Lack Of Sensation During Sex.

Posted , 4 users are following.

I hope this is okay to post about but I'm hoping that some of you ladies here might be able to help me.

Last year I got my sex drive back and I was so thrilled after not feeling this way for several years. I do suffer dryness and I take Vagifem twice weekly to help with this, although I'm not sure if it is helping really. I'm noticing that when we have sex, I feel numb and the sensation isn't as strong as it should be. It's really upsetting me because I enjoy sex but this is an issue that is stopping me from enjoying it even more. It's really getting me down now. 

I do have an appointment to see my doctor on the 1st of March and, fingers crossed, she'll be able to suggest something. I'll buy whatever will help but I've no idea what I need. I hope someone can help or give me some advice. Thank you for reading.

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  • Posted

    First make sure the vagifem is doing the job intended.  Are your tissues healed?  Do you have moisture?  Is sex comfortable?  Your doctor should be able to look and make sure things are good.  If you are questioning dryness, it may not be enough.

    Second, it may be a combination of estrogen and progesterone that you need.  

    Third, are there is plenty of experts who suggest that testosterone may be helpful in restoring a woman's libido, and sensations.  However, it is also suggested that you must get your estrogen high enough to allow for testosterone without many unwanted side effects.

    Isn't this the pits!  Who told us years ago, that someday even our sexuality would be an isssue?   It's a cruel side of aging and losing our hormone base.    

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    • Posted

      It's one of the reasons gailannie that I want to talk to the doctor about because I'm now in the belief that the Vagifem isn't working. I've no wounds and sex isn't painful, although it's uncomfortable, but I'm still itching and very dry. I was hoping lubrication may help but, I think the numbness won't be remedied by that. 

      I'm willing to try the testosterone to see if that helps. I'm loving the new me. I've lost 6 stone in weight, "effectively cured" my Diabetes as a doctor told me recently so no medication and by the end of the year, no diagnosis of that, fingers crossed. I couldn't be happier so this is disrupting that for me and sex has become important again. We couldn't have sex for about 5 years as my husband got a Neuropathic condition in 2011 and he couldn't perform so this is huge to both of us, (although me moreso). Sorry for rambling but I know many of you here understand.

      I used to look at the Menopause and think..okay, it's part of getting older. Now I realise just how much we have to do in order to try and counteract how it affects us. Thanks gailannie xx.

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    • Posted

      Yes, that's exactly where I'm at right now. How do I counteract some of it's effects?   I just got remarried 5 years ago.  I remember the first time I had painful sex. What a turn off.  Honestly, I'd rather not take any medication, but at a certain point this becomes about quality of life.   When you have vaginal atrophy and dryness, it's no fun!   We lose healthy cells in the vagina, which allow the tissue to be flexible and resilient.  Our PH changes and allows the area to become vulnerable in infection.   

      What I think many women miss, is that if you just ignore it, it doesn't go way it simply gets worse over time. My sister did nothing, now her tissue tears and bleeds with sex.  I 've heard of women who have pain just walking because this area is so bad.  UTI, and other infections become an issue when the tissue is so deficient.  

      I think what makes me mad, is how many things change when we lose our sex steriods.  I'm not surprised you are having better information with diabetes, as I've read that estrogen helps insulin get sugar in and out of cells.  (Well kept secret)   Or that you've lost weight, many authors write about our bodies growing fatter after menopause in an attempt to create estrone from fat cells.  There is a never ending list of things that change when we lose estrogen, testosterone, and progesterone.  And none of this is easy.  Not even trying to find a HRT that works well.  It's all about balance.  And obviously that balance is currently part of your issue.  Is it enough estrogen?  Do you need progesterone?  Is a a lack of testosterone causing an issue?  And how do we get it in?  

      This getting older thing actually stinks!  And yes, I do understand. 

         

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    • Posted

      You're right gailannie, it makes me so mad that we go through what we do and just when we are ready to enjoy the next phase, the Menopause throws these obstacles in our way. I've never been so disheartened and I'm so grateful to have an understanding husband and others who know how it feels. Why shouldn't women be able to enjoy their older years. Fingers crossed, I can get some help with this. A very informative post and thank you x.

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  • Posted

    How did you get your sex drive back?  Did you do anything special?  Take anything special?
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    • Posted

      I think it's a culmination of things beth to be honest. I was 50 in November 2015 and last year I started doing a lot of reflecting and realising that me and my husband needed to do more things together now our boys are older. I love him dearly and just wanted to enhance that and he'd been thinking the same way. 

      I realised that sex was becoming important to me again and I wished I'd have felt this way years ago. That's why I'm so frustrated and upset about it now. Definitely several things coming together but I can't be anymore specific than that really. Good luck to you beth xx.

       

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    • Posted

      Well it probably never left.  its just that you have more time and desire to be with your husband.  Fortunately he was on the same wave lenght.  Don't wory about the past.  Its all about what's happening today.  Sex has a lot to do with what's going on in our head.  Distractions and stressors are very potent birth control.  

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    • Posted

      Thanks Beth. When someone told me to do this or that when I was younger, I'd listen but usually put it to the back of my mind. Now, when I reflect back, I can see how valuable that advice was. I'm so pleased to have a wonderful husband, although I've become a handful lol. Fingers crossed we can all enjoy our later years while tackling the perimenopause even though it isn't easy. I appreciate what you lovely ladies have said xx.

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