Just when I thought I made it through - BAM!

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So, because of physical symptoms of heavy head, headaches,  leg weakness, etc., and no medical explanation after tests, I was diagnosed with the physical symptoms of depression and started taking prozac on November 18.  As everyone has stated, it gets worse before better.  It was hell but I pushed through, 4 week,s 6 week,two months, 12 weeks.  Finally, after about 14 weeks I began to see a breakthrough - I would say I was between 95-99% percent there and feeling like I had weathered this horrible storm - then, all of a sudden, with no provication or emotional strain, etc., bam!  it hit me again - hte heavy headedness, tightness.  I was thining by the 16th week I had madeit, but I had also heard from some on this forum that just when you think you are there, this disease gives you one more kick in the gut.  Has anyobdy else been so close and then been knocked back again at this stage (16 weeks or so).  Any encouragement would help.

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  • Posted

    Hi Ronvis yes I hit a back patch about 5 weeks ago so upped my medication. I started on 20 mg mid November same as you . Gone upto 40 mg on week six nearly and I'm feeling a huge improvement. Going back to work next hopefully. May what dosage are you on ? Have you tried counselling or meditation?

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your quick response.  I'm on 20mg and I do see improvement, I'm so much better than before, but it's just these physical symptoms that popped back up, just wasn't expecting a step back although everyone had warned me about it.  I'm working, going out, taking the occasional trips, just don't feel like I present when it hits.  No counseling, some meditation not much, but acupuncture which does have meditation within the process.  I have thought many times about upping it, but I have decided to stay the course as I do feel it's working - just soooooooooo slow.  And I thought I was there. so that's what sucks.

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    • Posted

      Yes so so slow working . Where through the hard bit . Keep positive . My doctor always to me you will walkways have anxiety but it's how you manage it - is the important bit . Still have some physical symptoms too .

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  • Posted

    Recovery usually comes in waves - 3 steps forward / 2 steps back - all the way.  Yes you can think you've made it through only to be floored by all those symptoms again.  You're still going through recovery - its just your body adjusting still.  It took me 6 months, and even after that I'd occasonally take a backward step, though it wasn't as hard as the earlier ones.

    Just carry on - understand this is a blip and it'll pass.  You might get more of them, but remember they're part of recovery and let them go by.  Over time they will get less intense and eventually cease to happen.

    K x

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    • Posted

      thank you Katecogs!  I was onboard with the slow process and had come to grips with the physicial symptoms and the pain as part of the recovery and I was doing really well in letting them go by-almost accepting them as just one more step toward the end of thge tunnel.  I guess after the 16 week, feeling that I had made it through the tunnel, it was just a shock to the system to have the symptoms reoccur.  At 52, I have never expereinced anything like this.  I had some medical issues that are being handled - but that was the stress that blew my fuse back in the fall.  It's like every part of me is fine and ready to move on - my brain is just not coming along with  me.  

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    • Posted

      Yep - its usually stress that starts this.  Your body will only take so much stress before it boils over, and often results in anxiety.   You can then get stuck in a cycle of being anxious about anxiety. Then it starts playing on the emotions, physical aches/pains, thoughts (the list goes on), creating more anxiety, which in turn you then get anxious about again.  Feeds itself.

      I've been there - been anxiety free in that first year and then out of the blue it hit me again.  You think you've risen above it and can cope if it comes back - but each time it does, it floors you.  I think you just forget how it feels.  But everytime it comes back just do the same thing - let it be there, carry on, try not to feed it more anxiety and it'll ease off in time.  It gets easier each time.

      It was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through too.  Nobody can ever understand what its like unless they've experienced this.  I found it terrifying.  Having this 'breakdown' is simply your body telling you it can't take any more stress.

      It takes a long time of stress to become like this, so remember it will take an equal amount of time to reverse it.  Your body has become sensitised - nerves become super responsive to everything, even sound ..... and it'll take time to become desentised again.  It will happen though.

      There's a fabulous website and book link somebody gave me, which in turn I pass onto lots of others.  I can message you the links (can't post on here as it'll get deleted by the moderators).

      K

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