Just found out I have Herpes....trying to be positive

Your situation is completely the same as mine. Back in June I met the man of my dreams. We started a relationship. 

We both got checked out (unfortunately after we had already had sex) and it turned out he had chlamydia. Lucky me though, I didn't have it when I had my swabs done. Marvellous. Lucky escape. We continued to have sex and I was on the contraceptive pill so we thought all was fine. 

Around came the last week of August, we were away on holiday and my god I was so ill. I came down with flu like symptoms, fever, vomiting, aches, pains, fatigue and tonsilitis. I have never had that before in my life !!! Then I noticed something else... These two sore like things appeared. Only little. I googled, they didn't look like herpes. Other half insisted he didn't have herpes. After two trips to two docs the swabs came back hsv2 positive. I was devastated. 

When I told my other half, he still didn't believe it at first. He always stayed clear of people with cold sores.. Didn't sleep around.. But his ex.. She had cheated on him before they ended it. That is where the chlamydia came from previously..

Anyway. I came home from the holiday. He was abroad for another couple of months as he was in the process of moving over to the UK so I went home to suffer alone. It was a pretty dark few weeks. I felt like I was ruined. I felt disgusting. Like no one would ever want me. And how could I tell anyone this news ????? I was young, blonde, successful. A great catch. Now I had herpes. I cried. And cried and cried and cried for days. 

After about a week (2.5 weeks in total) the sores cleared up and I felt much better. I'd been playing different scenarios over and over in my head as to how I would tell someone. I decided to replace the word 'herpes' with 'coldsores' or 'coldsore virus'. 

Me to prospective new partner 'hey before we do this, I just want to let you know I get coldsores. I have the coldsore virus and u can catch it either upstairs or down below through sex or oral'

That doesn't sound so bad hey? 

I continued to have outbreaks. Everytime they would end I would have 3 days clear ? Then the symptoms would be back. I went to the docs and requested to go on a continuous dose of aciclovir 400mg twice daily. Now I get nothing. No symptoms no outbreaks and I felt like I was getting back to normal. 

With regards to my other half. It was hard. Really hard. He was over 13,000 miles away and he had given me a virus I had feared my entire life. But he was supportive. He didn't know he had it. He had never had symptoms. When we were away, we had had loads of sex and he complained one day about being a little sore but we thought we may have just overdone it. Looking back, he was probably having a bit of an outbreak then. 

We worked at it, we really worked at it. He moved over here about a month ago and I honestly can say, I love him to bits. Herpes or no herpes. 

The more time goes on, the less phased I am by herpes. At the end of the day, it's just a cold sore virus. New outbreaks are no where near as bad as your first one and there are drugs to suppress it. I can honestly say, I forget I have it most of the time as does my partner. And it's only been a couple of

Months! 

I am more upset about the fact that Std checks do not include a test for herpes. When you go for a full check up, you expect to be tested for herpes ! Unfortunately the blood test is often not accurate. It takes months for the antibodies to show up in your blood which means u could have the virus but it may not show. The only true way to find out is the swab test. 

However - here are Some figures for u which made me feel better :

60-80% of the population have some form of herpes virus

1/4 people have gebital herpes

You shed approx 4% of the year (even if u have no visible symptoms) which means someone else can catch it. Have sex only when u have no symptoms, use condoms and take suppressive drugs and this falls to about 1%. 

I also told my family I had contracted the cold sore virus. I found out my bro gets cold sores ! 50% of us have the herpes virus! I felt human again. Finally. 

It really helps to talk to someone about it. Talk to your other half. Don't ever blame him if u can. He would never have meant to give this to you. But as time goes on you will accept its not even a big deal. Most people have some kind of herpes. Chances are any partners in the future would probably already be infected !!! Ha ! 

Work on your relationship together. This is a tough thing to accept but once you get over it you will be back to yourself. We are exactly where we were before except happier you forget about it with time, you will be you again. Herpes is not your life. Herpes has no ruined your life. You are you with a coldsore. Everyone gets coldsores. No biggie. Good luck  

I was diagnosed over 9 months ago now. Before our relationship my boyfriend had been with a few different women in a short period of time and not been overly careful. He has never ever, still to this day, had any symptoms of herpes, and given that it's been so long he probably never well. On the other hand I havae had a few outbreaks and it's really hard for me. I do not blame him, because i love him and also he never knew he had it. He was checked for everything else, but being asymptomatic, no test would've picked up that he had herpes. I struggled hugely at first, but I almost think there is an advantage to catching it when you're in a loving relationship compared to say a one night stand. At least he is there to support you and i'm sure your relationship will be stronger for it in the long run. Yes I still sometimes get upset about it and take it out on him, but he understands the reasons and is very supportive during those times. I really feel for you, but over time it definitely becomes easier. You will learn to understand your body and your outbreaks, and factors that tend to bring outbreaks on and stuff like that. If theres anything I can do to help, do let me know!