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Just diagnosed. Fighting off the depression, but feeling lost

Posted , 7 users are following.

bpancp56633
bpancp56633

I received my test results last night that were positive for HSV2. I'm devastated really. Trying not to be but it's hard. Sadly I abstained from sex for almost 2 years and this is what happens when I chose to finally be with someone. He is being supportive and is also getting tested. The Dr says it's too soon to know if I would need suppression medicine because it's likely I don't experience another outbreak, but this pain is barely tolerable and honestly guys I'm scared. Scared for my future and what this means. I can't even imagine putting on normal clothes right now. Walking is even hard. Im afraid to talk to family or friends about it for fear of being judged. I mean all I did was be intimate with one person I cared for. How do I deal with this? Should I request the medicine? Is there something topical to use to ease the pain? Should I take lysine pills or oregano oil? Please, any support is appreciated. I've cried so much and I don't want to be a victim. I want to know the next steps. I just need guidance from people who can relate.

1 like, 16 replies

16 Replies

  • unfortunate1
    unfortunate1 bpancp56633

    Posted

    I just found out too and I feel your sadness. Im sorry that you had so few partners when this happened to you. You’re definitely going to want to think of the most trustful person in your life who would never share your health with anyone else. If you do not have one, try confiding in someone on this website for now... personally i was told no topical creams will really help heal except to maybe relieve pain... if you’re having an outbreak i was told anti virals are a must.... i keep hearing about oregono oil so I’m looking forward to hearing someone else’s response on that on your post. My bf hasn’t had an outbreak so we are hoping he never does, and to prevent him from getting herpes i will have to take anti virals daily for the rest of my life. Time heals everything and time will heal this too. In time your health will be back and god forbid another breakout, it’ll be easier for you to talk about it to your loved ones. 
    • bpancp56633
      bpancp56633 unfortunate1

      Posted

      Thank you for replying. I appreciate any words support. How long should I expect this to last? On top of this, my menstrual cycle has started and I feel horrible. Dirty. It makes me feel ashamed in a way. Like damaged goods. Has anyone used another support group?
    • unfortunate1
      unfortunate1 bpancp56633

      Posted

      I read online some people faced breakouts for a year. This is my first breakout and i find my anti virals are working but I’m going to run out on Sunday as i was given 500 mg to take 2 pills two times a day and I’m afraid of breaking out after the week is over. I will let you know if my breakout goes away or how long it took me to heal any visibility. My period should be starting soon and I’m worried about using tampons as it may irritate. Salt baths really make the difference for me. It’s funny you use the word used goods as I’ve been saying that about myself too. My gyno told me today that i shouldn’t take daily anti virals for life as i want my immune system to build a defence, however i was told after 4 breakouts in 1 year you should get in anti virals daily. 
  • danielle15132
    danielle15132 bpancp56633

    Posted

    I'm so sorry. Unfortunately that's the same thing that happened to me at 51 yrs old. I can't say don't be devastated cos I damn sure was, but what I will say is things will get better. I have had some real good times since being diagnosed. What helped me was accepting the fact that it's herpes not cancer, take care of myself, eat healthy, take meds/lysine and don't stress. I had no time for Ponting fingers and blaming him. All of that helped me to cope and it still does on bad days.

  • deon007
    deon007 bpancp56633

    Posted

    I was diagnosed by eyesight a few days ago now I'm waiting to get an actual test. It's so funny just like many others I've been with someone I truly cared for and bam I have herpes. All. I'm hearing is the doctor could be wrong but I know he's not. Talking about depressed. I haven't cried so much never in my life. I'm not suicidal but I could care less if I live. It's like my life is purposeless now. I'm trying to stay strong but it's getting the best of me though

    • peter88910
      peter88910 deon007

      Posted

      deon007, i had the same feeling when i got this god damn virus. further, i developed anxiety disorder and later a major depressive disorder which almost terminated my life. but after 18 months i am a complete normal person again. back to normal life. if you ask me 18 months ago if i want to live, i will tell you not. but if you ask me again today, i will tell you i definitely want to live. and definitely do not want to die. 

      Are you a student ? If not, do u have a job that you need to attend everyday?

      My best recommendation is you find something to distract yourself from thinking about this s**t.

      Also, try to see a psychiatrist, while you are doing all the std tests. Because otherwise you will go crazy during the 3-months grace period of hiv test while you re sacred and waiting anxiously for result.

      When you are very depressed, such as having suicidal thoughts, you can think this way .... say you will live 80 years, you are half way there, and herpes will affect 1 year out of your 80 years of life. for the rest of your life you will still have friends, work to do, and dreams to achieve.... would that 1 year impact your total 80 years of life ? definitely not ! 

    • bpancp56633
      bpancp56633 deon007

      Posted

      I totally get it. Keep trying to push forward every day. I try to remind myself that I'm still the same person with the same qualities as before, but now I have something but it's manageable. Works sometimes, others I'm thinking nothing great. I do think counseling is a good idea and considering it myself. We HAVE to believe it will get better and that there's still purpose and opportunity at a full fulfilling life after this. We're not the only ones and finding so many forums with people discussing their experiences has been helpful and somewhat comforting. Im still so very new at this to give any advice, but hang in there. We'll be fine.

    • deon007
      deon007 peter88910

      Posted

      I'm a 12th grade math teacher and it sucka because I'm not giving my student my all because the thought of hsv 2 drives me crazy. Even after a doctor told me that's what it is I'm still hoping it's not its taking its toll on me

    • deon007
      deon007 bpancp56633

      Posted

      I never downed anyone with any std because I always knew it happens to people but I would never date anyone with one. Now look who's on the other side of the fence I'm 35 years old and probably will die lonely

    • unfortunate1
      unfortunate1 deon007

      Posted

      I think that confidence is sexy. I wouldn’t tell someone immature where they couldn’t respect your honesty when you tell them. It’s tough but chance are that person has it too and has been dying for someone to tell them they do too. That’s at least how I’ve been seeing it. 
    • peter88910
      peter88910 deon007

      Posted

      I have positive news for everybody. After hiv test at 1 months, 3months, 6 months, now 18 months, all negative, so at least I still have a long life to live.

      Although I still feel regretful and worried sometimes, and a small wound at my south sometimes, I dont get any outbreaks anymore. Life is back to near normal. I cant sexually function due to psychological worrisome that I will infect someone , but thats fine I still have a job, my friends, my family. Life will continue.

  • sydney50563
    sydney50563 bpancp56633

    Posted

    I have come to the conclusion that I will never tell anyone no matter what people say they will look at you deferently I say join the postivedating site and try to find happiness again
    • peter88910
      peter88910 sydney50563

      Posted

      Yes ! Positive thinking ! Nice things will happen to us ! We got penalized too much already !
    • JustMe2017
      JustMe2017 sydney50563

      Posted

      This is how I feel..that I will never tell anyone and just stay single. People will judge and run the other way and tell all their friends. I don’t have time for it. I got diagnosed with H2 in Oct 2017 and only told the guy I was seeing at the time. His response alone makes me not want to tell anyone else again...😞

    • sydney50563
      sydney50563 JustMe2017

      Posted

      I’m just so scared I’m really hoping to find somebody to date in my area on the positive dating site but I think my generation isn’t even aware of the site and I’m so single and alone everybody asks where is my boyfriend I’m not just about to give somebody this 
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