Just needed to share I guess

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Hi everyone. I don't really have anyone to talk to but I found this message board and just wanted some support I guess. I just got prescribed 10mg citalopram for anxiety (i'm pretty sure I'm somewhat depressed as well, or really low self esteem, but they kinda go together don't they?) After having them for a week I finally grew the balls to take them. I was has having anxiety about taking my anti anxiety pills.

Instead of taking the whole 10mg to start off with. I broke it in half and started with 5mg, as I've read it's helped some people with the side effects. I plan on taking the 5 mg for the next few days to a week, then going to the 10 mg.

Took the 5 mg last night before bed. Woke up with a headache, feeling kinda tired and a little out of it. But, I'm not too concerned as I know these will eventually pass in the next few weeks (hopefully). I am kinda worried about the possible weight gain and the sexual side effects. I've had bouts of crying all day but that's due to my normal anxiety/guilt. I  just feel so bad for myself that I've wasted at least the past two years feeling so bad about myself and being afraid of everything and not really living. And i feel bad that my boyfriend has had to deal with this too. He's always been there for me and is so nice butI think the past few months  have really taken a toll on him.I know he's sick of my crying. I've wasted all this time crying and hiding when I could have been happy.

I keep telling myself that I have to take things slow, one day at a time. Things will get better. And maybe then I can forgive myself.

Thanks for reading

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Robyn,

    We have very much in common. I started having tons of anxiety out of the blue and was prescribed 10mg of citalopram. I was extremely axious about taking these pills and refused to for a few days. I could no longer take it so I manned up and took them. I took mine every night just before I went to sleep to avoid any side effects. When I first started these pills there were side affects and axiety caused by the pills but it all passed. After a few weeks I was doing great I returned to me and was living life again. It takes time but it all will pass. As far taking 5mg at a time I don't really see how you would even get an effect from them. I was told that 10mg is considered a baby dose. Most people start out on 20mg. I am now on 40mg and it has helped so much. I still have my issues but I know over time I will over come them. You have definitely come to the rite place for advice and people to talk to. There are so many people with these problems and we are all here to help. You have to remember though every person is different you can't feel like you will have the same side effects as other people if any at all. More importantly you cannot expect to feel better rite away. I was under the impression that I was going to pop these pills and feel better in a hour or two but in fact it can take weeks. But trust me they do help. You have to remain confident, patient and most of never stop praying. You will get through this. God puts us in these situations for a reason and he never gives us more than we can handle. Good luck! I'm sure you will hear more from me as I am always looking for advice on my bad days as well.

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much. I'm scared, but I keep telling myself to take it slow. It'll get better. I started the 5 mg because I read in a couple different forums that it make the side effects easier to deal with than just starting on the 10 mg right away. And I was quite nervous of the side effects when I first picked up my prescriptions. Whether it's true or not, who knows. But, I figured I'd give it a shot.

      Good luck to you on the rest of your journey!

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  • Posted

    Awwww honey x

    I know exactly what you're saying.  I've been there and it's a painful place to be.  First of all remember you're already on the right track by starting medication and secondly coming here for support.  When I was ill many many years ago, there wasn't even an internet, so had nobody to confide in and kept it to myself for years.  However, I've since found that the more you open up about it the more people you'll discover around you who suffer the same.

    This illness ..... yes it's an illness just like any other illness ....... can be confusing, scary, bewildering, emotional and make you feel lonely.  I was ill for 16 years and had all sort of anti depressants ........ but it was only when I started these type of meds did I fully recover and have been my normal self for many many years now.

    Ok, these meds can be tough.  Lots of people have taken them and most only find the first few weeks are the worst, where your symptoms may be heightened for a while.  For me I found the side effects no different to how I was feeling anyway.

    Taking 5mg is fine, it won't hurt you and may ease you into them.  Maybe after a week or 2 you could try the 10mg dose.  You'll be fine.

    It can be trying for our partners, and they just want you to be well.  And don't we just want that too ...... but we can't just step out of this illness ..... but you will in time.  Try to understand that this is an illness, just as anyone gets any other illness, and you now have the medical help you need which will help to heal you in time.  It will take a long time, but you will get there.  Maybe tell your boyfriend that this is an illness, you can't help having symptoms at the moment, but it will get better with the help of the medication.

    There can be weight gain side effects, but in all my years I've taken this I've probably gained 7lbs maybe?  That's probably due to ageing anyway!  Sexual side effects can be a nuisance for some, but you must think of your health first and in time when you're better you can come off the meds again and all will be back to normal.

    When I was ill I cried buckets of tears ...... why not.  Your emotions are all wibbly wobbly at the moment, and in time they'll calm down and you won't want to cry eventually.

    Remember these meds can take 3-4 months until you start noticing improvement, and also your mood might be up and down for a while - some days feeling great and some days feeling down again ... it's normal.  It's just the meds settling down.  Be patient and just persevere.  Oh, and keep in touch as there's some good souls on this site who'll help.

    K xx

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  • Posted

    Hi Robynhood,

    Totally agree with the other posts of support especially the one before this. K helped me a lot.

    I won't wittle on just wanted to say we're here for you because we've been there (some of us are still there, but getting there - if you know what I mean?) and can really help.

    What I will say and this is not making llight of the subject, Welcome to the Club!

    This club is an all inclusive one so, you are not alone!

    Regards,

    David

     

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