Just started Citalopram today.....

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I've only just started taking Citalopram today. After having my second baby a couple of months ago, I began to feel really down all the time. I feel empty, cold and sad. I am not eating properly (binging on rubbish even when im not hungry) and am tired all the time. When im not crying im laughing hysterically about nothing in particular. Some days I wake up and just want to walk out the door and never come back, then I feel guilty because I have a lovely husband and two gorgeous kids and I can't understand feeling like this.

So I saw my doc today and he's started me on 20mg Citalopram. He said i'll be on it for at least a yr and not to worry as it is a chemical imbalance in my brain and a real illness.

I just keep thinking im a bad mum for feeling like this and that I should be able to cope better.

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15 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi there Tweety and welcome

    First off!

    Yes, depression is a real illness just like any other illness.

    Depression attacks the brain so you need drugs that will tackle that problem such as anti depressants.

    You are [u:2f778b95a9][b:2f778b95a9]not[/b:2f778b95a9][/u:2f778b95a9] a bad mother - if you were - you wouldn't have visited your doctor.

    Intead you would have ignored your feelings and continued as you are now.

    Congratulations on recognising you have an illness - now you need to believe it for yourself that depression is an illness just like any other illness, be it the flu, cancer, broken bone etc.

    Be kind to yourself and take time out (if you can) for yourself and allow your body to recover.

    Melbi x

  • Posted

    My sister was exactly like you thinking and feeling the same things after she had her second child, she has been on 40mg then to 20 mg citalopram for almost a year and it has helped her greatly, she is now further reducing her medications.

    She has two beautifull children and a lovely husband and just could understand why she felt this way. Your not a bad person, it not your fault, its just a chemical imbalance.

    m x

  • Posted

    I have felt exactly the same, also worried I would be a bad mum, scarring my kids for ever by being so imbalanced and having these moments of total incapacity, anger, frustration, crying, short tempered, depressed, name it, I had/have it. Citalopram gave me a handle on it.

    I also did a Anxiety Management course to help with that side of things. And that helped me a lot. I would suggest to anyone not to only take medication but to have a \"look inside\" and try and build up yourself as much as you can. Rationalise the irrational feelings etc. as that will enable you to be stronger when you are ready to reduce or come off the medication eventually.Good Luck and don't feel bad, as the moderation said: \"by going to the doctor for help you are proving that you are a good mum and you are getting help on time before things get too much out of hand!\"

  • Posted


    My beautiful daughter had a mother who was a monster, that was me before I got help. I have been taking Citalopram for almost 4 weeks and can honestly say I am starting to be a nice person again. Yes, it has been difficult and yes, I have felt ill...But I felt much much worse after I had totally lost it with my little girl for hardly any reason, they were the dark times, these are the brighter times, just give into the medication and stop beating yourself up.

    Secondly, the doctor who prescribed this also made me take a month off work and also recommended a book which really helped me understand where I was / what depression is etc etc... I read this whilst on sick leave, it really helped me to understand things and put things into perspective. The author is Paul Gilbert and it's called Overcoming Depression.... I think taking this medication coupled with trying to understand what depression is and how to deal with it are very big brave steps!

  • Posted


    I have been pescribed this by my doctore and picked up the medicine today but Im scared to take it because the leaflet says you shouldnt take them if you are feeling suicidal, the doc says he wouldnt give them to to to swallow all at once and I said I wouldnt but i have these thoughts every days for almost 3 or so weeks now, are these tabs going to make me do it? Im scared sad

  • Posted

    Hi there Ceyda

    NO! These tablets or any other tablets cannot MAKE you do anything hun, so stop worrying. They may very well cause you to have these feelings but they will not actually make you go and do anything.


    When I was on Citalopram everytime I used to go up the stairs at home I would have thoughts of hanging myself at the top.

    This freaked me out as I would quite often ponder for quite a while on how I would manage to get anything up there strong enough to hold my weight! :shock:

    They are just thoughts, but if these thoughts do start to take over then you really must mention it to your doctor.

    Another example: A few times on my way to the local shop I had to cross a busy main road. I would watch as a bus or lorry came towards me and think about stepping out in front of it. Of course I never did, they again, were just thoughts.

    Give the tablets a try and if at any time you are concerned for your health or safety then just ring your doctor straight away.

    Here's to your road to recovery.

    Melbi x

  • Posted

    Thanks for that,

    Im just so scared about the thoughts I have, I mean I never act on them but when Im driving I think about crashing my car, when Im on the street I think what it would be like to get knocked down by a bus, i think about taking lots of tablets and drifting away forever, I mean thats no normal is it!!

    I took my first tablet on Saturday morning so today was my 2nd and I though I was having a good day but then something terrible happened to me- I wasnt concentrating at all and I was driving this busy road and I thought I was on another road in that same town, I thought I was on a dual carrage way and went to overtake someone..... only it wasnt a dual carriage way and there was another car coming towards me, the guy was going mental at me flashing his lights and beeping the horn! Ive been so upset about what Ive done, it was horrible- its things like this that make me scared!!!! sad Is that something that anyone can do, just get mixed up like that? Or is it me, I dont feel well at all!!

  • Posted

    Hay Cedya

    This was only your 2nd day of taking citalopram, when I started taking this type of medication I felt very spaced out and was worried about driving my car. I took it easy, drove slowly as sometimes I would hesitate coming out of junction for to long, you just have to be a bit careful.

    I felt like you just terrible if something happened even if some hooted me.

    I also had the same thoughts as you.

    Try not to worry about what happened on the road everyone who drives has a run in with someone at least once in their life. Also be aware that citalopram takes time to work and you will feel better after a couple of weeks, more confident.

  • Posted

    Thanks so much for your help- reading your replies makes me feel better about my situation.

    I do feel rather under the weather just now but hopefully the good days will supass the bad ones and Il be right on track again soon.

    Im so glad I found this website, it brings comfort to me think that someone is reading my problems and understands them- I due to start councelling at the hospital soon but im getting quite nervous about it, i know it will do me good but Im just not too sure.


  • Posted

    Hey guys i came across this site whilst looking for side effects for the drugs the doctor just gave me.

    I have been prescribed Citalopram at 20mg a day which could rise to 60mg a day apparently.

    I have been diagnosed with chronic anxiety...whatever that is lol.

    The thing is, i dont feel depressed or anything....well occasionally il think about suicide but this is because i feel sooooooo ill all of the time and i just want a release from it.

    I wake up in the morning and feel sick, and this normally lasts until i go to bed and fall asleep. I lost my girlfriend of 7 years because of my nausea ( i wouldnt go out and wouldnt eat ).

    i have a new girlfriend who is very understanding and says my illness will not effect our relationship....but deep down i know that inevitably it is going to cause problems.

    But back to the pills.......i have read some of the posts and i have noticed some people talking about impotence, sex drive, nausea etc.

    I already feel sick everyday and hope that these pills dont make me any worse because i dont know if i could handle it sad

    I know everyone is different but is nausea a common side effect?

    What will a dose of 60mg do to me? will i be a zombie?

    Are these pills any good?

    I just want to get better....ive lived like this for the past 4 years and nothing has helped up to now. Ive had a so many drugs prescribed to me over the years and none of them have helped...including prozak and even anti nausea pills like domperidone and prochlorperazine.

    Could anxiety really be the reason for my nausea??? Ive had the camera down the throat, multiple blood tests, and scans. None of which showed anything sad

    I think depression and anxiety are a bi product of the real problem.....but its finding the under lying problem which has the doctors stumped.

  • Posted

    Hi Rob

    Unfortunately, nausea can be quite a common side effect from Citalopram (and anti depressants in general) but it is important to remember that everyone is different and will react to different drugs in different ways.

    I didn't suffer from nausea at all when taking Citalopram or Mirtazapine but it started straight away when the doctor put me on Venlafaxine!! Also, any effects hopefully will diminish once your body adjusts to the medication. If the effects are unbearable, do speak to your doctor again. Try not to worry at this stage about the effect 60MG will have on you. You may never need to take that much. As I understand it, 60MG is the maximum dose a GP can/will prescribe and I would expect that he/she will increase your dose gradually if required in consultation with you. I imagine he/she will want to see you in a couple of weeks to see how you are progressing and adjusting to the medication.

    Hopefully Citalopram will ultimately work for you and take the edge off your anxiety to improve your quality of life but if not, there will be different drugs that you can try in discussion with your GP. He/she thinks it may help you, so what is there to lose by giving it a try? You'll see lots of opinion and comment on here, some good, some bad but at the end of the day, there is no substitute for proper, informed medical support and discussion with a GP that you trust.

    Finally, I wonder if some sort of counselling might help you in conjunction with Citalopram? Forgive me for mentioning it if you have already explored this route previously and it has not helped.

    Best regards and let us know how you get on.

  • Posted

    Hi Stiltman,

    cheers for the reply.

    I was having CBT for sometime last year but that never seemed to have helped at all.

    I finally got to the point where i never bothered going to the docs for help and i just carried on with the nausea sad no medication...nothing.

    But it has got to the point now where i dont want to lose any more of my life and any more people that i hold close to me.

    I took one of the pills yesterday and all it did was make me feel drunk lol, so im going to try them at night.....as i dont have to drive or anything then lol

    i really appreciate your reply, and in a way im glad that im not the only person suffering........if you know what i mean? lol

  • Posted

    Hi Rob

    Sorry to hear that the CBT didn't work out for you. Hopefully the Citalopram will help. I used to take it at night as well which I think may I have been a reason why I was not troubled too badly with side effects like nausea and dizzyness. The reason I came off them though was the insomnia they caused me.

    Yes, this site is a blessing. It has helped me in some dark times sad . It is reassuring to know you're not the only one battling the demons!

    From your last post, you know you want your life back and that's a major step in the right direction.

    Good luck and best wishes.

  • Posted

    Soooo i have been taking these pills for just over 2 weeks now and i can see no difference in the way i feel.

    The only thing that i have noticed is that i cant orgasm anymore....which is obviously not very good considering sex is about the only thing i could still enjoy sad

    Im going to keep taking them for now but if this doesnt change soon then im going to have to come off these pills.


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