Just under a year into a relationship....

My biggest issue is that there was a trauma in that SPECIFIC area during a sexual encounter that we had. The skin (sorry for the TMI) got stuck in his teeth when he was performing oral. There was a small skin injury there, the way it looks is really really really just throwing me off. He's aware im going to get it looked at, but he doesnt know im this concerned about it. I have OCD and anxiety so i literally havent been able to let it go at all. We talked about testing at the beginning of our relationship, but it hasnt been an ongoing conversation. ideally id like to talk to him about it before, but if he reacts negatively i think id be even more stressed than i am right now which is already at a max level. If i test positive, the conversation will onbviously happen anyways, and i think even if i test negative ill broach the subject again

i also know that its likely that he transmitted it to me and i dont want him to think im blaming him somehow

I understand your anxiety! Ive been there myself and understand the stress of the situation. I could not sleep or eat. I ended up being positive for genital herpes type 1 (mine was a full blown breakout). its been about a year and a half since then and I am completely unphased by it now. I havent had another breakout, and I am actually upset at myself for letting it ruin my self esteem for so long. My senior year of college was ruined, and not because I had herpes but because of my reaction to it! It felt like the end of the world (even before I got my result) so i know what you are feeling. I hope this brings you some comfort!! Its good that he knows about it and that you are getting it checked out. At least it wouldnt come to as much as a surprise this way! how long ago was this trauma incident? If its within the same week it is likely just that and only that

It was AT MOST 10 days. Meaning that the trauma happened about 10 days ago, i started getting concerned about 5 days ago and monday morning (tomorrow morning) is the soonest i could get in to be seen. it never blistered that i noticed at least, and while it was painful for a few days i attributed that to the fact that the skin got literally stuck in his teeth lol. I really dont have any other symptoms that ive noticed. now im going insane, checking every 3 hours, and convinced every tickle or tingle i feel is a blister forming. i know that herpes in and of itself isnt the end of the world, but the stigma is ingrained in me for sure and i really dont know how my boyfriend will react. IF i do have it, either ive had it a while and didnt know and this is my first break out, or he has it and doesnt know and transmitted it to me but theres really no way to tell from what i gather.

If it is herpes, it is more likely to be from him.

With wounds/open skin the virus has a direct route into your body and then the infection would start in that same area 2-14 days later. It could spread all over the place or your immune system could attack it and keep it isolated to that spot. If he is a carrier of oral herpes (like 80% of the population) even if he doesnt get cold sores, he could have been contagious that day, and transfered it because his mouth was touching the wound. (this is actually how I got it)

Like you said, it is possible you already had it but this is not as likely and would be a major coincidence..

Also, it could be just a wound! usually one would at least start to heal by now, but perhaps it got a little infected. (afterall, human bites or injuries involving human mouths can get infected very easily).

So at my appointment, my doctor said she would be surprised if the test came back positive. In this 10 days, I've also had a yeast infection (it's been a brutal 10 days) that she thinks just added to the trauma situation especially considering the fact that the medication for the yeast infection cleared up almost everything but didn't actually remove the cut/lesion/whatever you want to call it which is to be expected since skin takes time to heal obviously. Because of the anxiety/obsessive thoughts I've had, she's going to call even if it's negative so that I'm not panicking every time my phone rings.

Good to hear! Fingers crossed for you, and keep me updated!

So based on the way everything looked at my appointment monday, i get why my doctor said what she said. However, i KNOW my body and i KNOW that i have herpes especially consider the brand spanking new cluster of blisters i have. i talked to my boyfriend, and all is well. his response was essentially "They have meds for that, im not mad, and for all we know i couldve given it to you." Further into our discussion, he mentioned having cold sores as a kid but, like SO many people, he never made a connection. im anticipating a positive result, but in the event of a negative or inconclusive result, have pictures for my doctor and will be demanding a blood test. in the mean time, i'm SO uncomfortable. Is there an OTC med I can take to help?

Ah yes, I got it from someone who had coldsores as a kid and didnt make the connection. Its so nice that you have such a supportive boyfriend! I dont think I have ever heard a disclosing story gone bad. For the discomfort, unfortunately nothing helped me immediately 😦 .. The worst part was when they broke open and were raw skin but this phase only lasted a couple of days and then its uphill from there. (sorry for the extreme TMI you are about to get).. I had a sore right near my urethra and peeing was the worst part for me, if you can relate, keep a cup in the bathroom and each time you have to go fill it up with water and slowly pour it on yourself as you go, this dilutes it and relives pain. I know someone who had many in that spot and only peed in the bathtub to help it. Also keep them as dry as possible and they will heal faster. Maybe sleep completely bottomless and use a blow dryer when there is a lot of moisture down there.. No underwear unless its cotton granny panties, no tight jeans, and nothing that would rub in that area. At one point I was so uncomfortable and it kind of felt like I didnt want them exposed to the open air. So i literally slept with a papertowel shoved inbetween my legs to act as a "bandaid" directly on the sores which absorbed moisture and also provided some relief, however i am not sure if others would reccomend this.

I would not reccomend putting any kind of paste or cream or anything on them. Avoid baths as much as possible and take showers. Did the doctor give you antivirals? if not call NOW to inform her that it spread and you want them.. This wont relieve current discomfort but it will prevent new sores from showing up and shorten the length of the outbreak.

I am not sure the extent of the discomfort you are in, so i apologize if any if the things I mentioned seem completely strange or scary! but I hope they help to some degree.