Just need to tell my story about zoplicone addiction

Hello all,

I was on zoplicone for fourteen years and abused it for about ten. I was originally prescribed it when I was having a bad depressive episode and wasn't sleeping. My GP prescribed it and assured me it was safe. I seem to read on here that many others were told the same. I was also put on an antidepressant and eventually my sleep regulated so I went off zop. Unfortunately I also went off the antidepressants shortly thereafter because I didn't want to be on meds. Fast forward a year, I had an even worse depressive episode and ended up in the hospital. I was again given zoplicone, only when 7.5 stopped working my dose was gradually upped to 22.5 per night. After I was discharged from the hospital my psychiatrist continued to prescribe this dose. I was scared that if I went off of it the insomnia would come back and my psychiatrist had no problem giving me refills.

I eventually moved to a different city, and my new psychiatrist prescribed me the same dose without questioning it. It started to be ineffective and occasionally I would take more. I was never questioned by the pharmacist when I refilled early or my psychiatrist when I asked for more. Eventually we added other meds to help me sleep like trazadone. It happened so slowly, over a period of years. Eventually I noticed that I felt really relaxed and my anxiety would seem to vanish after taking my nightly dose. I was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder and generalized anxiety disorder so I had a lot of anxiety. I started to take extra more often, either to get to sleep or after something particularly upsetting, like a fight with my husband.

I actually managed to get off of it a couple of times but I would always end up asking for more from my psychiatrist. He knew how bad my insomnia was so he would always comply. I gradually added other behaviors that were against the law. I would "doctor shop" when my supply was low, and eventually ordered them on line. My addiction seemed to wax and wane, I would go months taking them as prescribed and then would start abusing them again.

My abuse worsened when I was part of a demanding out patient psychiatric program. It was mostly intensive group therapy and really stirred up my anxiety so I would come straight home and take some zoplicone. Things just got worse and worse. My tolerance increased, I started ordering more online and taking more during the day. Eventually my pharmacist reported me to my psychiatrist because I was refilling my prescription so early. My psychiatrist said we could try dispensing only a week at a time. But that didn't work because there were some crossed wires somewhere and a pharmacy tech gave me two months worth. In a fit of depression and hopelessness I swallowed the whole bottle. I ended up in the psych ward, amazingly they didn't have to pump my stomach or anything. They weaned me off my dose of 22.5 a night over the course of two weeks. The withdrawal was pretty horrible. My anxiety was through the roof even though I was getting clonazapam twice a day. I had dhiarrea. I had the sweats and chills. I was on other meds for sleep so my sleep was actually ok.

I go to Narcotics Anonymous now for support. Still, the struggle feels so lonely some days. I still get really strong cravings for zoplicone even though it's been three years since I have been weaned off of it. I actually tried to get some from a couple of walk in clinics in the spring but find doctors are pretty much unwilling to prescribe it, which I actually find comforting. I figure that will save other people from becoming addicted to it. My only recourse to get some now would be to order it online and I'm just not willing to do that.

Please share your story, your struggles and successes. I need a reminder today that I'm not alone.

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