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I'll try to keep to the cliff notes, but there's so much to say..
I've been on Venlafaxine for about 10yrs & for (almost) the last 2yrs I've been really struggling. I was on a whopping dose, but slowly I've managed to reduce it down to 150mg per day which I’ve been on for the last 5 yrs (can’t seem to get lower than that without crashing), but as I say the last couple of years have been hard & getting harder.
I, like others have noticed the difference between the capsule & table form. I have the slow release tablets, but they are not the same as the capsules (no matter what anyone says!). I don't know why, but they are. When the tablets were first introduced I'd sometimes get capsules & sometimes tablets. After a year of yo-yoing between the two types, it was clear that I was better on capsules & went downhill on the tablet form, but GP states they are the same... They maybe, but they don't work the same.
On top of that I've had a new boss at work & there's been huge change. My job is unrecognisable to what it was 2yrs ago & I don't know where I am from one day to the next. I feel more like a girl Friday/Gofer.
Anyway that’s not helping either & I’m feeling so stuck as our home comes with our jobs, so to change means to move & we can’t afford that. My hubby tries so hard to understand, but see’s that I’m struggling very much under the new bosses.
I’m darn good at what my job was & I’ve adjusted & taken on the extra work of the people who used to work under me before they all left, yet my boss makes me doubt my worth & I know she doesn’t mean to. I also have to run her business sometimes while she’s away & as I only step in & out of it every few months, it’s hard to remember everything, especially as I’ve never been given more than 5mins training. I make silly mistakes & she’s understandably cross about it, so calls me up outside work & puts me under pressure. I.e. we we’re an hour before collecting our son for his 18th birthday party & she phones to have a pop about me sending the wrong patterned item to someone (silly error, but her timing..) so I spent the next hour or so in tears. Yesterday was my day off & she called in the morning to say I’d possibly sent the wrong size to someone (the customer hasn’t been in-touch, but she thinks I have) & I also sent a parcel 1st when it should have been 2nd class. Result, I spent the rest of my day feeling really low & get a banging head by lunch, which wrecked my night’s sleep & is still growing now = I’m off sick. I never did sick since my breakdown 10 years ago, yet I must have had 2+ weeks off sick in the last 20 months.
So what am I asking? I guess I’m looking for a bit of support & maybe some pointers to any useful literature that I can point my boss towards, to see if she can try to understand mental health & also how 150mg of happy pills fuzzes my head (mornings are always the worst & when all my silly errors occur). Of 60+ orders over the last week, I’ve made 3 silly errors (that I know of) & won over a hard grumpy customer, as well as trying to do my own job.Just feel I need a way out & as my lottery win didn’t come about again last night, I can’t seem to see one. I can feel that horrid darkness nipping at my edges & I’m so tired of battling it. Everything seems to be a flipping battle!
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