Skip to content
in this discussion +4 following
SuchADrag SuchADrag

Lack of sex drive and no "climax"

I've been in a 5 year relationship since I was 18, which started off very passionate and fine in the bedroom. A month or so into the relationship I started taking the pill. Since then it seems like I've lost interest in sex, and I've never had an orgasm. I think I've come close, but almost when I realise what's happening I almost panic. I struggle with anxiety, depression and self esteem issues so this probably doesn't help. If we don't have sex for maybe 1 1/2 weeks then I might get a bit of an urge, but my boyfriend has said he would like it pretty much every time I see him (4 times a week approx.). 

I don't masturbate or anything like that. We have discussed buying toys and things like that but every time we so near a shop or look online it makes me really nervous. I've tried wearing sexy undergarments and things, which are fine at the time but then I get nervous about wearing them again. Having spoken to a friend for advice she said "there's not much point trying being adventurous if you don't have the basics down", which seems to make sense too. 

Any advice? D: 


5 Replies

  • james88919 james88919 SuchADrag

    Almost 5 years is a long time to go without much a of sex drive, particularly if it was ok before that (it's not clear what your sex drive and mood was like in the years before your relationship). You should talk to your doctor, or a different doctor if your doctor tells you it can't be the pill causing your problems, and search online to see what other women are saying. The pill can have side effects, including those you describe (both sex drive and mood) so you shouldn't keep taking it if it contributing to your problems. There are other forms of birth control and there are different formulations of the pill so something other that what you are taking may work just fine. Don't keep suffering and I agree with your friend that you should work on this issue before thinking about things to spice up your love life.

  • ml66uk ml66uk SuchADrag

    I'd see a doctor if I were you.  If things changed after you starting taking the pill, you could switch to a different pill, or maybe try just using condoms or an IUD for three months to see if that makes a difference.

Report as inappropriate

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.