Lack of sleep...is there anyone there...?
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I am so tired. Icaanot sleep. Blew up at my partner .you could cut the atmosphere in this house with a carving knife. This is hell!!
Anyway, he will not leave his children, with weirdo me. So there you go, not much left for me to do. This has gone on for about 2 years. Neither of ius can apply for another council house. As we are not married, it is seen that we are housed as 2 seperated individuals, not as a couple. This really infuriates me.....how have we got 2 lovely children ...Huh?
(I ask myself that 2!)
This leaves me an option of 3 things, !..take me and my children to shelter and run as fast aspossible.
2) Carry on living with this mentally abusive person who is making me ill...I mean , I am not fat, but he seems to think so.....none of this abuse is helping!!!
3) End it all! Take my life, but too scared and I am not prepared to leave my children either!!!
Oh there is a fourth option, but I would end up in jail if I were to do that and that in turn, would probably lead to my suicide!
(Mind you,I would have done less time for murder!)
Anyway, enough, enough, enough!!!
Sorry folks, but can anyone help me out, I am so scared about the future!
My only hope for me is to get a decent job, which is going to take a couple of years to achieve, and I am not sure what to do about that one either, There iago...indecisons!
0 likes, 13 replies
Guest
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There is no way Not on this yucky planet, that I would ever let that hapen...no way! My children are my sun, my rain my earth, my blood, my motive to survive. They are lovely...and...no monster is ever going to take my children away!!
No, No NO!
I will get myself better...and get that decent job, for them! Then we will see what happens!!! Maybe, that would change all perspectives on the whole situation. maybe if we had a more comfortable existence, life would be easier, and then maybe I would not be such a mooaaan!!! Would you agree???
Anyway, huffy puff is given me the silent treatment....so he is gettng nicknamed 'zippy'....from now on!!! (What a child!!!). Iam enjoying the silence,( he he), maybe I should blow up at him more often,,,,okay...maybe not such a good idea. ( Just trying to joke a bit..its..just , so not good!) That would just make me as bad...would it not? :roll:
Me and the children had fun today anyway, so he can just go and get stuffed!!!
Guest
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Dont worry, I will not do anything stupid, just hope I win the lottery, just need a blit of luck!
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I have a little problem. I cannot sleep....is it the citalopram that is making my head buzz, buzzz, buzz, alll night long, causing this?
Does this mean I am okay, and i do not need it...or what?
I am so very tired, that I cannot function, and i am very grumpy because of the tiredness. ( I was prescribed sleeping pills, but want take them...I am too scared i sleep in , in the morning and dont get my children to school on time).
I dont know what to do. I also have an apllication form to fill out. it is vital I do this, but I just cant.
Help!
Katy :?
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Deep down, I dont really want to give up on this relationship, but I feel so unloved and so alone ,so moody.....all he does, while I am like this , is (well, what seems to me), wind me up!!!
This year has been hell! Not just because of this...but I cant get my head round so many things!!!
When my mum phoned today and started going on about her hair...I just wanted to hang up. I dont really want to go to my parents. I feel like such a failure, even though they divorced, its like, neither one of them have ever been able to forgive each other. Children shoid always come first is both their thoughts on the subject. ( Well, why was I never thought of????!)
Is that just because they are the grandparents?
So confused!!!
Katy :cry:
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My older sister seems to be a bit anorexic, and drinks more heavily than I do, or did! The consequences of seperating , just seems so scary.
For instance, when I was stalked as a student each parent passed the buck , in the end it was my sister that helped. We are very close now, sometimes too close....but she is now iaway teaching at the very end of Scotland. I miss her so.
So I am very confused, but i cant carry on crying everyday, and throwing wobblies,..and feeling like i have and will loose everything....just lost.
You talk about being north and south. with your ex wife...for us its more like....; like feeding on each others hearts, and sucking the life of goodness out of each other. Like vampires....but I dont know which one of us first sucked the blood out of the other...do you understand where i am coming from?
So someone needs to 'turn the lights on\" and maybe leave them on for a bit.
Thanks for listening, Katy
Guest
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You do sound like you have had problems, im sorry to hear that, but you do have a partner and 2 kids, that os something, u can get stuck in a rut , we did, but make sure it doesnt go too far, god, i should have listened to myself, thats the trouble, once its all over you can see where things went wrong, with the crying and wobblies, try and talk to your partner, talking works wonders, spilling your heart out, again try counselling , fear and unknown are terrible but you can control this by controlling your future to a degree, waffling again, but sit up and take control, talk to people and something may get just click and get you moving forward in something in your life, tale care, and thanks for listening to me go on and on. JA
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I dont know if counselling would help. He is so much older than me, and stuck in his ways. He has a power over me, to the point that I just feel drained. He shouts at me, and always wins, I just feel so weak, weakened, by men maybe! But its not that I am weak, I just find it difficult to keep the flow going in an argument. We were like an Angie and Den couple, but now I am not drinking bla bla, i seem to have become even more insular! This is worse! Then I just cannot sleep and worry about the future. Ja, I dont know where this is heading....im frightened and scared...but I know that I want do anything daft...I have my kids to think of.
Maybe, it will get netter...but i cannot see the light!
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