Just struggling alittle.

First of all, you're probably not dumb.  You've realized a problem, and in a well articulated manner conveyed it to people who you know have experience suffering the same sorts of things and realize you need and want help.  That's an amazing place to be, because it means you're not oblivious to your problems and you sincerely want to move forward.  You have goals, that's another positive.  You could just give up and say screw the future, but you haven't.  That's a major positive.  Second, you don't need to apologize for posting, that's exactly what we're for.  You can't compare problems together, because they're all subjective.  What cripples you may not cripple another, but it works the other way around too.  Problems are problems and severity doesn't really matter if your problems are getting you down.  They're important to you and that's what matters.  You seem much less sunk than you probably feel.  Being stuck in an environment you don't like will definitely make things feel worse, and being stuck in the employment loop even worse.  Therapy works just as much as you put back into it.  So my advice would be to start small with being mindful of your thoughts while they're happening.  Don't let yourself beat yourself up like you did in your post here.  You're worth the time and effort to try and reach your goals, and don't let your confidence slip there.  Start by noticing when you're getting angry, and stop and ask yourself if the response you're giving is warranted for the stimuli you received.  Maybe think up some kind of mantra, when you start to get too angry you can practice reciting to yourself that will calm you down or divert your thoughts to something more positive.  Instead of thinking violent things stop yourself and say something like, "I'm worth more making myself feel like s**t right now."  Because you are.  Try going to therapy if you can and try practicing the attitude that it will work and you will get what you want out of life, and don't let those negative thoughts keep creeping in and telling you otherwise.  I know it's cliche, but you're your own worst enemy.  Best is to start very small with turning yourself into your own ally.  If you ever just need someone to talk to, I'm open for private messages if you need to clear your head or something.  Message me and ramble away.

You would do well on Ativan or Clonazepam to calm you and help with the bus trips. If you need your parents help just take it that's what there for. You need to get out there while your young. Job hunting isn't much fun but you will find something. Tell your doctor you have anxiety issue's or panic attacks which is keeping you home. You are not dumb....either noboby is.You have many years to accomplish something, just one step at a time. You are not trapped, be honest with your family and doctor they are on your side. Maybe join a youth group also your not alone in this.. I've talked to 50yr olds that are in your shoes. Keep positive