Just need someone to talk to...
Posted , 5 users are following.
Hi all I'm new here and don't know if this is the right category or not.. But anyway, having a look through these forums I can see there are people clearly suffering more than I am so it puts things into perspective... After a breakdown a year and a half ago (still not entirely sure why) I went on Sertraline for a year and have now come off it and have been off it for about 2 months. I came off it after a drug problem (cannabis substitutes) and eventual overdose (immediately stopping after this happened). The first 3 days coming off it were horrific but after that I only felt better with each day. Things were great for about a month, then I left home to return to uni which went fine for a few weeks now I'm back to feeling terrible.
I've always dealt with things internally and still do, as I don't know how to do it otherwise. I have no feedback from the world and it feels like I'm just bouncing off the prison bars of my own mind. I don't really have any friends right now as I get too tense around people. It feels like I have two options, pretend to be cheerful and feel awkward in doing so, or just let out the depression and just talk about how bad being depressed is. This seems like an obvious choice for me but it means that I only get to talk about these things with my therapist.
Anyway I guess other people here have this problem but I feel like 99% of my conscious time is spent just 'thinking' over the fact that I am depressed/anxious and ruminating it, why am I feeling like it, how can I solve it and so on.. It doesn't end. It's such a waste of time if anything, I can't learn anything new, I can't enjoy anything, I can't live in the moment... All I do is think, think, think.
One thing that seems to separate me from others is that my depression isn't externally caused, or doesn't feel like it. I corner myself internally. What's going on in my life or the world externally doesn't seem to have much effect on how I am internally. I don't know who or what I am so how could the world possibly affect me when I haven't even determined these things yet..?
Any help is very welcome
1 like, 8 replies
beth15788
Posted
I really wish I could say something that would help you I really feel for you. Reading your post I could relate to a lot of the things that you said. I guess you just have to keep reminding yourself that you are not alone im sure there are people that care about you. The last bit you said about not knowing who you are I feel exactly the same way. How old are you? I think it takes a long time to actually find out who you are. Have you ever seen a counsellor? Ive just started talking to one and it actually feels amazing to get everything off your chest and be able to say absolutley anything you want. Maybe writing down your feelings I guess it doesnt help everyone but Im starting to write lists ect of things I want to achieve and how I feel about stuff. Anyways I hope this was maybe of some help?! Here if you need a chat
xx
ingo42618
Posted
So you're feeling a bit lost, unsure of what and who you are?
Depression. To a Native American healer (shaman) that would mean having lost part of your soul. Because of trauma, disappointment or whatever reason. This would require a shamanic healing journey, during which you rediscover and reconnect those lost parts of your soul. You need to go places.. see things.. in your mind, in your heart. To heal. To be well.
I've been on this sort of journey for the past 20 years.
After a traumatic experience of my own.
Now I am sharing some of the insights and tools from my journey on my new self help platform BalanceIbiza com.
Perhaps there may be some helpful thoughts for you there?
As a counseling psychologist my approach is holistic well-being: thoughts - positive mental disposition
feelings - positive feelings based on self love and harmony
behavior/actions - positive supportive physical habits (nutrition, exercise, helping, contributing)
As a sidekick hint - you might want to check your body chemicals - get a blood analysis of your vitamins, minerals, etc. as well as possible toxins - lead in the drinking water, msg flavor enhancers in food, etc.
Drink lots of pure water (not tab! or filtered at least.) Exercise 3 - 4 times a week at least. Swim. Run. Total Gym. Lack of sunshine? vacation in the sun or moderate sun studio time (10 min max for light skin, 1 or 2 times a week)
Music meditation is one of the tools I can recommend for emotional healing: Listen to beautiful meditation music llike Deuter - Garden of the Gods, Gandalf - Into the Light, etc. with good headphones, close your eyes and follow the images in your mind.. Just notice and let them flow. Breathe deeply into your tummy.. and allow the yawn when it comes.Let go.
Questions I ask myself for meditation:
What does my life look like when I'm healthy, happy and well?
How am I when I'm completely and totally healed?
Time to heal yourself.
Peace and Love.
Namaste.
Ingo Zen
James765
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linda23514
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James765
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linda23514
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James765
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toby54514
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