Just on 8 weeks and the anxiety has gone so bad again... Can this happen?

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Last Thursday afternoon and all day Friday, I felt so much better, I really thought i had turned the corner, then friday night my son told me that someone was going to come and look at my late husbands fish pond, as they think it is too much for me to look after, but at the moment, all i am interested in, is getting myself better, i am not bothered about anything else, i don't know whether or not that kicked everthing off again, it's as though i can't stand any presures... I have made up my mind the pond can waite.... This morning I am shaking, full of anxiety and crying, and last week i went quite confindent..... My son took me out yesterday, and I was just full of anxiety all day, and even at the night time  when i usually go a lot calmer... not sleeping very well at all, maybe a couple of hours.....8 weeks i thought i would be a lot better than this... i see my Councillor today, and she is going to think she is not helping me, she will probably think i should be a lot better.... please help..... Hilary

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  • Posted

    hi Hilary,

    bereavement is such a hard thing and havng cope with loss you now have to try and pick up the pieces which is no easy thing to do.

    ​It sound normal that things will trigger the pain and if it were me I think important to do things at your own pace and take your time to come round.

    ​We are human beings first and foremost not human doings & whilst I have'nt got a fish pond I guess I would run a bit of fresh water through it and feed them and leave the tidy up to next year.

    ​Maybe a calender of things you need to do and perhaps going into town for a change-counsellor on a regular basis will be supportive and will be there for you to work through the ups and downs & hope that things begin to lighten.

    ​If you like outdoors it is lovely at the minute - wildlife is always a source of joy and attending to pets is one of the things that helps me on a daily basis.

    ​Its natural your son will feel protective and wants to help all he can but I guess inner healing is a very personal thing and the natural ups and downs you have shared would probably be similarily challenging for all of us and wish you well as you perservere and work through things and I'm sure you will feel better in the long run. v. best wishes in your recovery

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your support Andy, i do appreciate all the replys, I am so glad i am on this site, there is is always someone you can poor your heart out to, and of course return the favour when you are having a good day yourself, which i found myself doing last week.... my anxiety has really peaked today, I really didn't think it would get as bad again, but when i am better, i myself will be able to pass on this imformation, and help someone else.... i so want to be better... today has been llike a living hell again, tomorrow has to be better..... thanks again.... Hilary
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  • Posted

    Hi Hilary

    i went through something similar myself at your stage of the journey ,going along well and then an issue happened at my son's school and the anxiety came racing back. My doctor explained to me that we all have a tolerance for stress a bit like a water tank once it reaches a certain level it spills over and the panic sets in.With time and managing your stress levels by talking to professionals listening to relaxation tapes exercise and eating well the water tank goes back down and so does the anxiety. If you have an issue to deal with particularly in your present fragile state your water tank or ability to manage stress spills over and you feel anxious and unwell. In time with the help of Meds and your own skills which your councillor is probably helping you with you will build up a better resistance to stress and will cope well.It all takes time, and we have to keep managing our health every day but little by little you will recover. I go to Meditation weekly and so even two years down the track on these meds and feeling well I still work on my stress resistance skills so that the water tank doesn't spill over !,

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    • Posted

      Thanks so much for your reply, it does make a heck of a lot of sense.... the trouble with me is I get so impatient,, when the anxietey comes back like it has, and i feel so sick with no appetite again, I get so dissapointed and depressed.... May thank Hilary
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    • Posted

      Of course you get impatient that's normal and I did too.You feel so helpless and disappointed.The best thing is to acknowledge those feelings and then think I'm going to push through this ,better times are ahead ,give it more time. Be kind to yourself and read books about anxiety this will empower you and reassure you that there is a way through it all.keep persisting .

      Always here if you need to vent.xx

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much Felis.....I don't know what i would without people like yourself, you say all the right things, and for that i am so grateful, i didn't think I would cry again, I thought the tears had dried up, but cried on and off all day.... this site stops me from worrying my kids, as they worry about me too much, and in turn that worries me even more.... so thanks again.... Hilary
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