Lack of understanding by friends

Posted , 19 users are following.

First some background. I am 75 years old and I initially started experiencing PMR toward the end of December, 2017 and was diagnosed in January of 2018. I was started on 15mg/day of pred but after three days I had a panic attack that caused me to immediately reduce the dose to 7.5. I'm currently at 6mg of pred after vacillating between 5 and 6mg. My doctor (an very good internist) prefers that I stay below 7.5mg--what she calls replacement value--in order to avoid as much as possible the deleterious side effects of pred. This dose does not completely relieve me of pain and stiffness in the morning but it is not terrible, and within about five hours of taking the pred first thing in the morning I can feel relief and by mid-evening I'm really not in too bad shape. So this is the pattern that I'm assuming many of you might be familiar with.

And now to my real complaint. I live alone and it has been very difficult dealing with this disease under that circumstance, especially early on in the disease process with no support. My friends have never heard of this disease and tend to treat me as if I'm the same old person I always was before the onset of this condition which, as you all know, I am not. When I tell my friends that I have muscle pain and stiffness they tend to analogize this to transitory muscle pain they have experienced and offer all kinds of well-meaning but irrelevant advice. So I guess I'm complaining here because I feel alone with this disease with no support from people who otherwise, if I had a more obvious medical condition, would be there for me. It is a tough place to be at 75 and I just hope the PMR might relent so I might experience a few more years without it before I'm dead.

(By-the-way, I very grateful to have found this support group. I'm located in the U.S. and I could not find a support group here. I live in Atlanta, Georgia and I'd love to find a face-to-face support group here. I've looked and have yet to find one.)

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  • Posted

    Hi Andrew, I'm so sorry you're part of this club but it's a great club if you have to be here! I agree with the others that you should really look at increasing your dose of pred! If you get relief at 15mgs and reduce slowly you'll keep the benefits of the dose plus still be on low enough dose to not get any of the' bad' side effects. It's a very difficult disease to deal with, you definitely get the oh you look great, are you sure there's actually something wrong with you, kind of look!! And as we're so scattered around the globe, its difficult to find anyone close by who has it. I do feel though, if you increase your dose, you will feel better and with pacing will be better able to handle the PMR. Best of luck on your journey😊

  • Posted

    As a PMR sufferer for the past five years I can emphasise with the feeling of loneliness. I also have to care 24/7 for a husband with advanced primary progressive multiple sclerosis.

    He gets many benefits due to his condition but no physical help from anyone. I also suffer from arthritis and recently diabetes brought on by prednisolone. At least now with the diabetes I get my feet looked after regularly! 

    It is a very sad state of affairs that anyone should have to suffer such a condition without help. I haven’t even been referred to a rheumatologist once in 5 years. Just given the brush off and the bloody prednisolone which I call prednis alone. 

    Oh well they say it might remit within six years! I had another rare autoimmune condition for eight years before they found a medication for it. 

    I had a very bad choking incident last Friday resulting in intercostal muscle damage which was so painful I was convinced I was having a heart attack.

    I was alone because no one could hear me in the night and I had no voice or strength to get to any help.

    I have spent the past three days on high dose codeine  three times a day. No other meds at all... not even Pred.  Sleeping loads and pain free at last.  Trouble is I don’t want to wake up!

    • Posted

      If the codeine is working better than the prednisone should your doctor be questioning whether you have PMR any more?
    • Posted

      My heart truly goes out to you. I wish I could offer words of advice that might relieve your burden. In this life I guess we just have to play the cards we are dealt even if it is a bad hand, but I understand sometimes it takes all the strength you can muster to carry on. I've reached the conclusion in my old age that life is basically luck both good and bad. Again, I wish you the strength to carry on, all the while knowing that the PMR may go into remission at some point.

  • Posted

    It's mostly all been said by others and I add my sympathy and welcome to theirs.

    Yes, Pred. has side effects as do most drugs but it's the only one that controls PMR pain so what are we supposed to do?  We do seem to vary with our responses so I always feel indignant that so many medics have this knee jerk "must reduce as fast as possible" reaction. I would like to ask them about the long term effects of uncontrolled inflammation and pain and how they compare with steroids.

    I am very interested in the panic attack that precipitated the fast reduction. One of my adverse reactions was an intolerable over the top hyper feeling. I didn't describe it as a panic attack at the time and would not know how they are defined. I just told my GP that I couldn't live with being so wound up. His, at the time, unusual suggestion was to try taking the Pred. at night. " Perhaps you'll sleep through the hyper", he said.  It worked. I was taking steroids for five years after that,  adjusting the dose to suit the pain. I have now been PMR "free" for almost five years and the only long term effect has been fragile skin but that could just as well be due to age.        ( I'm 86 ).

    As others have said, your friends need educating. Show them some of the entries on this forum.

    Have a look at the links on the home page of this forum. Lots of well-informed information there that should convince them you are not a hypochondriac.

    We may only be virtual friends but we have all benefited immensely from " knowing" each other.

    • Posted

      Thank you BettyE for taking the time to respond. What I described as a panic attack at the 15mg dose of pred taken over three days was uncontrollable anxiety like I just wanted to jump out of my skin. As I live alone and I did not want to be alone while experiencing this mental state, I got in my car and drove over to the house of my nearest friends. This was the very first dosing regimen my doctor prescribed after my initial diagnosis and I cut it in half immediately without my doctor's consent. I've been below the 7.5mg threshold ever since (currently at 6mg) and my condition has improved but ever so gradually. My stiffness is most pronounced first thing in the morning but by night, say, after 7 PM it is not bad at all. I do all my chores at the end of day.  My doctor does not want my to go above the 7.5mg dose because of the increased likelihood of long-term side effects (osteoporosis, glaucoma, diabetes,etc.) which scare me sufficiently that I'm willing to deal with the discomfort (more stiffness than actual pain) rather than risking any of these. I guess everyone makes their own choice in these matters: pain/stiffness vs. side effects. I am however, starting today, going to take a split dose, 3mg pred in the morning and 3mg before I go to bed and see if that relieves some of the initial morning stiffness.

      By-the-way, at 86 you sound sharp as a tack. I hope, should I reach 86, that I'm as mentally alert as you apparently are. Also, glad to hear that you have your PMR under control for such an extended period of time. That is a blessing. Thank you again for responding.

    • Posted

      Hello Andrew - I'm new to this forum too, and I'm also new to PMR - I just started taking pred yesterday. The illness and treatment are both a steep learning curve for me. Like you, I'd rather have a low dose of pred and some discomfort, rather than a high dose of pred and the higher risk of side effects... but I do realise I could change my mind by tomorrow! I'm all at sixes and sevens at the moment, trying to take it all in! 

      Sorry you are feeling isolated by your friends' reaction to PMR. The Arthritis Research UK website has a very good concise description of PMR - perhaps you should print it out and give them a copy! 

      https://www.arthritisresearchuk.org/arthritis-information/conditions/polymyalgia-rheumatica/symptoms.aspx

    • Posted

      You have to be very careful about accepting some pain in exchange for a lower dose of pred. If you are not taking enough pred to mop up all the new daily dose of inflammation then, like a dripping tap into a bucket the inflammation may eventually build up until you are back in the same state as you were intitially and requiring a much higher dose to manage it. If you end up allowing yourself to get into a yoyo situation with the dose it can become increasingly difficult to get it under control.

      and actually - at these levels, the side effects are minimal:

      https://www.practicalpainmanagement.com/resources/news-and-research/polymyalgia-rheumatica-steroid-side-effects-new-findings

      And if you want an article that expresses what PMR does to us try Helen Twohig's work:

      https://healthunlocked.com/pmrgcauk/posts/134348848/i-suddenly-felt-id-aged-helen-twohigs-paper-about-pmr

    • Posted

      Thank you for your reply. Looks like we are in the same unwelcome boat. I would ask my doctor to increase my dose above the 6mg I'm currently taking if my condition returned to the same initial condition I was in when it first struck me. That was godawful. Right now I'm mainly stuck with stiffness but I would not describe it as pain. Though unpleasant and uncomfortable it is on the other side of the initial pain I experienced. So I'll deal with it until something goes haywire and I need to up the dose. My choice is to suffer a bit in order to avoid the long-term possible side-effects of prednisone. Others may have a different view but, of course, I can't feel their pain which would weigh heavily into their decision. Again,thank you for the reply and good luck to you. We all need some luck with this one.

    • Posted

      You don't stay on the higher dose for long.  In my case I was at 15 for about five weeks then was able to decrease by 1 mg a week until 10, a bit fast for many people.  Since then I've used the dead slow nearly stop method which enables me to taper by about 1 mg or later .5 mg every month to six weeks, until 3 mg, where side effects are negligible, and since then (nearly two years ago) have reduced in the tiniest steps and very slowly.  

    • Posted

      Thanks EileenH, interesting paper, it amazing how each case is different, but many similarities. I will never forget sleeping on a reclining couch. My wife came out in the morning and asked how I was doing. I told her terrible I need to go to the bathroom and cannot get up. I had to use my cane to lift my right foot off the floor and she had to push my foot ahead, I could not move that leg. I could move my left, but it was very painful. Today I rode my bicycle 20 plus miles climbing our hilly roads. Yes, I have a positive attitude and a smile on my face. I was in terrible shape a little over a year ago! I thank you and the forum for the help to get me back up on my feet. ☺️
  • Posted

    To add to what Betty has said - trying taking your pred at night may also make a big difference to how much of the day you have to do something. The optimum time to take the pred to reduce the morning stiffness is 2am - and then the new dose of inflammatory substances shed in the body at about 4.30am never gets a hold and cannot cause the pain and stiffness. Since it takes 5 hours for you to get an effect it might work well for you and is worth trying I think.

    As for F2F groups - they only happen when someone takes the initiative and looks around for other people. After all, 2 people is the start of a group - and them meeting for coffee somewhere may grow. Church groups, over 55 housing schemes and, obviously, rheumatologist's offices are the sort of place you could ask to "advertise" for others of like mind. The fact that America in general is a very spread out place shouldn't make a massive difference if you have a reasonable sized local town - PMR is the most common cause of rheumatica problems in over 60s so finding another few people shouldn't be impossible.

    • Posted

      Interesting that you should mention taking the pred at night in that as of today I'm starting a new dosing regimen, 3mg pred in the morning and 3 before bedtime. If that doesn't help I'll try the whole 6mg at bedtime though that may leave me more exposed later in the day. Have no answer to that. Also, I'll have no problem taking the pred at 2am in the morning as this is the time I usually go to bed anyway. Additionally, I suffer from early-awakening insomnia so taking the pred in the middle of my sleep cycle is not a problem, if that would be more beneficial.

      Thank you for your suggestions regarding meeting other with PMR F2F. I do live in a large city (Atlanta, Georgia - metro pop. 5,789,700) though it is very geographically spread out like Los Angeles, CA. I was thinking of start a Meetup.com (https://www.meetup.com/) group for this condition and see if anybody bites. Thank you for your advice and interest. I look forward to being a member of this group while I'm dealing with this affliction.

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