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Just wanted to give some reassurance

Posted , 11 users are following.

allie27
allie27

A lot of the posts on here are pretty down or worried, understandably. My own story included.

Because of that, I wanted to say that -- while it's only been 2 months since diagnosis with HSV1 genitally -- it gets better. Several developments:

  • I don't take antivirals daily, but do have them on hand in case of an outbreak. I wanted to see how many my body got without the meds before deciding to take them every day.
  • I am dating my ex again, who gladly goes down on me and we have a great sex life.
  • We don't use condoms. (And I've said when an outbreak comes, we won't have sex.)
  • He's gotten no symptoms.
  • I haven't gotten any tingling, itching or sores so far. (Fingers crossed!)
  • I do still get worried about irritation that appears after I close shave everything, but it's been okay.
  • Most days I don't even think about it anymore.
  • Nice-guy-going-nowhere and Won't-talk-to-me-again-guy (who both know I have HSV1) reached out to start things up again. I guess they had time to process. But I'd already started dating my ex again. My main point there is that people still find me attractive and worth more than the diagnosis. Even if things don't work out with my ex-now-boyfriend, while some people may never come around, it reassures me that others will come around after time.

    Best of luck to everyone!

9 likes, 15 replies

15 Replies

  • Ahhh123
    Ahhh123 allie27

    Posted

    thats wonderful! happy for you! once you get past the stigma you can live a happy life. so many people need to read this

  • queen_23523
    queen_23523 allie27

    Posted

    this helped alot . so does ur ex (current) boyfriend not have herpes? you guys jus avoid it around the time of a outbreak? im scared i may have it and dont wanna put any body at risk in the future if me and my boydriend break up

    • allie27
      allie27 queen_23523

      Posted

      I'm glad it helped!

      He got tested right after I got my first outbreak symptoms, and it was negative. But I know early blood tests can be inconclusive if he'd just gotten it. So far I'd say he is in one of two boats... (1) he doesn't have it or (2) Sometimes he gets these red irritated bits by his nose, which he had when he went down on my at the first outbreak. That might be HSV1, but was contracted too early for a blood test to show. He's not gotten re-tested as he hasn't had symptoms enough to bother him, and none on his genitals.

      It's always good to take precautions. The biggest thing is not having sex during an outbreak. Condoms are recommended, but - especially where I got mine - condoms wouldn't cover the area and protect anything. So avoidance with an outbreak, I think, is best. You can shed the virus without symptoms, but I believe the risk is much lower. Additionally, men have a harder time getting the virus or are often asymptomatic.

  • Lukav
    Lukav allie27

    Edited

    Most guys, if they're really interested, aren't going to be too worried about herpes. Just think: how many guys reject a girl they love because of a cold sore on her lip, which is oral herpes? Not very many. Sure it happens, but it's the exception not the rule. So yeah, to people out there don't worry about it too much. Still tell prospect mates about it before you first have sex, of course, for the few to whom it's a big deal. And for those you can't do much about it. Move on to the next.

  • allie27
    allie27

    Edited

    Just wanted to give another update to help people coming to this forum with worries they might have some form of herpes or have been diagnosed and are going through the initial my-life-is-over depression.

    Six months after diagnosis with HSV1 genitally...

    • I don't take antivirals daily, but do have them on hand in case of an outbreak. Still true. This helps a lot with the overall worry in general. But I'm a planner and like to be prepared.
    • I am dating my ex again, who gladly goes down on me and we have a great sex life. Still mega-true. 😄
    • We don't use condoms. Still true.
    • He's gotten no symptoms. There have been some scares, but it was just excessive rubbing without wearing underwear causing some rough patches. Other than that, nothing on his genitals. I am vigilant about checking him out, especially before I go down on him since I'm right up close - and don't want to transmit to my face.
    • I haven't gotten any tingling, itching or sores so far. (Fingers crossed!) Still true!!
    • I do still get worried about irritation that appears after I close shave everything, but it's been okay. Still true, but I worry less often.
    • Most days I don't even think about it anymore. Still true. It gets better, you guys!
    • Nice-guy-going-nowhere and Won't-talk-to-me-again-guy (who both know I have HSV1) reached out to start things up again. Actually, that happened again recently haha.

    Remember: It gets better. You are still a worthwhile, sexy person with a bright future.

    Best of luck to everyone!

  • allie27
    allie27

    Edited

    UPDATE: One year after diagnosis...

    • Still don't take antivirals daily, but do have them on hand in case of an outbreak.
    • Still dating the same guy, still great sex life.
    • Still don't use condoms.
    • Still haven't seen or heard about any symptoms for him.
    • Still no outbreaks or tingle, etc. for me.
    • Still don't think about it most days.
    • I don't know if it does anything, but I always rinse of my mouth and lower face after I go down on my boyfriend. And I have both of us wash our hands anytime my lady bits are fiddled with.

    Remember: It gets better. You are still a worthwhile, sexy person with a bright future.

    • ale9267
      ale9267 allie27

      Edited

      thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing a 1 year update! i was just diagnosed and feel like my world has been toppled over. this is so comforting and reassuring

    • allie27
      allie27 ale9267

      Edited

      I'm sorry about your diagnosis; I'm sure it's been really rough for you. 😦

      BUT, I meant what I said in the update -- it really gets better!

      I maybe felt like complete garbage about myself for... 3 months? And now I wish I didn't have it, sure... but my self-esteem isn't low about it anymore. It feels like anything else in your life you have to take care of, if that makes sense? Like if I needed to take insulin. It's annoying and important and something to be aware of, but manageable.

      I'm glad the update helped you. 😃) Hang in there!

  • allie27
    allie27

    Edited

    UPDATE: Just thinking about how helpful it would've been to see updates from long-timers when I first got diagnosed, so I wanted to circle back!

    Two years later...

    • Still don't take antivirals daily, but do have them on hand in case of an outbreak.
    • Still dating the same guy, still great sex life.
    • We do use condoms for birth control.
    • Still haven't seen or heard about any symptoms for him.
    • Still no outbreaks or tingle, etc. for me. I was worried when I got laser hair removal, because I heard that can aggravate them, but nothing happened (have had 7 sessions so far).
    • Still don't think about it most days.
    • No longer obsessive about having us wash our hands or his mouth anytime my bits are fiddled with.

    Remember: It gets better. You are still a worthwhile, sexy person with a bright future.

    • Guest
      Guest allie27

      Posted

      how did u know u had herpes before?

    • allie27
      allie27 Guest

      Posted

      Got diagnosis from doctor. You can see the whole situation and photos of outbreak here.

  • allie27
    allie27

    Posted

    ~3 years after diagnosis with HSV1 genitally, all of the following is still true:

    • I don't take anti-virals, but do have them on hand in case of an outbreak.
    • Still with same partner, who gladly goes down on me and we have a great sex life.
    • We don't use condoms. We use for birth control primarily.
    • He's gotten no symptoms.
    • I haven't gotten any tingling, itching, or sores. I have a ton of anxiety and worried that would cause a lot of outbreaks, but so far so good.
    • I got laser hair removal so I really don't need to shave anymore and that helps me not worry about cuts and irritation.
    • Most days I don't even think about it anymore.

    Remember: It gets better. You are still a worthwhile, sexy person with a bright future.

    Keep your head up and best of luck to everyone!

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