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Last therapy session

Posted , 6 users are following.

fee25
fee25

Just feel like putting my feelings down somewhere today. 

Had my last counselling session, didn't think it'd feel so.....bad? I suppose it's sort of like losing your safety net. I think it's difficult because my counsellor was, and still is...the only person I speak to face to face openly about my problems and past. None of my family or friends know and I suppose it just feels strange knowing that it's all over! Coming some way but, fundamentally still feeling the same. 

Not really too sure what to do with myself now - counsellors can't be there for you forever but, I do hope the sessions didn't finish too soon. 

2 likes, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • RHGB
    RHGB fee25

    Posted

    i remember watching 24 hours in A&E recently (I spent two months in hospital 18 months ago and have only just finshed all my therapy and seeing consultanst).

    I remember vividly hearing a nurse say, for some hospital can be a nice place, all these people looking after you, caring for you, the caring environment. And then she said, some people get used to it, they haven't been treated like that for a long time. But they can't stay forever, they have to venture out at sometime.

    It struck a chord with me, it was like an umbilical cord being cut. It wasn't so bad for me, I had a nice home to go to and a wife. Some of the guys lived in hostels and they loved it. They said, you have a nice clean warm bed, three meals a day, somewhere decent to wash and change. You know you're safe at night.

    I said what do you mean, they said, you don't have locks on the bedrooms, so a drunk or druggy might come and kick the door in in the middle of the night, you never felt safe.

    I suppose the analogy it that we like the support and help and we miss it when it's gone.

  • rich98378
    rich98378 fee25

    Posted

    Feel free to talk to me if you like. I know how you feel. My family and friends know nothing. Apart from one I told and he hasn't spoken to me since.

    I'm being looked after by the home crises team at the moment. Lomg story But it's 20 mins a day. The rest of the time I'm stuck at home on my own bored . Signed of work due to bad back. At a loss 😕

    Feel free to pm me any time

    Best wishes Rich

    • fee25
      fee25 rich98378

      Posted

      It's hard talking to people and once you have...you can't untell them things! Meaning that if you don't like their response, like your friend who hasn't spoken to you - you can't take it back so they don't know anymore rolleyes 

      Sorry to hear about your back rolleyes ill health makes depression even worse, it feeds off it. I've been off work for a few months but back in a few weeks, not sure if I'm dreading it or not! 

      Thank you for you support Rich

  • sharla_94860
    sharla_94860 fee25

    Posted

    Look for a group to join in your town, maybe there is a group that meets and could futher give support and a listing ear.

    Another idea is trying to find a friend you can trust and open up to them. But it will have to be someone you trust unconditionally. I know that's hard, but maybe helpful. There are other ideas I have but not posting because others have been offended even though I didn't intend that. Best wishes.

    • fee25
      fee25 sharla_94860

      Posted

      Hi Sharla, thank you for your advice and support. 

      Looking for a group to join is a good idea, I'm not too sure if they have anything or not but it is worth a look! I will do some research on that now. 

      I wish I could talk to a friend, but there seems to be something holding me back from being able to. Which is a shame but, safe I suppose. 

      Thank you again Sharla x

  • DawnDedee
    DawnDedee fee25

    Posted

    To add to what you have said, I even disliked when each session came to an end, even though I knew I had more sessions scheduled.  It felt like a rip in my inner fabric.  I appreciate having someone to share all my details with too.

    You might feel like you have been thrown into the deep end of a swimming pool to either swim or sink, but just take your time, stay true to yourself, and let life happen as it will.

    My depression never goes away, but with the help of therapists and group therapy, I have managed to reach plateaus and smooth sailing until the next growth edge.  Than I begin again.

    It is painful to have the kind of past and life events that others do not want to hear about because it is too much for them to digest.  It is lonely.

    Cheers!  You may just have some clear sailing ahead!

    My best to you,

    Dawn, USA

    • Mrsfullof
      Mrsfullof DawnDedee

      Posted

      You're right it is lonely. I wouldn't wish depression on my worst enemy. It's a process to good mental health. God, friends, family, and exercise helps. I also agree with other comments of joining a group.
    • fee25
      fee25 DawnDedee

      Posted

      Hi DawnDedee, 

      Yes I know exactly what you mean, when the session finishes I'd always feel my heart sink - knowing that was it for another week - maybe more if one of us was unable to make the next session! 

      And yes, I do feel like I have been thrown into the deep end, I know I have support from my GP but I'm not due to see her for another 2 weeks so, I have a period of time where I feel very alone. 

      I'm glad to hear that you are sailing smoothly at the moment! I hope things continue to be positive for you! 

      Thank you for your post and your support Dawn 

    • DawnDedee
      DawnDedee fee25

      Posted

      Well, actually, I am not sailing so smoothly right now.  Over the last four and a half years, I have undergone five major surgeries and one minor one and it has taken a toll upon me in ways that I did not expect.  I am also raising my three granddaughters which is demanding.  I hit rock bottom with my depression last month and asked my doc for a different antidepressant.  About three weeks in and there has been some improvement, but I am still struggling with the toll of isolation and feeling like I just want to stay isolated forever, even though I do not always like it.  I meet all the needs of my children, so I guess in that way it is good that I have them in my life.  I took a super part time job just to get back out among the living.  That has gone well.

      So, I hope to sail smoother soon.  I just need to force myself to be more active in order to break up this love affair I am having with my bed!  I can stay there all the time if I could!

      So, I am on another growth edge right now.

      Take care!

      Dawn

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