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Just trying to keep living.

Posted , 4 users are following.

ShadowClaw
ShadowClaw

Okay so, I've been on my medication now for 6 weeks and I am fully aware the antidepressants are gonna take 2-4 weeks longer to fully be effective. But every damn day now I keep feeling like such a big disappointment to my parents because I never wanna do anything because of my low energy and lack of motivation. I cant help how I'm feeling right now and they keep thinking I'm using this as an excuse to not do things. Yeah sure, an excuse, well maybe if I killed myself then it wouldn't be a god damn excuse anymore. 

2 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • Adldiane
    Adldiane ShadowClaw

    Posted

    Hello Shadowclaw. You are doing fine by not doing things that you just don't feel like it won't always be this way. Your parents are probably trying to help you by getting you out of the house. But right now you are still trying to adjust to the meds and get the depression under control. You are doing great! Good on you for going to the doctor and helping yourself. Diane b

    • ShadowClaw
      ShadowClaw Adldiane

      Posted

      Tiredness and low motivation, those are defineitly my biggest problems right now but I know those are down to the meds. It just sucks that no one here at home understands fully what this feels like. 
  • Adldiane
    Adldiane ShadowClaw

    Posted

    Hi Shadow your parents are like lots of other people they just don't understand depression and the side effects of the meds. I am sure that they love you and would do anything in the world for you. 

    But I know you need their support and it hurts to be in the same house and be hurting and not get their arms around you and just hold you and say things will get better. They would Shadow if they knew what they were doing! We will do that for you here and thanks for giving us that chance. Diane 

    • ShadowClaw
      ShadowClaw Adldiane

      Posted

      You're welcome, I just want so badly for all of this inner pain and suffering to go away though.....

  • Adldiane
    Adldiane ShadowClaw

    Posted

    Hi Shadow I think that is the most natural feeling in the world. Have you thought about trying to take walks? All through these trying times walks have saved my sanity. I walk fast too the faster the better or running which ever is your favorite. It takes away all that I insane thinking and the knot in my gut. Just a thought. Hang in there. Diane. 
    • ShadowClaw
      ShadowClaw Adldiane

      Posted

      I just spoke with someone from the crisis team, I think what I NEED to go is stay occupied. Instead of sitting in racing through all these negative thoughts. Maybe get a bike and go riding or something or do more days at my part time job. 
    • carmela45627
      carmela45627 ShadowClaw

      Posted

      Shadow please get help along with keeping busy please talk to a Doctor too please stay with us
  • carmela45627
    carmela45627 ShadowClaw

    Posted

    NO! You are not a disappointment! It is the disease playing with your mind. Please be patient with the meds and call your doctor and tell them how you are feeling please? You deserve to be happy and safe if you must go to the hospital and tell them about your diucidsl thoughts please get help don’t let this disease get the best of you please
    • ShadowClaw
      ShadowClaw carmela45627

      Posted

      I know its the mental illness, but it also feels like its me in the worst of times telling myself all this bad stuff. I NEED to keep myself more occupied, instead of sitting and waiting for these meds to work. 
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