Kidney cancer and depression

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in feb 2012 i was diagnosed with renal cell cancer in my left kidney . it was a 14cm tumour and i had the kidney removed and a few complications later i am at home and hopefully recovering BUT i cant get the fear of it returning out of my mind. my scans for last 18 months have been clear but that dosnt make me feel any better i am still terrified that it will return and as seen as i had no symptoms before i am afraid that if it does return i wont know till my 6 monthly scan. i am under doctor for anxiety and depression and am on fluoxetine . i want to know is this normal to be this terrified cos atm i fear even leaving the house i am that bad? my doc says i need to get a job volunteering but i cant face people atm so that wont help and i get no benefits at all cos wife works part time so finding it harder and harder to make ends meet

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  • Posted

    Hello trotts, I too had kidney cancer and had my kidney removed and tumour July this year. It is a scary time and I can understand why you feel you have anxiety. I have two suggestions for you.

    The first is to go back to your gp and ask for cognitive behavioural therapy (cbt) this will really help you, you can still take medication if needed but it will help with the anxiety and constant worrying. It will help you put things into perspective and hopefully be able to move forward.

    Secondly, My husband told me to ask you, what occupation you did before you got ill.

    continued sorry pressed button.

    Their is help out there depending on your occupation, you can access grants and somebody can look at your financies. My husband is a gardener and perrenial helped him with money situation.

    You can access macmillian who also offer grants and benefit questions. Also debtline are useful they can find things you didn't know existed.

    please get back to me, I have been through this myself and feel I may be able to help.

    Whatever you decide to do cbt would be my first stop.

    Hope you find this helpful and not too pushy, its just I know exactly where your coming from.

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  • Posted

    Ty for replying fluffy, i have been back to docs and have been moved to stage 3 of poesis which i think involves some kind of pyshyological help to help me get over the fear in my head. not 100% sure about this .

    as for reply to your husband i used to work for the nhs as a records clerk for 7 years before and got dismissed 10 months before being diagnosed cos i was catching every virus going. i have been told by the consultant who is treating me who i know from working there that this is a normal thing as my immune system would have been nearly non exsisent. ( so much for the caring NHS). i have tried to contact an old friend who came back to me when i was on icu and it sounds strange cos i dont believe in this stuff either with a nurse waking me up to tell me i was dreaming and asking me what about so i told her it was this old friend and she suggested i contacted her cos over the next 5 years i was going to need a good friend. when i told the nurses who was looking after me if i got thru it i would they looked at me blank and the description of the nurse i gave didnt match anyone on ICU, so that i thought was a sign or something. anyway this old friend who is a qualified clinical lead pyshiothearpist basically told me to get lost and kicked me in the teeth ( again so much for caring NHS). atm i feel so alone even tho i have a wife and kids i dont feel i can tell them everything that is going thru my head cos some of the stuff even scares me. so as you can see and probably tell i am really low atm and sorry to burden you with this but once again ty for replying and caring.

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  • Posted

    Sorry for not replying sooner but sometimes don't check mail. Glad at least your talking on here. But please look at my previous email because it did help us. At the very least you need to talk to somebody about whats going on with you, if not family, friend then counselling Macmillian offer this free of charge and they are experienced and excellent.

    I do hope you take this advice because you sound alone and scared, you need to tell somebody how you are feeling.

    When you think of it, your friend who visited you even said your going to need someone to talk too. That was a strange experience for you, but yes maybe thats the message your supposed to hear?

    Take care and go well.

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  • Posted

    tyvm fluffy for your kindness. i have now been refered to receive CBT and had my medication changed so hopefully that in itself will maybe help me gain some self belief. you are right i am scared but as far as the cancer returning goes i am in the hands of one person only now for that.
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