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Slowly_dieing
Slowly_dieing

Has anyone left their relationship because they thought they didn't love their partner anymore?

Basically because they felt nothing ....about anything or anyone just numb?

To the outside world all is fine and they are still a big "happy" personality but behind closed doors to yourself and your partner things are different...she gets you but you can't talk to her because you live with her and you mistake feelings of nothing to mean you don't love her anymore?

Has anyone felt this, left and then gone back a few months later because you relise it's the depression and not your true feelings?

2 likes, 14 replies

14 Replies

  • gwen1953
    gwen1953 Slowly_dieing

    Posted

    You need help my friend.  If you don't want to go to your GP. Then speak to the Samaritans they will be more than happy to listen to you. However, if you haven't sought help from your GP to date you really should consider doing so as you need some sort of medication to get you stable.

    As for leaving your partner because you didn't love them anymore. That happens in relationships a lot. In your case though it's the depression making you do this. What started your depression in the first place? Everything has a trigger - what was yours?  If you know inside what triggered your problem then your GP should be able to offer you help. Don't give up....don't let your depression get the better of you.

  • michael98615
    michael98615 Slowly_dieing

    Posted

    oh yes i have, few times too, although when i finish with girl its with no intensions of gettin back, i thought i had contracted aids or sumthin from one of them, an i went to my doctors, n crying telling him why i think i had aids, he diagnosed me wiv depression, 

    she was making out we were really happy to her family, whilst the truth was she only had me for a short period of time, and she knew this, i told her to take it or leave it, as i have with many others, an erm they all took the time they could have with me, ( i'm now aware of how much of a knob i was back then )

  • jackie82937
    jackie82937 Slowly_dieing

    Posted

    Sadly many do leave relationships thinking the relationship is to blame and blaming the person who cares and loves them the most. Check out the Depression Fallout Forum there are literally thousands of people leaving relationships in denial and refusing treatment. 

    I speak from both sides, I've been ill myself with D, I took meds for over 26 years, fortunately I got help and better but did so with the support of my husband and family whom were my motivation to get help.  

    My husband has refused all help and still remains untreated, he has gone off and is now with OW who is a drunk.  As sad as this sounds and I can sympathise to a point as I know what D is like we have now reached a stage where we no longer care if he is still breathing, his sh*te behaviour has been both torturous and destructive. 

    I would urge you not to make any rash decisions whilst you are not feeling well and hope you get the help you need and better.

    • Slowly_dieing
      Slowly_dieing jackie82937

      Posted

      Hi Jackie thanks for thisit's actually given me a sliver of hope and I can seea slit of light at the end of the tunnel....I WILL SMASH THROUGH IT!

      Is the depression fallout forum on here??

       

  • adam28402
    adam28402 Slowly_dieing

    Posted

    When suffering from depression, one becomes detached and indifferent to most aspects of life. If your partner understands and is offering support, my advice would be to stay. However, if you feel you can't cope, it may be worth discussing this with your partner. You may want to stay with a friend or spend some time alone in a place you once enjoyed or find soothing. If this is the case, please make sure you make it clear to your partner that this is not in response to anything they have said or done and that you still love them. It is in both your interests to feel better, whatever it takes.
  • justbeingme2
    justbeingme2 Slowly_dieing

    Posted

    Well, it's the opposite for me. I was happy being separated from my husband and wanted a divorce.Something happened and I've become depressed and suffer from anxiety. I've lost myself so much I decided I'm not happy and have given it all up anyway. I'm just surviving so I said we could get back together. I see no end to this depression and anxiety. I've lost what I mostly wanted and aspired for so I am just living for my sons now. Thought they should be with their dad. I finally gave into this miserable life. Well, I wasn't much help!
    • jackie82937
      jackie82937 justbeingme2

      Posted

      I guess you have to analyse what is making you unhappy.  My husband's anxiety and D was bought on by bullying in his workplace, nothing I or our kids have done yet he has not spoken to our son in 19 months and didn't give a sh*t when our daughter had an operation and our son collapsed and was taken to A & E.
  • jackie82937
    jackie82937 Slowly_dieing

    Posted

    The forum is on a website by Anne Sheffield it will give you lots of really useful info. Take care x
  • jackie82937
    jackie82937 Slowly_dieing

    Posted

    Hi

    It's on a website that relates to Anne Sheffield it's called Depression Fallout Forum. It has lots of help and others sharing stories. D affects entire families not just your partner. Take care and all the best.

    • Slowly_dieing
      Slowly_dieing jackie82937

      Posted

      Thanks babe, will go look

      I'm just confused as I don't want a relationship but I love spending time together as it's easy and comfy to be together but then I think and feel...trapped and like i want to leave the next min.

      My partner has always been there for me, no matter what but I have put alot of crap her way 

    • matt63753
      matt63753 Slowly_dieing

      Posted

      Hey there, I have just left my family due to depression. It's easy for people to say that depression is a factor but for me there had to have been a point where you felt the relationship wasn't working in the 1st place. Having the big "D" makes this come to the fore....if you love each other even a little then take a break.....maybe a few days take dome alone time then revisit. ..for me that worked for a whole but those that know my story I had a repeating cycle and I needed to leave before anything happened...the hardest part is trying to explain to your partner how you feel even when you don't. I can't talk which I'm working on....try to talk..."pot kettle black, I know"

      Hope this hopes

    • Slowly_dieing
      Slowly_dieing matt63753

      Posted

      Hay Matt, thanks for the reply.

      To be honest i did think that in the beginning too, after all how can depression change my feelings so completely about this one person? This was the women I was going to spend the rest of my life with so surely depression can't change my feelings that much and it had to have been something that just wasn't working in the relationship so I left but the longer i'm away from her the more I'm thinking of things in the relationship and ok we had issues like every relationship but nothing major. We had the odd arguement where she wanted me to stay in when I wanted to go down the pub or to a football game etc but that's life really lol The important stuff has always worked between us, we talk...ok she talks, about none important stuff (I too an trying to work on the talking to her about THIS)  we enjoy each others company, she's a fantastic mum to our daughter and we have always been very physical with no problems what so ever there. Every relationship needs working on I'm beginning to realise, that doesn't mean theres no love and it's not working it just means we need to try harder ...together and i hope she is still willing to do that wih me after everything i've put her through!

       

    • Slowly_dieing
      Slowly_dieing

      Posted

      How long have you been 'gone' for Matt? It seems we have very similar circumstances. Would be good to talk more
    • Slowly_dieing
      Slowly_dieing

      Posted

      Don"t get me wrong, I still feel like I don"t want a relationship in my low periods which like you seem to be in cycles but during the good times I want to work on us! Leaving the family home has actually helped alot and I don't feel as much......pressure if you will about having to provide, having to be the bread winner, the dad, the husband etc Sounds so selfish but I think leaving and being away from that "family life' has helped me come to terms with the fact I do have something wrong with me and I can"t blame her for that as it's no ones fault but being away has given me more freedom to find out who I am again as it"s been about her...us for so long we forgot who we are individually!

      I want her to find her again too but I am now realising that I want to find US again too......it won"t be the same of course but I know we can get something diffrent that is just as good.....no BETTER then what we had as what we had didn't work so I am going to work on it.

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