Just been diagnosed.. feeling very ill and upset

First of all sorry to hear that you have this issue. I agree with how you think he may have given it too you, but you have to consider what it would be like in his shoes when someone accuses him of having this and giving it to you. Yes, he may have given it to you, but it might have been better to approach this more delicately.

When I found out I had herpes I was told that it doesn't always show up on the tests for a good few months.

People understand herpes. It's nothing more than a cold sore, its just where it is that is the problem. I'm 21 and only found out a month ago and now I don't even consider it. I'm aware it's there but I don't let it get to me. I have become healthier because of this.

I was seeing a girl when I found out and I told her and she slapped me and refused to talk to me and told my mates...I was a wreck after that. However...I met another girl and went on a few dates with her, and when I told her she laughed and said "is that it?!". Bottom line is that if people let this get in the way then they aren't the sort of people you want around you. 

Firstly, you're still young, so do not feel rejected - it's not fault in the first place. A true person would tell their partner if they had any previous tests and they had comeback positive, okay there are many guys these days that won't even go to a doctor for anything that is relating to STD's, etc.

If you've tried over 50 times to get his reaction? Is he really worth it Lou? It's a big world we live in, and not all guys are the same - and certainly do not stoop to low levels. There are many guys that would listen to you, I know of some couples that even been to the doctors together, basically it's a case of putting the truth out in the open initially. At least you're doing something about it, but can you trust your boyfriend? They may seem a bit harsh, but look at the way he has treated you.

You should never feel it's your fault, when you find that right person, hold off and tell them you have been previously diagnosed - you will be surprised by some guy's, they certainly will not react like your previous boyfriiend did, just class that has one bad experience. You do not want to end up on anti-depressants like some people, they are addictive and will probably make you feel worse.

This may sound strange coming from me, but do your parents know, about your issues? The reason I ask is because my wife and myself, have always brought our children to be forthcoming with any problems. Well, I say our children they are getting on now, youngest daughter is 14 years old, middle boy is 19 and our eldest is 24. Because we have brought them up with having an open mind on anything our daughter was never embarressed when she first started her periods, and our middle son was unnsure about having a sexual relationship with his girlfriend, don't get me wrong she was a pretty girl - but also a reputation, so we persuaded him to ask her if they could both have tests done. Now, they are trying for a child - they both passed negative on the tests done - so we were happy for them.

I know most parents do not bring up or chat about what would normally embarress others - but believe me, if you are down to earth with your parents, you maybe surprised about the outcome of matters that may trouble you in the future. We believe a child should always be able to talk about anything.

Anyway, I hope you get sorted out and think about what I said, you maybe surprised by the outcome - not everyone is so open on subjects, but these days we think it is an essential part of growing up. Schools these days seem useless in many ways, but that's gov't cutbacks for you.

Regards,

Les.