Just can't cope anymore

Posted , 6 users are following.

I am having a terrible time at the moment. I'm a full time primary school teacher and mum. I am also the only family member my recently widowed Dad has and he needs supporting. Yes, lost my Mum in July so grief still raw. My work demands and family demands are never ending. Work is especially bad as despite all the hours and hard work,  I have been told results are still not good enough. Stress in the home is being caused by spiralling debt and an 11 year old crying out for attention (doesn't get much when I have to work till 10 most nights). I feel totally trapped. I have a nice boss but as sympathetic as he is the whole education system is like this. He is being breathed on by the head of our Multi Academy trust so new demands are made of him, he of his staff and so on. I've had to deal with abusive parents this week too - all because I asked to see them concerning the fact that their child is not doing any homework. My attempts to assist the family with a time management plan were thrown back in my face.  

I can't just leave because I can't afford to and I'm too old to train for anything else. I've left home and I'm sitting in a car park wondering what on earth to do. I've had suicidal thoughts all day.

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Sally 66

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    Kindest regards

    Patient

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  • Posted

    Hi Sally,

    You dont have to deal with all this stress in your life even though you think you do! What you really should do at this point is go to the GP as soon as possible. If you tell them about suicidal thoughts, unbearable stress and the worry over how youll cope financially if you leave your job - also about your recent loss - then the doctor will know what to do. Hopefully, youll be able to receive a letter from your doctor to say that you are ill (this should be treated just the same as if you have just had major surgery and need time to recover) and that you *need* to be given paid leave. I know the education system in this country is horribly stretched, but this doesnt mean you wont be able to take the time off you need to recover and be able to cope with what sounds like a very demanding life, and put your safety and health first without the added burden of worrying about money!!

    I really hope you do see your doctor and as soon as possible, you absolutely do not need to be dealing with this in silence or without help. You really must make sure you tell them about the suicidal thoughts (this is so important and you should not feel embarrassed about this at all, the doctor has heard it before and wants to help).

    Xx

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  • Posted

    Dear Sally

    ?I'm sorry you are going through a tough time and yeah I hear what you say about education. I think Education and Social work (to which I was involved with) has become very thankless task and too embroiled in targets and teaching plans. Please please find time to speak to your GP about how your feeling. I like you felt too old to cross train but was in a position to quit. Its soured my belief if such a future job outside my profession exists but I just knew I could not continue in my profession. I think its more sole destroying when (probably like you I had a vocational calling into this field) with all the changes and living in hope that pressures subside but they never did. I hear your worries and with debt you probably feel that you are tied to your current career, but please find time to speak to your GP and look into alternative jobs. You need time for you  have time to grieve , let alone stay strong for your dad and child. Please stay strong and take time to re evaluate life. Your child needs you and things will get better but you really do need to take some sick leave and confide in your GP and friends Thinking of you David   UK

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  • Posted

    Hello Sally..so glad that you have reached out to us. You are not alone. Did you say that you are a single mom? Is there anyway to get help with your father from the state or other family members. It's easy to see why you are so overwhelmed! I'm thinking about this let me get back to you. Hang in here there's always answers and suicide ...remember is a permanent solution to a temporary problem/problems. You count and you will find answers. Diane

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  • Posted

    Hi Sally - you haven't mentioned whether you have seen your doctor about what is happening with you. If not, that would be a first step. As for those parents throwing your help back in your face - well, you tried. You can lead a horse to water etc, if they don't want to help themselves there's little you can do. Also, since the work situation is not the best, have you thought of branching out on your own? Schooling children at your home? Perhaps visiting theirs to assist kids that need more attention or have parents who would like their kids home schooled? Just a thought. The first step is to get help for your feelings of depression.

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