more advice on the issue, but maybe just focus on the fact that you both have it and that way you won't catch it again.
Out of interest. How long should you wait after an outbreak before you can have sex? I haven't had sex, and not really rushing into anything since the diagnosis, but just wondering what is recommended in terms of waiting time. Do you know?
r35506 tom63533
Posted
Sorry for the delayed reply. Really thrown myself into work this week and seeing friends. I guess as we come to terms with it we will need the forum a bit less
How are u healing now ? All my sores are healed but I have such bad skin pain where they were ! I get sharp shooting pains and the skin itself just aches all the time. So grim.
The supplements I haven't even started taking yet, need to sort my life out and sleep more and start taking them !!! Did u buy any?
With regard to sex I think you're meant to wait Atleast one week after the sores are completely healed. I think. The other person can still catch it but once u are healed over transmission rates are less !
Hope u are well and have another busy weekend planned
r35506 tom63533
Posted
tom63533 r35506
Posted
Really sorry to hear that you are having another outbreak! Is this one worse than the first?
I seem to be Completly healed and I have now finished the course of antivirals that the doctor gave me! Been trying to look after myself but I've been hit with a big cold and vomiting bug so that's not going to well. I expect another outbreak soon!
Hope your managing at work, and you aren't letting the new outbreak get you down!